It is not so much I mind having chosen a career path so vague as to rank somewhere below “illegal alien bus boy” in terms of status, but rather, I get no respect for doing it from my home that really rankles my soul.

Forget. I think people sometimes forget on the other side of any piece of written work is an actual person with a real life going on.

It’s not all fun, wayward pets, precocious children and spell-check.

Sadly, most of these “people who forget” live with me. The rest are my dearest friends.

My daughter, will tell anyone who asks that her mommy is a “colonist.” By this we can only imagine mommy vanquishes redcoats in between play dates and PTO meetings. Muskets anyone?

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Today I stumbled upon The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s “mom blog”, where Ms. Giarrusso, the author, contemplates the meaning of “working mother”. She writes:

Let me add that I’m aggravated by the term “working mom” because if you have children, even one, you are working. And you can’t always say “working out of the home” because I actually work in the home. Maybe we should say “employed” mom.

What I don’t understand is — why are stay at home mothers so insecure? Who cares if moms who work outside the home are called “working moms”?

While I agree that being at home full time to raise your children is a selfless and respectable choice if one has the luxury to do so. The rewards may not be as tangible as perhaps, a monetary bonus, but you must consider the value and effect your being home has on your children.

This whole, “I’m just as good as you are,” attitude is really childish. Many working moms would love to be home and not have to deal with childcare, while others, like myself, actually enjoy their careers — it’s what makes us individuals.

Of course, being at home is insanely hard work and nobody is trying to diminish that, but it is really not the responsibility of the working mother to make stay at home mothers feel adequate. Mincing words and trying to politicize the labels that go along with “working mom” is ridiculous and stems from a lack of fulfillment and self esteem in what one is doing. If a SAHM truly enjoys what she is doing and is not resenting it, she shouldn’t need strangers approval or recognition.

I mean really. How spoiled are we? We live in one of the richest nations on earth, where most SAHMs and WOHMs lifestyles would seem nothing short of gluttonous to many people around the world. It is not other people’s responsibility to make sure you feel good about yourself on top of that. If you feel under-appreciated, take it up with your family and friends. Stop blaming other people if you feel like your life is crappy.

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James Lileks sums up the whole work-at-home parent thing quite nicely:

It’s amazing: I’ve been going 97 MPH since I got up, and I still haven’t fixed the two big things that need fixing – mail, and the submission for the book. I’ll be up until two with this krep. This isn’t fun. The individual components of my life are fun; I still love what I do, but the aggregate effect is doubleplus unfun. I know it’s hard to understand why I can’t fix the flippin’ email and RESPOND to people to whom I owe responses, but the moment there’s one millisecond of free time the phone rings, or I have to make Gnat lunch, or the Oak Island Water Feature makes a horrid gurgle and I have to shut it off, or the dog yarks up half a crayon, or Gnat needs to have the spelling checked on her thank you notes – honest to God, I feel like a gong that’s being struck every 17 seconds.

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