I used to be a HUGE fan of Jon and Kate + 8 – I don’t have children, so I get a tickle out of watching others who do. I knew Kate was a bit wacky, but I took it in stride. I didn’t have anyone to vent to, so my pent-up frustration went unchecked. I must say, I enjoyed watching the show in ignorant bliss – until I found Jessica’s post on this blog! Now I watch each episode with a critical, and sometimes unfair, eye.

So yesterday’s episode — Color Me Gosselin. Why are you taking your kids to the Crayola Factory if you don’t want them to get dirty, or clean up after them, or use markers???  Kate, the reason your kids are having meltdowns is because you don’t let them do anything. And it’s not just me who feels this way – just ask your husband. He seems to think markers are fine.

While I am on the subject of markers – they are called washable for a reason. Last week I came home to find my precocious pooch with a chewed up purple Crayola marker. There was purple everywhere – on my cream rug, on his white paws, and all over my very expensive, very large tan micro-suede sectional sofa. But here is the real kicker – it washed right out! HA! Who would of thunk washable markers would just wash out!

Kate, you do not need to spend hours treating stains, as you claimed. You just stick the marker-decorated clothing in with the rest of the wash – you know, the stuff other people fold, iron and put away for you.

Your kids are what, three and a half and six (almost seven), right? Let them use a marker! They are freaking out and “melting down” because they are pissed. And the damn blue glue won’t kill them either. Do you really think that Crayola would supply toxic, hazardous and stain-inducing materials for their young patrons to use?

I know I don’t have any children of my own to clean up after, but during the day I am responsible for 20 – 25 youngsters. And it’s just me! No one else there to wipe noses, clean messes, correct papers, or march to lunch, music, gym, or the library.

Here’s my next complaint — stop complaining about taking your kids to public places. As a teacher I can tell you that field trips are much worse! 25 kids and only three adults to corral them. They have to be fed, taken to the bathroom, and shown an educational and enjoyable time – all of which is easier when the adults chill out and let the kids be kids.

So here is my final note on this episode – Jon, step up and put your foot down when it comes to Kate’s obsessive compulsive mandates. And Kate, quit your damn bitching! If you didn’t want to clean up after eight kids, you shouldn’t have had eight kids.

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Hi, my name is Prescott, and I’m a home makeover show junkie. (Hi, Prescott!)

Seriously — if the show involves tearing down walls and slapping up paint, I’m so there. I have a season pass set for Property Ladder on the Tivo. So it’s no surprise that when Trading Spaces debuted in 2000, I was immediately hooked. The chaos, the low budget, neighbors screwing up each other’s living room, Doug making women cry, what’s not to love?

Then TLC had to mess with their winning formula and take the show in a “new creative direction”. Paige Davis was dumped, designers left, they ditched a carpenter, and the participants went from soccer moms to young, trendy couples. And we didn’t like it. I gave up watching after a few episodes, along with millions of others. Trading Spaces’ ratings sank lower than a lead weight in the Mariana Trench.

But instead of canceling the show, they decided to give it one more try and go old school. Paige’s career as a stripper wasn’t working out, so they were able to woo her back — although sporting a kicky new haircut, which the wife could not get past (”Where’s the flip? WHY DID SHE CHANGE HER FLIP?” Yeah, she has issues). The budget has returned to $1,000 without all the “bonus room” and extra cash that was floating around the past couple seasons. Many of the original designers have returned as well — Frank, Laurie, Hildi, Doug, and Edward are on this season, but sorry, gentlemen, no Genevieve. We do have a little eye candy for the ladies (and closeted homosexuals like myself): meet Thad and Brandon, filling the role of hunky carpenter #1 and #2, respectively, a prerequisite on these shows.

The one big difference from the original is that they are no longer having neighbors trade spaces. Instead, the teams are put together to create maximum tension: a woman trading with her mother-in-law, an executive assistant trading with her boss, and on the premiere episode, ex-spouses trading bedrooms. It sounds gimmicky, but it did add a nice flavor to the show, especially since the ex-wife has since remarried but the ex-husband has not. So he constantly had the pained expression of, “sure, I would love to help design a lovely bedroom where ANOTHER MAN WILL BE BANGING MY WIFE.”

Doug came up with something completely non-offensive as always (although he did add a meat cart to the “steak house” look he was going for). Hildi is thankfully still working her “unique” (i.e., bat shit crazy) designs which usually feature 2,000 pounds of feathers or 6,000 doll heads, this time nailing up 1,500 rubber rings all over the walls. Have you noticed that she sadistically makes it so that if the homeowner doesn’t like what she’s done, it will require hours and hours of time to remove?

Bottom line: The original fun of Trading Spaces is back, and I’m glad to once again have my regular Saturday night date.

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If you haven’t caught an episode of TLC/Discovery Health’s “Jon and Kate plus 8“, it just may give you a little solace in the hardships of ones own parenting challenges. Jon (an IT Analysist) and Kate (a former nurse) Gosselin used in-vitro fertilization to help spawn 8 kids. One set are twins and the other six are from a subsequent litter.

Last season, I really liked the spunk coupled with the unconventional and imperfect parenting techniques used by Kate. Although she tended to run a tight ship, she was also human and threw political correctness to the wind when it came to the realities of having 6 toddlers and young twins only 4 years older than the sextuplets.

This season, I have to say, the reality parenting TV show has lost some of its charm with me. Although I enjoy, in a voyeuristic sort of way, watching parenting pained by temper tantrums and legal slavery by way of 6 more demanding children than I am left to deal with, I also have found Kate to be as bratty on occasion as her preschool broad.

In some ways Jon and Kate are very lucky. They have a cozy network of incredibly supportive family and friends who take and/or watch their children frequently. In the first couple of weeks of this season, I watched as Kate went to spa treatments, out to dinner with just her and her husband and plan a vacation by themselves in the Florida Keys. Personally, I know of very few 1.3 children families that are afforded so much free time as they are.

Another less than flattering observation I’ve made — Kate is not very nice to her husband Jon. While Jon is easy going and incredibly accommodating to his wifes idiosyncrasies, she is always snapping at him and making condescending remarks. Is it not enough that he spends all of his time at home helping with the children and goes to work on a daily basis to provide for his classroom of children and thus allowing Kate to be an “at-home mom”. Of course, I can’t imagine that 8 kids in childcare would be worth the effort of working outside of the home, but she always acts as if he is clueless and her life is so incredibly hard. Often times, she resorts to treating him like one of their toddlers.

One episode, Kate decided to hire a cleaning person. Through her exhaustive search, she finally settled on the one person who actually agreed to take the job on — so her prospects were limited. After the brave cleaning lady left, Kate then went around her house with imaginary white gloves, pointing out the hidden dust left behind. “Thanks for trying,” Kate said out loud, along with other rumbles of disappointment. The implication was that the cleaning woman was fired, not up to Kate’s high standards. Of course, you should get what you pay for, but cleaning after 6 toddlers and their bigger sisters, something is bound to get forgotten. Perhaps she should have cut the cleaning lady as much slack as she expects in return?

While Kate seems like a lot of fun and incredibly organized, it’s the little things — weird things — that seem to get her in a tizzy, like what shoes the older girls are going to wear to a carnival or if any of her family or friends puts her out by being one minute late. Sometimes you get the feeling that Kate is nothing more than a control freak, loving every challenge that comes her way, but at the same time, expecting others to reward her and recognize her for having it so tough, when in actuality, she really doesn’t. Sure, having 8 small children would drive the sanest person batty, it has also given them a much desired family and tv show. All in all, they have a pretty fortunate lifestyle.

As much as I like this show, I wish Kate would be less focused on herself and the indulgences of her children and complain less. Most families, even with less children, have their own unique challenges and have many other issues to deal with on top of it. Count your blessings Kate. You are not the first “over-worked” mother and you won’t be the last.

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