Okay, this is why the terrorists hate us…

A recently published book teaches children how to cope with their mommies surgical makeovers. This is not a joke, it’s a children’s book written by a plastic surgeon who wants children to appreciate their mother’s need and the importance of having a perfect nose and looking good.

For more on this soon to be children’s literary classic, “My Beautiful Mommy” by Dr. Michael Salzhauer:

That’s exactly the question Salzhauer’s book tries to answer, chronicling the journey of a mother and her child as they visit the fictional office of the fictional, strapping “Dr. Michael” for cosmetic surgery.

“Why are you going to look different?” asks the daughter of her mother in the car ride back from the doctor’s office.

“Not just different, my dear — prettier!” exclaims the mother.

Now we just need a children’s book that explains why mommy won’t mingle with those who drive Hyundais, shop at Walmart and buy knockoff Crocs.

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