A school in Colorado Springs is just the latest in a long line of schools that have decided to try and stop kids from being kids by banning tag:

The touch-and-run game and any other form of chasing was banned this year at Discovery Canyon Campus’ elementary school by administrators who say it fuels schoolyard disputes.

“It causes a lot of conflict on the playground,” said Assistant Principal Cindy Fesgen. In the first days of school, before tag was banned, she said students would complain to her about being chased or harassed.

Fesgen said she would hear: “Well, I don’t want to be chased, but he won’t stop chasing me, or she won’t stop chasing me.”

Here’s a memo listing other games Asst. Prin. Fesgen is thinking of banning:

Duck, Duck, Goose — the goose is representative of discrimination in our culture. Causes conflict.

Four Square — not all grade levels has number of students divisible by four. Causes conflict.

Seven Up — reminds kids of sugary lemon-lime soda. Some children’s parents don’t allow them to drink soda, which makes them feel bad. Causes conflict.

Hide and Seek — students often complain that other student took the best hiding spot. Causes conflict.

Double Dutch — name derogatory to exchange student from Holland. Causes conflict.

Red Light/Green Light — too hard for students with slower reflexes. Causes conflict.

Red Rover — students consistently report 15 seconds of mild pain in wrists after Johnny R. “comes over”. Causes conflict.

In addition to the above, any game that involves either horizontal or vertical momentum is not allowed, as we’ve discovered any sort of motion by the students may cause conflict.

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