I remember when I first made the clear connection between what I wore and how I felt. It was the dawn of middle school, which in our district was seventh grade. Back in the dark ages of the 1980’s when I rode my very own dinosaur to school we called it “junior high.” We also called it terrifyingly awkward.

Nervous beyond measure about the brave new world of “big school,” I clearly remember donning my first double layer of polo shirts with the “popped” collar (read: collar standing straight up so it tickled our ears. This required endless fussing and adjusting throughout the day and caused more than one teacher to threaten, exasperated, to snip the collars clean off with scissors if we didn’t stop fidgeting and take a note on the hydrologic cycle or pre-algebra already!) I paired this fetching double layer of short sleeve chic with a pair of deep indigo Gloria Vanderbilt jeans so stiff it was difficult to bend my knees to sit, and a pair of the all-powerful Nike tennis shoes with the burgundy swoosh. While clothes shouldn’t matter. They did. And they do. They really, really do. I practically floated into the school, blissfully confident that I would stand out chiefly by fitting in.

Many years hence, and now a stay at home Mom who can work in her bathrobe if need be, I don’t actually remember the last time I donned an outfit designed to increase my strut through the grocery store. Not that I don’t have clothes in my closet that make me feel like a million bucks, I do. It’s just that a classic A-line linen number with coordinating kitten heels just isn’t quite right for the PTO.

Thus, I get up each day and wear something respectable, practical, and probably half a decade old. Accordingly, I now live vicariously through my daughter.

Found. Miss Thing, at seven, has finally found her fashion sense. After six and three quarters years of not giving a fig what she wears up to and including her brother’s hand-me-down overalls, she has been hit – and hard - with the knowledge that a great outfit can make a great day.

Channeling her inner girlie-girl my athletic, bug catching, tomboy has discovered the giddy allure of pretty dresses, twirly skirts, and the all-mighty power of the curling iron. She favors frilly dresses clearly designed for Easter Sundays and bridal parties. These are to be paired with “clicky” shoes (otherwise known as patent leather shoes that make that distinctly delicious tapping noise when walking on hard surface flooring). She will forego these only on PE days and only grudgingly. Even then you are likely to find her pounding out the kick balls in full crinoline and sneakers.

Accordingly, getting dressed each morning has morphed from an easy shrug into a cute little tee-shirt and jeans into a full-blown production featuring tights, accessories, and hair product.

Of course I enjoyed dressing her to the nines as an infant, but as affirmed country dwellers, I really did revel in having a child who would willingly – and quite cheerfully – don a sofa slipcover if I’d asked her to. Now, my little fashion maven is dropping ominous hints about shopping and uttering four-letter-words such as “mall.”

As I drip-dry all these party dresses (lest they all melt in a puddle of petrol-based shiny fabric and netting in my dryer), I ponder the importance of appearance and confidence and the messages – both pro and con – that this might send to a modern girl.

Style. Dropping her off, I watched her walk in to the school. She’s a little thing, nearly staggering under the weight of her pink kitty bookbag. Yet, somehow, she looks taller, her shoulders are squared and it’s a wonder those clicky shoes are any use at all as she fairly floats, rather than walks, into the building. In short, she looks exactly as only someone who feels really good about themselves can.  If I was a betting woman, I’d say she’s probably going to feel great all day long and probably won’t change out of those clothes till bedtime.

That’s ok, because as I saw her disappear behind the doors, I too was immediately back in school, wearing my corduroy skirt, Holly Hobby tee-shirt, and walking tall in my wedge-heel Hush Puppy shoes.

I probably looked like a train wreck, but I felt like a million bucks.

I’ve decided that learning to feel good in your own skin – and the clothes your skin is in – is admirable. Fashions may come and fashions may go but the feeling you get from feeling good about yourself never really goes out of style.

Bookmark to:
    

While wandering through Barnes & Noble this week, I picked up a copy of People Style Watch, a monthly spinoff of the weekly rag, devoted to celebrity fashion trends. After thumbing through it, rolling my eyes, and making my cynical comments (apparently out loud, judging by the look I received from the woman near me), I put it back from whence it came and was proud I didn’t cave to the neuroses of people that look to celebrities, and even more pitiful, People Magazine for fashion advice. A waste of $3.99 ($4.99 Canadian). Yep, I showed them, and I walked out of the bookstore scoffing Jennifer Anniston and the other insipid Hollywood types on the cover.

But of course, once in the car I couldn’t stop thinking about all the skinny jeans and the in depth pieces like the article on what pockets are good for what kind of butt. So like any indecisive, red-blooded woman would do, I got home and immediately asked my husband to pick it up when he went to the grocery store the next day.

And thank God he did, because had he not I would have missed out on “What’s In, What’s Out”. I’m a gal-pal, so I’m gonna share the deep knowledge I gained:

What’s Out

Cleavage (You’re not supposed to flaunt it anymore. Guess I’ll keep those naval grazing v-necks at home and not wear them to the office anymore.)

A Mixed Bag (It’s not cool to carry around your whole cosmetic bag any longer. Yay! More room for diapers!)

Swedish Furniture (See, those Swedes don’t know everything — take that Ikea)

Dark Chocolate from the Chocolatier (Get off your chocolate high horse ladies, even Godiva is owned by Campbell’s)

Packing Light (If you’re not traveling with a lot of shit, at least make it look like you are)

Screaming on the Inside (If you keep that shit built up inside you, you’re liable to blow a load)

What’s In

Backsides (Butts are in, just ask Mark Foley)

Single Compact (Using blush for eyes, face and cheeks…so…the sunburned look. That’s a good look)

Swedish Clothes (Apparently the Swedes have redeemed themselves)

Candy from the Corner Market (Like pink M&Ms)

Overpacking (Because air travel isn’t enough of a pain in the ass)

Letting it Out (Lamaze breathing techniques are being taught at chi-chi spas for use during bikini waxes)

So, there you have it. Now you don’t have to waste $3.99 ($4.99 Canadian). You’re welcome.

Bookmark to: