Posted
September 30, 2008 at
11:22 am by
Kymberly
You never know when your own fossilization is going to fall on you like a piano from above.
For me, that moment came when a friend’s nine-year-old flipped open her brand-new cell phone to show me all the features. It was way better than her “old one” she informed me, which was “lame and did nothing.” For the record, she had her “old one” for approximately one year.
Now, I’m a tad older than nine and my old cel phone weighed about four hundred pounds and the only time it “flipped” was if I dropped it. My “new” cell phone is a few years old, is not pink, and has no abilities beyond making and taking telephone calls. I guess that counts as “lame” don’t you? Fabulous. My accessories are being outpaced by a nine-year-old’s.
continue reading…
Posted
September 28, 2008 at
11:17 am by
Kymberly
I am not a pioneer. I have been heard to say (often and loudly) that it would pay Mr. Wonderful to remember that he did not marry Ma Walton or any one of those insufferably plucky Ingalls girls. I was raised a city kid. I turned a spigot and water came out. I flipped a switch and lights came on. I turned a thermostat to 80 and my mother had a coronary. This is how I roll.
Then we moved to the country. Overnight I went from a wholly reliant on public utilities type of person to someone with the equivalent of her own water treatment plant in the basement. This is to treat our well water which is hard as iron and will cut you if left untamed. We run it through our own little answer to a municipal treatment plant just to beat it into potable submission. We also heat with wood in order to stay abreast of heating bills running slightly less than the national debt. While a money saver, the wood stove and all the resultant stacking and chopping (and swearing) does have a distinct air of the pioneer about it.
continue reading…
Posted
August 20, 2008 at
12:04 pm by
Kymberly
“So … honey, about that unfortunate incarceration…”
No, too vague.
How about, “So honey, once you make bail you are really going to laugh!”
No. Too flippant.
OK. I’ve got it. “Please don’t kill me and/or divorce me I really, really meant to mail in that speeding ticket payment for you but you know how one thing goes into another and before you know it you find that you’ve tucked the ticket in the visor of your car and completely forgotten to send it until about five days after it was due by mail if you didn’t want to appear before the judge, and oh, by the way, you were supposed to appear before the judge yesterday and of course, you didn’t.”
Whew! It’s a mouthful, but I think it’s believable if I say it fast and, preferably, over the telephone. Long distance seems best.
Mistake. See, I didn’t mean to get my husband in trouble with the law. Not really. I meant to mail his traffic ticket. I really did.
continue reading…
Comments (0)
