A few years ago I wrote a column about how that upcoming summer’s gas was predicted to top $2.50 per gallon.  At the time that seemed outlandish. Now it just sounds quaint.

Gas. My husband once noted, dryly, that I was less “stay at home mom” and more “gassing around three counties mom.” He had a point. In truth, we weren’t so much raising our children in the country, as raising them in their car seats. I once asked our pediatrician about the risks of curvature of the spine from the hours spent in the car as we commuted to distant parks, playgrounds, shopping venues, and the homes of friends. She assured me my babies would be fine. (A little shorter than nature intended, maybe, but otherwise just fine).

This year, finances are tough and seem poised to get tougher everyday. Like most anyone with an ounce of sense, we will be looking long and hard at how much we spend on gasoline (and other luxuries like, oh say, food) and adjusting our expectations accordingly. If we lived anywhere near close to anything other than cows, I’d make outlandish claims to walk or bike everywhere I needed to go this summer. In fact, since we are approximately 100 miles from everywhere I CAN make wild, outlandish claims like that, and then act disappointed when I realize it won’t really work. So consider that done.

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It was the use of the phrase “party circuit” that finally put me over the edge. The phrase, you see, was used in conjunction with the word “birthday” as in “are you doing the birthday party circuit?” The term used to explain that any self-respecting modern child must first have their “actual birthday day party” with cake and presents from immediate family followed by their “class party” whereby they take treats into class. This culminates In a blow-out “theme” party for the child’s invited friends at a venue sure to impress other parents and/or break the bank. If a child should happen to suffer the misfortune of having a birthday over the summer holiday, then the only possible way to remedy this tragic situation is with something spectacular. Perhaps you could rent Disney World?

Excess. Clearly, the days of warm party punch in Dixie cups and a cupcakes homemade by the “birthday mom” are long past. Now you’ve got to really put your thinking cap on (and credit card on the line) to plan the “perfect” birthday party.

Examples of over-the-top birthday madness include:

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