I’d like to personally thank Sharon Stone for making me feel like a better parent.  In her recently rejected attempt at changing the custody agreement of her 8-year old son, the judge cited Stone as an “overreacting mother” and used as an example the fact that Stone wanted to use Botox to treat her son’s smelly feet.

Just how smelly were his feet?  Were restaurants emptying out when Stone and her son entered?  Were the neighbors calling the police about possible dead bodies in the house next door?  I have a 7-year old son and had no idea that smelly feet were negotiable.  He removes his shoes and socks the minute he gets home from school and, while disgusting, it’s been a great help in my attempt to curb my snacking.  My 13-year old daughter’s skate bag smells like one of the cats died in it. 

What kind of world is Sharon Stone living in that has no bad odors?  Is there someone on her staff who fills out the Profession line on their tax return as Odor Removal Specialist?  She has two more sons, what the hell did she do with diapers?  I’m guessing a Diaper Genie wasn’t enough; was there someone waiting in a running car to take each and every diaper straight to the dump? 

Someone needs to tell Ms. Stone (and perhaps the judge just did) that once you have children you lose all rights to being Freakiest Person in the House.  You can try, but it’s pointless.  And if you’ve somehow created a career out of being a little bit freaky you will be given the child who dips barbecue chips in his chocolate milk, has a repertoire of crazy voices, and poses as a guitar-playing statue in the window at the Hard Rock Café.

Oh, and has super smelly feet.

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