If someone doesn’t, she’s going to keep appearing on reality TV shows and rehashing her romance with Barry Williams ad nauseum and I am ready to throw another football at her nose just to shut her up. 

How are today’s teenybopper television stars supposed to learn how to morph into actual normal adults when their predecessors are still doing ANYTHING for a buck?  And apparently Maureen did do anything for a buck including trading sex for drugs.  Did I need to know that?  No.  Do I really need to know everyone she slept with and every house she passed out in and everything she put up her nose?  No, no, and no.  Besides, we’ve heard all this stuff before and if you think you can get freak us out any more than we were freaked out when we heard about Greg and Carol hooking up – well, you are wrong my little blonde friend. 

It’s not like I expect the actress to behave just like her character.  I understand that Marcia Brady is fictional, but why does five years on a television show entitle one to still demand our attention 24 years later?  In an interview McCormick said that she has finally accepted her life-long connection with Marcia Brady.  Duh!  As long as she can still make money off of it, why wouldn’t she accept it?  And if she has accepted it, why is her new book titled Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding my True Voice?  We know the story; is there a former Brady actor who hasn’t appeared on a reality show?  And we’ve heard her true voice, on her second (or third) reality show where she tried to become a Country Star. 

I find it quite frustrating when people feel they have “survived” the things that brought them fame and fortune.  Why is being a beloved character on a beloved show something that she needs to recover from?  You know, maybe those Partridge Family kids didn’t all have the best time making their show either but they are not still in our face about it.   

What I’d really like to see is the memoir of Marcia Brady about she managed to keep her legs crossed and her hair shiny while being played by a bulimic hussy.

Well, it’s been almost a year since I wrote my first critical post on Jon and Kate Gosselin. Of course I had no idea what I was getting into. Never could I have imagined that a reality TV show would be met with such ardent opinions, with Kate Gosselin turning out to be quite a polarizing figure. The very mention of Kate Gosselin to those who have caught the show conjures up resentment on one side and admiration, and even sympathy (dare I say “pity”), on the other.

I have mentally divided the “pro” Kate crowd and the “anti” Kate crowd and even though I don’t watch the show on a regular basis (I lost a lot of interest after the first few seasons), I do happen to catch it once in a while. I was never a super-fan, but found some redeeming values in Jon and Kate and can now admit after catching a few reruns that I really can’t stand Kate Gosselin. There, I said it. Now, lest I be associated with the obsessive-stalking-loathing-Kate camp, I wouldn’t waste anymore bandwidth on the subject matter than this post is taking up. Subscribing to the KIA philosophy (Kate is an a-hole), is priority number 16,232, after plucking a stray eyelash out of my eyelid. And even though I have come to terms with the disgust for this woman, I’m not as prepared to run with the KIA crowd. In no way do I want it to be part of my identity. First of all, I have many internet friends who happen to like her, and I have been known to reach across party lines to embrace those with differing opinions [Ed. note: You're such a maverick]. Second of all, I kinda like having my very own villain. Even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense, I kept on watching the reruns while cursing at the television. In fact, the more angry I got, the more I stayed glued.

So, either Kate Gosselin is an a-hole and doesn’t care, or she’s an a-hole who knows how to keep viewers entranced or enraged. After all, Howard Stern gained his popularity by listeners that hated him more so than from listeners that loved him. Something tells me that she isn’t that smart though.

Or is she?

continue reading…

My 5 year old son is definitely the product of his mom’s love for reality television.

Yesterday, I caught him playing American Idol in his room. He was playing the part of Ryan Seacrest, so he lined up his stuffed animals (who he affectionately calls his “guys”). “Sprinkles” the penguin was first, “Sprinkles, Simon said you weren’t at your best last night…did America agree?…We’ll find out after the break.”

“Sprinkles, you are SAFE!”

Then Minnie Mouse was marched out to the pretend stage, “Minnie, I’m sorry, this is the end of the road for you.”

He does the same thing with Deal or No Deal. I often find him with his Curious George monkey, “You are kinda freakin’ out, aren’t you? It’s your choice. Will you take the deal?”

He told me the other night that when he’s 18 he’s going on American Idol and he’s going to win. I guess I’d better invest in some music lessons.

Crack. Me. Up.

Wondering if anybody else out there has an inspiring star and if they would nurture it?

I have no interest. If he wants to pursue it, I’d let him and I’d support him, but I’ve read that David Archuleta’s father is a slave driver and berates him if he does poorly. What makes a parent take it from the cute, stuffed animal play to coaching them into a life of strict discipline and focus?

Please don’t think that I have low self-esteem if I say, it sure as hell isn’t me!

However, there are many moms out there vying for the cheesy title.

Last week, in Miami, a slew of mothers waited in line in hopes of being awarded the “Hottest Mom in America” title. Winners receive cash prizes and a dream. A pipe dream.

Now, I’m not knockin’ it, because I support moms who take care of themselves and refuse to give up their sexiness in lieu of motherhood, but some of these chicks look as if they’re trying a little too hard to stay young. You can look sexy and beautiful without having to look all skank-like. (Can I say that without feminists holding signs on my front lawn?). Auditions continue around the country for all of you who think you’re the shizzy-mizzy MILF.

From the Miami Herald, photo by Ronna Gradus. Hottest Mom Audition, Miami, FL.

Now this mother/daughter pair takes me back to that 1970s/80′s commercial about who had the younger hands. One is 17, the other 47. It took me a second to decide. You have to admit, this chick is a pretty hot mama:

Read more about Hot Moms, go to The Miami Herald:

Local moms compete for ‘Hot’ title A gaggle of gorgeous moms from across South Florida lined up in Miami Beach for a chance at cash prizes, a modeling agency interview and the title of ‘Hottest Mom in America.’
BY LAURA MORALES

At 5 a.m., when many partygoers are going home from clubland, a bunch of fair ladies began lining up Saturday outside an empty Miami Beach theater with no velvet rope and no bouncer.

Some wore classy, elegant dresses, while others looked set to embrace a brass pole. There were naturally pneumatic stunners and others who obviously had had some, ahem, surgical assistance.

But they all shared one sultry goal: to become the Hottest Mom in America — and earn some cash for themselves and their kids.