I had almost forgotten about the once-infamous “Octomom”, i.e. Nadya Suleman. Then I got this article via Google Alert. We all knew it was coming-it was only a question of when. When is the reality show coming to a network near you????

Nadya Suleman, the mother of octuplets born Jan. 26, has inked a deal with the British production company Eyeworks, which plans to begin filming a reality TV series based on the controversial single mother and her 14 children.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m a little burnt-out on the big-family-I-Gave-Birth-To-A-Million-Kids shows. It’s losing its appeal, its freshness, its ability to cause morbid fascination. At least for me.

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One could say losing weight and maintaining weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.

So, imagine the irony when the word got out that Dane, one of the eliminated Biggest Loser contestants shown completing a marathon on a recent episode, actually didn’t run the entire race. A field producer picked him up and drove him three miles so he could be shown crossing the finish line. 

And, what about the race clock showing a finish time of 3:53? That was also wrong. Some of the lightbulbs had went out; the time was actually 5:53.

In full disclosure, I’m not a fan of “The Biggest Loser.” That’s not to say I’m not inspired by people who lose a lot of weight. I’m not sold that the way they do it on the show is healthy. Hundreds of pounds off in eight weeks?  The people I know who’ve lost a lot of weight and maintained it over time took off the pounds slowly.  They made lifestyle changes that could be sustained in a real-world environment.

But still, why would someone, be it an overzealous field producer or Dane himself, want so desperately to be shown completing a marathon? If the dude weighed 100 pounds more just weeks earlier, isn’t it inspiration and accomplishment enough that he’s out there running? Trying his best? We don’t need a faux marathon completion to see that Dane made great strides through his time on the show.

Way to take the “real” out of reality, NBC.

I dated someone who dumped me because I wasn’t intellectually stimulating enough for him. Probably because while he was off curing cancer (that was sarcasm) I was watching Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team.

The premise of the third season of the CMT blockbuster (for CMT that is) is simple enough. Watch tall, thin women attempt to become Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.  (And yes, Cowboys is plural; there’s more than one Dallas Cowboy after all.)

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Now that Nicole Richie has gone and selfishly had a baby, Paris Hilton needs a new best friend. But what’s a celebrity to do when looking for Miss Right to club-hop with, appear drunken and half-naked in public with, and play not-quite-as pretty second fiddle to her fawning adoration of herself?

Why, create a reality TV show of course!

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If someone doesn’t, she’s going to keep appearing on reality TV shows and rehashing her romance with Barry Williams ad nauseum and I am ready to throw another football at her nose just to shut her up. 

How are today’s teenybopper television stars supposed to learn how to morph into actual normal adults when their predecessors are still doing ANYTHING for a buck?  And apparently Maureen did do anything for a buck including trading sex for drugs.  Did I need to know that?  No.  Do I really need to know everyone she slept with and every house she passed out in and everything she put up her nose?  No, no, and no.  Besides, we’ve heard all this stuff before and if you think you can get freak us out any more than we were freaked out when we heard about Greg and Carol hooking up - well, you are wrong my little blonde friend. 

It’s not like I expect the actress to behave just like her character.  I understand that Marcia Brady is fictional, but why does five years on a television show entitle one to still demand our attention 24 years later?  In an interview McCormick said that she has finally accepted her life-long connection with Marcia Brady.  Duh!  As long as she can still make money off of it, why wouldn’t she accept it?  And if she has accepted it, why is her new book titled Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding my True Voice?  We know the story; is there a former Brady actor who hasn’t appeared on a reality show?  And we’ve heard her true voice, on her second (or third) reality show where she tried to become a Country Star. 

I find it quite frustrating when people feel they have “survived” the things that brought them fame and fortune.  Why is being a beloved character on a beloved show something that she needs to recover from?  You know, maybe those Partridge Family kids didn’t all have the best time making their show either but they are not still in our face about it.   

What I’d really like to see is the memoir of Marcia Brady about she managed to keep her legs crossed and her hair shiny while being played by a bulimic hussy.