Awful, Very Bad, No Good, Terrible Twos
Posted
June 7, 2009 at
8:03 pm by
Maureen
My son turns two in August. He’s been exhibiting a lot of behavior that falls squarely into the “terrible twos” category since about 17/18 months. I’ve been told this is normal. I’ve been told it gets better at two, then bad again at three. I’ve been told “just wait until two.” Whatever the answer, I’m hoping it either ends soon or I’m granted about 500 more patience points by the divine.
Seemingly overnight, my son transformed from a kid we could take anywhere—WOULD take anywhere thanks to his perfect restaurant behavior—into a child that can’t handle sitting in a shopping cart for five minutes while in Target because all he wants to do is squirm and run around and knock things over.
Tags: discipline, Parenting, terrible twos, toddler behavior, toddlers Comments (2) |
Empty Threat? Not In This Case
Posted
May 3, 2009 at
9:43 am by
Maureen
Recently, I heard a story in the news and was pretty torn. It was story of how a mother in New York ordered her bickering 10 and 12 year old girls out of the car and drove away. Here’s the story in case you missed it. Apparently, Madlyn Primoff left her girls on the side of the road, returned some time later and reported them missing when they weren’t where she left them. A Good Samaritan had seen the girls on the side of the road and brought them to the police station.
Madlyn has been charged with a crime and isn’t able to see her daughters anymore.
I’m torn because this case definitely isn’t black and white for me. I mean, who didn’t hear the threat of “If you don’t stop fighting, I’ll pull this car over and…” But, c’mon–we all knew it was an empty threat. But, who hasn’t gotten so annoyed and worn down by their kid that they’re tempted to leave them on the side of the road and drive away. Of course, there’s no way I could actually DO it, but I’d sure as hell be tempted. And the kids aren’t little–they’re 10 and 12. Definitely old enough to understand punishment and consequence.
I think this just brings to light a larger issue that parenting is HARD. It’s frustrating and thankless and will make you question nearly every decision. But, thankfully, for me, is 100% worth it.
But I’m interested in what everyone else thinks. What’s your opinion on this situation?
| Tags: discipline, madlyn primoff, Parenting Comments (3) |
Bigger Than Me
Posted
March 2, 2009 at
10:26 pm by
Maureen
While I usually exploit my dunce-y motherhood moments in public blog posts, today I’m going to talk about something that’s bigger than me. Something a lot more worthy of attention than mishaps at Chuck E Cheese.
It’s easy for writers to remain in their own little cocoons, forgetting that there’s other people out there, forgetting that our words do reach people, forgetting that we have a public platform, albeit somewhat small.
Earlier this month, I received an email from a reader, Victoria, asking for my help. She has a sixteen-month-old daughter, Gwendolyn, who has been diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). SMA is the #1 genetic killer of infants, and 1 in 40 people unknowingly carry the gene. The life expectancy is two years old. continue reading…
| Tags: gwendolyn strong, Parenting, petition to cure sma, SMA, spinal muscular atrophy Comments (2) |
Second Kid? *Shrug*
Posted
February 24, 2009 at
9:31 pm by
Maureen
Since my son turned eighteen months old, I’ve discovered a disturbing trend among friends and family–the questions about “second child” turning from merely inquisitive to downright hostile. When my son turned a year, it apparently was a magical number in which people deemed it socially acceptable to inquire about the timing of “the next one.” I mainly just shrugged my shoulders and made a big production of pouring myself a nice fat glass of Cab. I mean, my kid didn’t sleep through the night until six months, people. I think I’m still recovering.
But now that he’s a year-and-a-half, the shrug and wine-drinking no longer quiets them. I get bombarded with, “Don’t you want your son to have a close sibling?” and “Do you want to change diapers until you’re sixty?” As if I would stop, put the wine glass down and skip off to the bedroom with my husband to avoid diaper changes in middle-age.
And for the record, yeah it would be great for my kid to have a close sibling and no, I don’t really want to be changing my diapers and my kid’s at the same time. But there’s this thing called “sanity.” And I’ve barely recovered it due to the aforementioned non-sleeping and three months of colic and constant zombie-state and being pregnant in the middle of August and swelling up to the size of the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.
So.
Where does this leave me?
I’m not sure. But I think I’m going to pour myself a nice glass of Cab.
| Tags: child spacing, Parenting, second child, toddlers, wine Comments (6) |
When Your Mama Doesn’t Raise You Right
Posted
February 19, 2009 at
2:10 pm by
Kymberly
The working title of this blog is obvious: “what happens when you’re mama doesn’t raise you right.”
Now that I’ve gotten my mother’s attention, I’ll confess that I think my mother raised me right. I mean she had some suspect DNA to work with AND it was the seventies. The problem is that well into my thirties I have managed to maintain the spirit, sense of drama, and utter lack of self-control of a thirteen-year-old girl. (No disrespect to any lovely and self-possessed thirteen-year-old girls intended or implied).
| Tags: apologies, Parenting, Sibling, slacker Comments (1) |
Mommy Knows Best?
Posted
February 4, 2009 at
8:59 pm by
Maureen
| Tags: childproofing, decisions, organic food, Parenting, safety, toddler Comments (7) |
The Parent Club
Posted
January 2, 2009 at
11:11 pm by
Maureen
I was sitting on my couch tonight, finishing some editing work on my latest novel, when I decided to take a mental break and do some internet surfing. As I pulled up one of the trashy celebrity news websites, I read that John Travolta’s teenaged son had passed away in an apparent accident while the family was on vacation. It immediately struck me and I said a prayer for their family. As a parent, I wanted to run down the hallway, scoop up my little munchkin out of bed and squeeze him good and tight. continue reading…
| Tags: celebrities, jett travolta, John Travolta, Parenting, protection, toddler, toddlers Comments (2) |
New Year’s Resolutions Highlight Simple Joy
Posted
January 2, 2009 at
5:39 pm by
Tricia
Like you, I’ve read a plethora of resolutions as people mark the New Year with hope and purpose to achieve something personally or professionally, and although I’m not a January first resolution-making kind of girl, I’ve found myself drawn to people’s determined posts about parenting.
As life throws hard-packed snow balls throughout the winter months, more of us are reevaluating family and the simplest of joys. Perhaps as people struggle to stand taller in the face of job losses, tumbling home values, foreclosures, and global economic uncertainty, we find comfort in what we’ve always known-that our children, our families, provide the most honest reflections of what we have accomplished and the merriment we have yet to create. continue reading…
| Tags: Parenting, Parenting resolutions Comments (0) |
Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell: Chuck E. Cheese
Posted
December 15, 2008 at
9:07 pm by
Maureen
Guess what? It’s winter! In fact, the windchill in Chicago today was -20 when I woke up. And it isn’t going to get much better until, oh, APRIL.
Which, in addition frostbite, snow and ice, means that my husband and I are trapped inside on weekends like caged animals. Gone are the leisurely trips to the park, strolling around the zoo and long walks around our neighborhood. We’ve already started to go a little stir-crazy trying to occupy our toddler with indoor activities. continue reading…
| Tags: chuck e. cheese, discipline, indoor activities, Parenting, toddlers Comments (4) |
Are you on Santa’s list this year?
Posted
November 27, 2008 at
1:39 am by
Marge
With Black Friday looming ahead, many of us are looking at our lists and figuring out what we want to give those we love and what we can reasonably afford to do without losing our homes in the process.
Everyone I’ve talked to is planning a for a skinnier Santa this year. We’ve opted for one larger family gift for us with only two to three smaller items for the kids. Most of our friends are getting memberships to support some of our favorite local organizations that need support more than ever.
Homer and I have not even begun to consider gifts for ourselves. It appears we’re not alone. According to a New York Times article this week, more and more parents are opting to shun their own desires to give their kids the best Christmas they can afford.
The concept of self-sacrifice isn’t anything new. Most of us would starve lest to see our offspring experience a pang of hunger or the disappointment of an empty stocking on Christmas morn.
If times weren’t as tough as they are, what would be on your Christmas list?
| Tags: holiday shopping, New York Times, Parenting, self-sacrifice, skinny Santa Comments (3) |
Pee Wee’s Playhouse: Best Show Ever
Posted
November 18, 2008 at
9:47 pm by
Maureen
Growing up, I had a Saturday morning ritual. I’d get up, lay around in my pajamas, eat Lucky Charms and watch cartoons and other morning TV shows. Now, what specific shows I watched, I can’t remember. Except for one. One show, since cancelled, that has left an ever-lingering black hole of suck in my life.
I’m talking about Pee Wee’s Playhouse. continue reading…
| Tags: childrens-television, Parenting, pee wee herman, pee wees playhouse, television, toddlers Comments (4) |
TV Can’t Take all the Blame
Posted
November 10, 2008 at
1:53 pm by
Tricia
On the heels of the July National Institutes of Health report that teen pregnancies rose in the United States for the first time since 1991, a new study from the RAND corporation shows sexual content on television to be strongly associated with teen pregnancy.
Are we surprised? Every parent I know routinely contemplates the over sexualized content of our media and the youth it targets, but what are we really doing about it? I hear mothers and fathers alike complain that little girls’ fashion includes bare belly buttons and plunging neck lines, yet many of these same parents admire the scant frocks and willingly open wallets to indulge a daughter’s desire for hardly-there swimwear and skirts with little more than a hem.
| Tags: Parenting, sex and media, Teenage pregnancy Comments (2) |
Tikki Tikki Wha?
Posted
November 6, 2008 at
9:09 pm by
Maureen
As parents, we always hope to pass down some of our interests to our children. For me, that’s a love of books. I was always the kid staying up late with the flashlight at night because just HAD to find out what happened in her new Baby-Sitters Club book. I watched Reading Rainbow religiously, and went straight to the bookstore after it was over to find the recommended tomes.
This love has stayed with me throughout the years, translating into becoming a writer myself and a still-avid reader. Books aren’t just a hobby, they’re an obsession.
| Tags: children's books, Parenting, reading, writing Comments (4) |
God Invented Babysitters For A Reason
Posted
October 23, 2008 at
7:31 pm by
Maureen
So.
Let’s talk social life after one has a baby, shall we?
In the short fourteen months that I’ve been a mom, I’ve discovered this sub-sect of parents that I didn’t know existed: People Who Will Not Hire A Babysitter. I’m not talking about the people who don’t have access to reliable sitters, or who don’t go out that much. I’m talking about people who absolutely refuse to leave their preshus baybee with anyone other than Grandma on the basis of principle. continue reading…
| Tags: babysitters, childcare, Parenting Comments (2) |
Where do you draw the line?
Posted
October 21, 2008 at
11:47 pm by
Marge
How do you divide the workload between you and your partner in parenting (i.e., spouse, domestic partner, etc,)?
Do you sometimes feel like you’re shouldering most of the workload while your partner gets the “fun stuff”? Well, according to this article from CNN, moms are still carrying the bigger basket of parenting and household chores (about 39 hours a week). However, men have added an average of nine hours to their duty roster over their fathers and uncles 30 years ago.
If you have the fortune of sharing parenting duties, where do you draw the line? Are you 75/25? 60/40? How did you define your roles and how have they evolved since? It’s likely that the work (and the fun) may not be divided evenly, but do you think that division is equitable? How are the roles in your household different than the ones you grew up with?
| Tags: CNN, division of work, Parenting, role models, roles, sharing parenting duties Comments (3) |
Dr. Sears Will Have My Head on a Stick
Posted
October 8, 2008 at
7:49 pm by
Beth
Taunting - apparently, in my house, it’s the new parenting strategy. This morning over breakfast my older son, now three, was refusing to feed himself. Again. A habit he picked up after his younger brother was born and which I expected to occur. In preparation for the baby’s birth I did as much research as I could about what I’d see from my older child once a sibling was introduced and about how to ease that transition as best I could. So I knew all about the whole regression thing. I was prepared for it on all fronts, because I was a good parent like that. You know, one who did research and knew every little thing.
But now, fourteen months later (yes, the baby is now fourteen months old and we are still dealing with the blasted regression) at 7:00am, my preparation is out the window, along with my patience, as my preschooler demands with shrieks, tears, and orders that I feed him his oatmeal. The result was not one of my more stellar parenting moments. continue reading…
| Tags: bad-parenting, Dr. Sears, Parenting, sibling competition, tantrums, taunting Comments (20) |
Ho Ho Ho Happy Halloween
Posted
October 6, 2008 at
9:33 pm by
Maureen
This weekend, in an effort to distract my one year old who was completely disconsolate due to cutting eight teeth all at once, I went shopping for a Halloween costume. My son immediately perked up and smiled at all of the interesting shrieking skeletons, weird creatures popping out of foam trash cans and flying bats.
My husband also smiled. Why? Due to all the disgusting female Halloween costumes.
Hmmm…so let’s just examine the options, OK?
I could be a firefighter–complete with hat, booty shorts and suggestive “fire hose” t-shirt. Or, I could be a referee–with a whistle, hat, tight striped t-shirt and booty shorts. Or even a policewoman dressed in a holster, badge, fishnet stockings and (say it with me) booty shorts.
My other option?
Disgusting witch. Pointy hat, long black tangled wig, green face makeup and rubber wart. And a long black shapless dress.
While I don’t have any desire to make a political statement during Halloween, Seriously? Our options are either witch or slut? C’mon, the costume companies aren’t even trying to hide THAT agenda.
It didn’t help that in one corner, there was simply a row of lingerie. Black bras, thongs, garter belts and pasties. Apparently, you don’t even need a real “costume” for Halloween. You can just wear underwear! No need to put on a pair of animal ears and try to pass as a sexy cat or something!
Christ.
| Tags: costumes, Halloween, Parenting Comments (7) |
My So-Called Adult Life
Posted
September 17, 2008 at
8:03 pm by
Maureen
For my birthday this year, my mom bought me the boxed set of the entire season of My So-Called Life. For those who don’t know what it is let me explain:
Best. Show. Ever.
Got it?
If that isn’t enough description. Run to Wikipedia and read the description. I’ll wait.
When I was in high school, MSCL was, at times, the only beacon of hope in my otherwise tortured high school existence. OK, maybe that was a wee bit dramatic. But seriously, it was the first show I’d ever watched that “got it.”
90210 it wasn’t. The characters didn’t all drive BMWs their parents bought, or rally around Donna Martin graduating. They dealt with falling in love, betrayal, friendship, lost loves, unrequited crushes, annoying parents, supportive parents, etc.
I still remember watching the pilot of that show. In it, the main character, Angela says something about how parents always ask you how your day at school went. But school is like a drive-by shooting; you’re just happy you survived. When I heard that line, I fell in love. Hard.
So, I sat down and watched all of the episodes again. And completely reconnected and understood and felt like I was fifteen again. The second I heard that opening music, I became all giddy and clapped. My husband didn’t quite know what to make of it.
I guess the good news in all of this is if I have a daughter someday and she tells me how I can’t possibly understand her life, I’ll pass along the DVDs and say: “Checkmate. Yes I do. But you still can’t miss curfew.”
Oh and I also discovered I’m still in love with Jordan Catalano. So hot. But so weird-looking now.
Anyone?
| Tags: my so-called life, Parenting, parents, TV shows Comments (4) |
Newsflash: Turning One Apparently Equals Babymaking Time
Posted
September 4, 2008 at
10:57 pm by
Maureen
What is it about turning one that seems to be the magical age? I’m referring to not just us as parents, because turning one is a whole different ballgame for moms filled with sippy cups, finger foods, walking and wondering how the hell I’m going to save for his college AND my sure-to-be-needed facelift.
I’m referring to other people. There’s something about once your kid hits a year that reactivates people’s crazy switch. At my son’s first birthday party, I got this question more than once: “When’s the next one?” The first time I heard it, I paused while pouring myself another glass of wine and responded, “Next what? Party? Bottle of wine going to be opened?” I was truly, honestly confused.
Until the evil partygoer gave me a Look and said, “You know, next kid.”
I knew I had two options: answer politely or clutch the hair against my head and run screaming at the thought of another six months of offering my soul to the devil himself if he could just get my kid to sleep through the night.
I chose the first option: “Are you kidding? Please, tell me you’re kidding.”
Now, I’m getting the question all over the place. If I wear a loose fitting shirt, people assume I’m trying to hide something. If I complain of being tired, my coworkers wonder if I’m knocked up again.
For the record, to everyone: NO, OK? The answer is NO. For the love of sweet Jesus, NO.
But what’s funny to me is that these are the same people nodded in agreement during conversations of how hard it would be, how unplanned it would be, if I got pregnant again anytime soon.
But, now that my kid is a year old? Fair game, my friends.
I’m thinking of carrying around a glossy brochure for the nearest residential psychiatric facility and whipping it out whenever I get any of those questions going forward. As in, “Here. Here is where I would be if I had another kid right now. Visiting hours are from 4-6pm. I’ll be there for the next, oh, eighteen years or so.”
| Tags: another baby, first birthdays, Parenting, second child, toddlers, turning-one Comments (2) |
I suck at life, part 30
Posted
August 14, 2008 at
12:50 pm by
Tracy
Not driving never bothered me. As a teenager, and twenty-something my friends were happy to pick me up and drive me around in exchange for jokes, my driving advice, and sometimes ciggarettes. As an older, but still twenty something living in urban areas where public transportation won over driving, I simply didn’t need to. And once I had the popette I still walked everywhere - I just carried more stuff.
But now we live in the country, and I want to drive. I have pretty graphic daydreams where my kid and I are driving on country roads, with indie rock blasting, and all the time in the world and there’s only one thing stopping me from passing this dream: my lisence. So I have been trying to get my permit, so I can practice on said country roads for 3 months until I’m official, and can drive with dogs, babies, friends, whoever! Trying is the key word, today I failed for the second time in a row.
Do you know how mad I am? The test, if I might say, is ludicrous! And you know what? I’m not only saying that because I’m pretty pissed, it really is. Instead of asking questions about DRIVING they asked me about 10 about what times a sixteen year old can drive at. Like I care. Note: I also could have studied and memorized these, but I didn’t. Another question I got wrong: what are signs of drunk driving? Weaving, stopping, or speeding or all of the above…well jee, since mostly everyone stops and speeds I’ll go with weaving. When I’m wasted, I walk and weave so I’d probably do the same while driving, right?
Wrong. Apparently drunk drivers, stop, speed, and weave. But. But? I almost got on my hands and knees to beg for my permit, because really I know how to signal with my hand, and who has the right away, and how many feet behind a stop sign to park but I just suck at knowing that a 16 year old can’t drive past midnight…but I didn’t, I just kind of frowned and went to Mcdonalds.
Third times a charm right?
| Tags: driving, mcdonalds, mom blog, non driver, Parenting, permit dest Comments (5) |
