I hardly watch the news on television anymore. I don’t like the tabloid-spin most news networks are putting on their stories, and I don’t like being surprised by stories about children who have been abducted or women who have been violated or any of those other happenings that I can’t forget about for days afterwards. I prefer to just read the headlines and make a decision about whether or not I need to know all the horrid details. I also don’t like being fed this notion that I need to be afraid that any of this bad stuff is going to happen to my family, and that I should be super-vigilant any time I leave the safety of my fortified house. And that I should have a fortified house. And know karate. In some countries, I might be encouraged to carry a gun, to protect myself from the madness that I see on the news every night.

I don’t like being scared and worried. And as a parent you give birth to worry. The list of things you can add to your list of things to worry about doubles when you have kids. What am I saying? Doubles? How about increases by a factor of a zillion. I try very hard not to think about the things that can happen to them but I have an active imagination and I’m usually pretty quick to jump to the worst possible conclusion. I’m 37 in a couple of weeks and my head is covered in grey hair. You can’t tell unless you look at the roots, but it’s there. Very, very grey. Grey like Bill O’Reilly’s hair. OK, grey like Anderson Cooper’s.

The problem is that the kids, my two otherwise perfectly innocent little girls, occasionally do things that give me reason to worry. And although they may see their little adventures as just that - an adventure - I see it as the story on the evening news, complete with graphic images and adjectives in bright scary-red capitals. I don’t want to be one of those parents who wont let their kids out of their sight, but I also don’t want to be one of those parents who wish they had been more vigilant. Where or how do we draw the line?

continue reading…

Bookmark to:
    

As gas prices quickly rise to nearly $4 a gallon ($3.77 in my neighborhood — thankfully I live near an Indian Reservation and can get it for the low-low price of $3.44 a gallon), the government has decided to start sending out the much needed rebate checks on Monday, a week earlier than originally planned.

I have seen countless articles from financial experts on what to do with the money — stick it in your savings account or pay off debt. Seems logical to me. I’m not too concerned with boosting the economy by purchasing a flat screen TV or a new summer wardrobe. I’m more concerned with boosting my credit rating and safety-net. Our rebate check will be nice and safe in the bank. Sorry George.

Retailers hate people like me! Lucky for them they’ve devised some ingenious marketing plans to put all of those rebate bucks in their pockets. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy to snatch up $106 billion dollars.

Sears will be converting tax rebate checks into gift cards at cash registers and online, and adding on another 10 percent. The gift cards have no expiration dates or fees, but shoppers must purchase a gift card equal to the entire amount of their rebate check.

Wal-Mart’s customer service centers will be cashing rebate checks and running special promotions to encourage spending.

Home Depot is planning a campaign to encourage shoppers to use their tax rebates to buy eco-friendly products such as programmable thermostats (and I’m sure a new turbo lawn mower and shiny grill).

You can get all of the details here.

So what’s your plan? Will retailer promotions and incentives sway you?

Bookmark to:
    

I keep seeing sooo many blogs ridiculing that clip of the women from the LDS-breakoff compound in Texas. They’re robots, they’re brainwashed, they’re as interesting as oatmeal, they’re frumpy, they’re ugly, they’re dressed like Laura Ingalls, they sound coached . . . it just goes on. Many people are demonizing these women, but most are simply laughing their asses off at them.

Well, I’m not. I can’t see anything the least bit comical in that interview. What I see, instead, are three women who have been raised to be gentle, soft-spoken, modest, and kind, thrust into the glare of the public spotlight days after their children were taken from them at gunpoint and the safe insular world that’s all they’ve ever known was torn apart. I see three women standing up to that pressure with incredible grace and strength, doing everything in their power, from breaking their culture’s rules of personal modesty to parroting lawyer-penned lines, to show the world that they’re not child-raping freaks so that they can just get their babies back. I see a fucking TRAGEDY here, and my heart goes out to them.

I do not agree with the practices of the Poly-Mormons. Hell, I just don’t like Mormonism. I also am not a fan of child-rape. But that isn’t what happened there, and nobody seems to understand that.

Picture the scene. You’re a girl, you’re fifteen, you’ve been getting visits from the cardinal for a couple of years now. You live in a culture where there is no independent role for women outside the home. Your parents come to you and say they’ve found a man they’d like you to marry, an older man who is stable and can provide for you and your children and who will treat you kindly. They never say the words, “you have to”, but they’re implied—after all, you’ve been raised to obedience.

You’re not at a Mormon compound in Texas—you’re a free-born American farmgirl born in the year 1835. Or an English noblewoman born in 1532, or a Russian peasant born in 1746. Basically, you’re any girl born anywhere in the world before the twentieth century.

In our modern culture we seem to equate “marriage to underaged girls” with “brutal rape of babies.” Not so. These “children” were probably quite a bit less traumatized by their wedding night than I was by losing my virginity against my will at roughly the same age. Hell, they’re less traumatized than their male counterparts, countless of whom are exiled and abandoned because with the old men marrying multiple young girls, they have no prospects of a wife and family and therefore no place in their culture. But that’s another beef, for another time.

I’m not trying to defend the practices of these “cults”, although I could, to an extent. I’m defending Nancy, Esther, and Marie from the demonization that is being heaped upon their bowed heads. These women were not knowingly commending their daughters into the hands of slavering, abusive child-rapists. They were marrying them off to provider-husbands, as their culture believed. They’re not Koreshians sending their ten-year-old daughters off to a “spiritual marriage” with a slimy cult leader, they’re simply doing what their mothers did, what their grandmothers did, what YOUR great-great-grandmother probably did. They are living the life to which they were born in the best manner possible, and now that life has been torn out from under them. Imagine what you’d feel like if suddenly THEY were the majority, and came storming into your home and confiscated your children because you’d been a horribly abusive monster for letting your 17-year-old daughter dress like a hooker. Myself, I’d be a pissed-off, fire-spitting, enraged dragon-lady. I would not have the strength to sit in front of a camera and quietly, gently, and smilingly defend my way of life. I’d make an ass out of myself, and where would that get me?

Again, I’m not saying that I believe the way these people live is “right”. I’m also not saying it’s “wrong”. It’s most certainly different, but not so much so in a historical context. I’m just saying that no matter the findings of abuse that may or may not come out of the investigation, there is no call to humiliate these women further with public ridicule. They have suffered more in the past few weeks than you or I, G-d willing, will ever suffer in our entire lifetimes. They are terrified, they are lost, and they are despairing. And yet they still have the strength to go on a television program where they knew they were going to be torn apart for their beliefs, and answer questions calmly, gently, and smilingly. They have comported themselves with more grace than I could ever hope to. That’s not “brainwashing”, folks, that’s fucking CLASS. I admire these women for that. And that’s all I’m going to say on the subject.

Bookmark to:
    

Once upon a time I worked at a boy scout camp, and once upon a time I harbored a crush on a certain co-worker. One night we were at Friendly’s and he patted his seat urging me to come sit next to him….as we gazed into each others eyes over a sampler platter he told me I looked like I belonged on a farm (what with my sun streaked hair, freckles and all). He said I was the perfect “farm girl…” I thought that was hot.

Country bumpkins my friends, are hot. They’re all sunburnt noses and flimsy sundresses. They take baths in claw foot tubs after a long day making jam, and they leave the door open. They make love on giant four poster beds all creaking and clawing and there’s no air conditioning so everybody is a sweaty mess. Uh huh, that’s what I think when I think of “perfect farm girl…”

But I mean, I don’t live on a farm. I live on shitty Staten Island in a tiny apartment with too much stuff. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t suck too much, I do live within walking distance to a craft store and a TJ Maxx but as far as traffic, the general population, crime, shitty schools etc go I hate it. The private school has a huge sign hanging over it that says “DON’T KILL THE UNBORN BABIES…” it’s very welcome. So our lease is up in two months and we are getting the (pardon) fuck out. Debating city vs more rural suburb was easy. I don’t want to pay 3 grand for a tiny apartment when we both work from home. I want to drive fifteen minutes to get to Trader Joes. I’ve never drove! I want trees, flowers, and backyard for our dog to run around in. I want to let my cat roam the neighborhood.

So I’m happy and psyched to say Saturday we are going to peep our dream home. It’s a rent-to-buy (sup shitty market) but we are hoping to buy in a year or two. It’s got a detached garage so Phil can have a mancuary and I don’t even need to see him! Sitting in our living room! Working! Trying to prevent my daughter from playing with his USB cords! And it’s got 2 acres, and it’s only 15 minutes from my own fantastic mommy, and it has a room I can have all to myself for writing. I wanted to share my happiness! Lets pray we get it.

So what’s your take, city, or country bumpkin?

Bookmark to:
    

Shows what I know. Just as a 15 year old can’t be charged with statutory rape for having sex with another 15 year old, I figured something similar would be the case in which a 14 year old possessed naked pictures of a classmate. Turns out that’s wrong:

A 14-year-old St. Charles boy faces felony charges after police say he forced a girl of the same age to take pornographic photos of herself and distribute them over the Internet.

The boy, who is not being named because of his age, is scheduled to appear in juvenile court Nov. 9 on a charge of possession and distribution of child pornography, police said Monday.

According to the story, however, the only “distribution” he seemed to do was send the pics via IM to one of his buddies.

While rather heinous, is child pornography the right charge here? That this kid, if found guilty, will presumably be labeled a sex offender in the legal system? Seems like a tricky one to me — what do you think?

Bookmark to:
    

Okay, so I watched much of the Democratic debate last night. Not much to report unfortunately, besides Mike Gravel being bat-shit crazy, that was kinda entertaining. Nothing blew me away though, but I thought it was very interesting that when a reporter asked Edwards, Obama and Clinton about whether or not bringing gay awareness into the 2nd grade curriculum by reading a book about two princes getting married was appropriate, even the most liberal of the candidates kinda squirmed. Barack Obama managed to dodge the question with his masterful way of answering a question without really answering it with some mumbo jumbo about “fear”. John Edwards was open to it but then grappled with the idea of second graders being read the book in question when he responded, “Did you say second grade? Second grade might be a little tough.”

Hillary Clinton responded the most conservatively when she said that whether or not a child is read a book about gay couples should be left up to the discretion of the parents. Even though Mitt Romney has come out accusing the Democrats of being out of touch and supporting such controversial subject matters that defy “family values” by way of government mandate of gay subject matters into the curriculum — it isn’t entirely an honest or true attack. Republicans like to use this as a divisive issue, but from what I heard last night, I wonder how divisive it is. Could this be a non-partisan issue? Could it be that I actually agree with Hillary on something? (By the way, I’ll expect the same moral outrage directed at her that was thrown in my direction, right?)

Anyway, the way I see it, Hilary Clinton is the most moderate, followed by Barack Obama and John Edwards being the quintessential flaming liberal. I was impressed that Barack Obama said he wouldn’t take nuclear power off the table while Edwards said no way, that it was too dangerous.

Anybody else watch? It’s the first one I’ve watched because frankly, I’m getting Election 2008 overload and the election is still more than a year off! Although as long as Gravel is still in it, it’s more entertaining than anything else on prime time…

[youtube]L3gQfz8GC0o[/youtube]

Bookmark to:
    

Does anybody remember the movie, “Fearless“? It’s a 1993 movie in which a few plane crash survivors go through post traumatic stress disorder and try to reconcile why they lived and others died. Their minds start to play tricks on them as they start to see themselves as invincible. It was inspired by a real life event.

Imagine being the 7 year old boy and being the only survivor on a plane, piloted by your father? That’s exactly what happened recently when a small, commuter plane crashed into Lake Erie.
How will this boy ever be the same? How does one come back from something like this?

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — Rowing through darkness, Chuck Herndon steered his boat toward where he had seen a plane’s taillights plunge into Lake Erie. Then, he heard a faint cry.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Herndon yelled, rowing furiously and following the voice. But he still couldn’t see anything until a pair of small hands reached up and grabbed the side of the boat.

Once safely onboard, the shivering 7-year-old boy told Herndon that his dad and older brother didn’t survive.

“He said, ‘My father and my brother were killed in a plane crash,’ just like that,” Herndon said Tuesday, a day after the Monday night crash off Kelleys Island, midway between Toledo and Cleveland.

Bookmark to:
    

Holly Schnobrich, a 24 year old mother of two boys in Lafayette, Indiana, got whacked out on vodka and Percocet (which she admitted to taking when the children “acted up”) and decided to go out for a little joy ride around the subdivision with her sons, ages 5 and 3. But being the conscientious mother that she is, she knew she was too impaired to drive so she let the 5-year-old drive instead. Fortunately alert neighbors contacted the police (oh, how I would love to hear that 911 call). When they questioned Schnobrich as to why her preschooler was behind the wheel, she responded, “But he’s a good driver.” Mom somehow had the wherewithal to buckle up, but her younger kid was unrestrained in the back seat.

The young driver said this to a local news station:

On Thursday, Weston told 6News that he was having a hard time driving.

“My legs were too short to reach the pedals,” he said.

Weston said the incident won’t stop him from wanting to drive in the future.

“I want to be a race car driver when I grow up,” he said.

Bookmark to:
    

Just weeks after Nimisha Tiwari took the lives of her children and herself, another mother in the Chicago area decided to take the most desperate of ways out of an apparently messy divorce. Magdalene Kamysz, 28, of Crystal Lake, Illinois, committed suicide on Tuesday by stepping in front of a commuter train near her home. But if that wasn’t sad enough, when police went to her home four hours later to notify relatives, they found her 7-year-old daughter, Sydney, suffocated in her locked bedroom. While nothing was left behind to indicate why Kamysz took such drastic measures, the back story is eerily familiar:

One focus of the inquiry is an ongoing legal battle that Magdalene was waging with Sydney’s father over custody and visitation issues.

“It has been a somewhat heated and contested situation,” Nygren said.

Sydney’s father, 29-year-old Alan Burton of Walworth, Wis., filed a civil suit in February seeking to formalize his visitation rights with the girl, which his attorney said had been disrupted earlier.

But despite how contentious their relationship might have been, it’s hard to contemplate how it could lead to murdering your only child. These feelings don’t just come out of nowhere, why didn’t she seek some help? I guess we’ll never find out.

Bookmark to:
    

I’m sure most of you have been following the recent “lead paint on toys” stories and reports of other unsafe products that are making their way to the United States via China. And I think we can all agree that a bit more monitoring of the safety of imported goods needs to take place, especially when it comes to stuff for our kids. Well, Erin Burnett from CNBC thinks you’re an idiot. In a recent appearance on Hardball with Chris Matthews, Burnett scolds concerned parents demanding more stringent standards on Chinese goods to “be careful what they wish for.”

[youtube]_B_lroC-XTM[/youtube]

I mean really, people, you want to cut into Wal-Mart’s profits just to keep your family safe? What the hell is the matter with you? Either this woman is completely insane or she just took the award away from Stephen Colbert for the best comedic deadpan delivery on the planet.

Bookmark to: