This has been the second toughest week of my life.

The relationship that I thought was going to last forever has fallen apart, largely at my own hands.

Friends and family are taking sides.

Stuff is being divided.

Schedules are being drawn up.

Lawyers and therapists and judges, oh my!

Mommy needs a drink. And in a bad way.

But is it okay? Have I earned it? Am I sending my kids a message that by knocking a few back, I’m going to make things better? I know that pomegranate martini I’m lusting for isn’t going to fix my marriage, nor will it keep my mother from telling me that I’m making the worst mistake of my life.

But gosh darn it, it sure as hell would taste REALLY good about now.

Paul Clarke posted this piece in The New York Times this week. He explores the impacts of adult alcohol consumption in the presence of children. He observes that, for many of us, our initial exposure to the delicious delight is as a drug, not a a drink. With underage partiers stowing stolen bottles in cars for late-night bonfires and house parties with parents in absentia. The thrill of doing something “bad” and not getting caught adds a new dimension to consumption - one that makes the drink into more of an “act” than merely a beverage.

I was raised in a home where, like the author, there was really no mystique about alcohol. Dad would have the occasional screwdriver at a wedding or card party at the house. We always had Southern Comfort on hand for my Grandma Freda to sip while she taught me how to play King’s Corners. Mom was never afraid to douse spaghetti and lasagna sauces with a giant jug of Gallo, while spilling a bit into a tumbler to quench her thirst while cooking.

I was always allowed a taste, but the flavor never did too much for me. I still can’t explain how I’m half-Canadian and I can’t stand the taste of beer (sorry Moosehead, I’ll pass). Yes, I had a fake ID (Sorry Mom! I’ve disappointed you yet again.), but my desire was for access to where my of-age friends were, not the drink itself. Although I was known to tie one on every now and again, I was the one who was usually holding some poor sorority sister’s ponytail while she prayed to the porcelain goddess. I saw firsthand the price for overindulgence, and experienced my share of it now and again.

So how do I handle it now that I have kids? Yes, Homer and I drink in front of our kids. We jokingly refer to it as “mommy juice” and “daddy juice.” When they get old enough, we’ll probably let them have a sip now and again, like our parents did for us. Do I expect them to make stupid mistakes with alcohol? Of course. But I am responsible for teaching our kids that all food and drinks can be okay in moderation and enjoyed responsibly.

After all, too many Oreos means that I’m holding another ponytail over the porcelain goddess. This time, though it’s on a five year old.

Yesterday’s edition of the New York Times posted this article by Abby Ellin about how the economic downturn may force companies to make accomodations to working parents to avoid losses in productivity from extended materinity/paternity leaves. For some folks, apparently, it’s a win-win. They can clean junior’s bottom while keeping the bottom line in the black.

To be honest, the thought of bringing my 5 year-old Boo to the office makes me shudder. And let’s not talk about her 1.5 year old little bro, the Doodlenator. In my case, it would bring my productivity to a complete standstill - even if there was on-site daycare.

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A lot of thought, or at least you’d hope. After all of the commotion over celebrity baby naming over the last few years, you’d think the “civilians” among us would learn from those “on high” and have some good sense in chosing the monikers for their offspring.

Michael Malone over at the New York Times apparently feels the same way, having gone through the agonizing process of picking “Charlotte” from more than 60,000 on the lists and books out there to help him decide.

We went through a similar process when naming our two. We have a rather challenging Polish last name, so we wanted to keep the first name somewhat simple and easy to spell. Our criteria also included:

No names of SUVs: Sorry Sierra, Dakota, Tahoe, etc. You belong in a garage, not a crib.
No brand names: Apple, Armani, or Chanel. I agree with these folks - As much as I love Steve jobs, there will be no product placement in the nursery please.
Avoid names of slutty or women of angst as captured in song. We’re big Cake fans, but this killed Jolene and Daria from our list. This also kills Roxanne.
No stripper names: Really, with toys like these on the market, do we really need to strap her to the tracks with “Chastity” or “Destiny”?

So, now that I’ve probably ticked off at least half of the people who read this, tell me. What are/were your criteria for picking a name?

With Black Friday looming ahead, many of us are looking at our lists and figuring out what we want to give those we love and what we can reasonably afford to do without losing our homes in the process.

Everyone I’ve talked to is planning a for a skinnier Santa this year. We’ve opted for one larger family gift for us with only two to three smaller items for the kids. Most of our friends are getting memberships to support some of our favorite local organizations that need support more than ever.

Homer and I have not even begun to consider gifts for ourselves. It appears we’re not alone. According to a New York Times article this week, more and more parents are opting to shun their own desires to give their kids the best Christmas they can afford.

The concept of self-sacrifice isn’t anything new. Most of us would starve lest to see our offspring experience a pang of hunger or the disappointment of an empty stocking on Christmas morn.

If times weren’t as tough as they are, what would be on your Christmas list?