One recent commenter asked how I would compare myself to Kate Gosslin, the co-star of “Jon And Kate Plus 8″. Not being a personal friend of Kate’s, I wouldn’t know how to make a fully accurate comparison. Having been on television (for a whole 43 minutes,) I can attest to the fact that it is impossible to “know” somebody just by what you see on a television show, even if it is “reality.” I have watched Jon and Kate Plus 8, a few times. I must say that I enjoyed what I saw, purely because I could relate to having a large family of youngsters. I have gotten to know Kate’s television persona a bit and I think that we are alike in many ways, but I see some clear differences, as well. Here is my unprofessional list of Kate/Kadi comparisons, based solely on what I think I know about her (which may be close to nothing at all):

• Kate has 8 kids.
• Kate was pregnant for almost 9 trimesters, approximately 16 months, or less.
• Kate is organized.
• Kate has multiples (which I always prayed against!)
• Kate had to use fertility treatments to conceive.
• Kate has short hair.
• Kate has a husband who adores her and agrees to do crazy things like TV shows, to make her happy.
• Kate has her own TV show, based on her life.
• Kate has someone come over and do her laundry.
• Kate gets paid to do what she does, on a consistent basis.
• Kate seems to love being a television star.
• Kate loves being a mommy.
• Kate is a tad controlling and bossy.
• Kate has a formal education and is a registered nurse.
• Kate gets to take cool vacations with her family.
• Kate’s husband works at home.
• Kate only has two kids in school and six at home still.
• Kate is in her early thirties.

Okay, now here is a list of contrasts or similarities, as they correspond to each of the above:

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I used to be a HUGE fan of Jon and Kate + 8 – I don’t have children, so I get a tickle out of watching others who do. I knew Kate was a bit wacky, but I took it in stride. I didn’t have anyone to vent to, so my pent-up frustration went unchecked. I must say, I enjoyed watching the show in ignorant bliss – until I found Jessica’s post on this blog! Now I watch each episode with a critical, and sometimes unfair, eye.

So yesterday’s episode — Color Me Gosselin. Why are you taking your kids to the Crayola Factory if you don’t want them to get dirty, or clean up after them, or use markers???  Kate, the reason your kids are having meltdowns is because you don’t let them do anything. And it’s not just me who feels this way – just ask your husband. He seems to think markers are fine.

While I am on the subject of markers – they are called washable for a reason. Last week I came home to find my precocious pooch with a chewed up purple Crayola marker. There was purple everywhere – on my cream rug, on his white paws, and all over my very expensive, very large tan micro-suede sectional sofa. But here is the real kicker – it washed right out! HA! Who would of thunk washable markers would just wash out!

Kate, you do not need to spend hours treating stains, as you claimed. You just stick the marker-decorated clothing in with the rest of the wash – you know, the stuff other people fold, iron and put away for you.

Your kids are what, three and a half and six (almost seven), right? Let them use a marker! They are freaking out and “melting down” because they are pissed. And the damn blue glue won’t kill them either. Do you really think that Crayola would supply toxic, hazardous and stain-inducing materials for their young patrons to use?

I know I don’t have any children of my own to clean up after, but during the day I am responsible for 20 – 25 youngsters. And it’s just me! No one else there to wipe noses, clean messes, correct papers, or march to lunch, music, gym, or the library.

Here’s my next complaint — stop complaining about taking your kids to public places. As a teacher I can tell you that field trips are much worse! 25 kids and only three adults to corral them. They have to be fed, taken to the bathroom, and shown an educational and enjoyable time – all of which is easier when the adults chill out and let the kids be kids.

So here is my final note on this episode – Jon, step up and put your foot down when it comes to Kate’s obsessive compulsive mandates. And Kate, quit your damn bitching! If you didn’t want to clean up after eight kids, you shouldn’t have had eight kids.

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