When it comes to?‚? relating?‚? to other moms, I realize that there’s a big difference between being?‚? nosy and?‚? judgmental?‚? and being a caring, concerned friend. For example, while the?‚? judgemental mom might make her mommy friend feel guilty for not?‚? properly bundling up her child on an outing to the park in cold weather, the concerned but caring mom would simply offer an extra blanket if she had one to spare.

However,?‚? I often find that the line between being judgmental?‚? and being?‚? concerned is not always so?‚? easy to judge. For example, a few months ago, during one of my son’s playgroup dates, the topic of sports came up among the moms present. One of the new moms, who had just joined the group recently, mentioned that she and her husband love to play tennis and basketball.

“Wow”, I said. “You have time to play tennis and basketball with an infant??‚? That’s great. I haven’t exercised?‚? at all since my son was born. Who watches?‚? your baby while you guys play?”

“Oh,” she said, “no one has to watch the baby?‚? for us because we play with the baby.”

“You play with the baby? What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, it’s easy,” she explained. “I just strap my daughter into the Baby Bjorn and play with her. She loves it. In fact, she usually just falls asleep while we play.”

As I looked around the room at the handful of other moms?‚? listening in to the conversation, I noticed that almost all of their mouths were hanging open. As was mine.

This girl was playing tennis and basketball with her baby strapped into her Baby Bjorn? Was she serious? Hadn’t she ever heard of shaken baby syndrome?

Immediately, I thought to myself, “Could this explain her baby’s listlessness? Could this baby, who was?‚? always very quiet and almost always asleep?‚? during the few outings she had attended with the mom’s group, actually have brain damage because her?‚? mother bounced her around several hours a week playing sports?”

By the time I had wrapped my mind around it, she had changed the subject. But for the rest of that day and for weeks later, it bothered me. Should I say something to her? Warn her about the dangers of bouncing her little bitty 14-pound baby around on the tennis court? Tell her that the bones of?‚? her child’s skull had yet to?‚? completely grow together? Was it possible that she really didn’t know this? I felt compelled to say something.

And yet, something stopped me.?‚? Part of me felt like?‚? it wasn’t my place to say anything. And after all, she is the mother of the baby not me. Plus, I hadn’t seen them playing tennis or basketball. Maybe, somehow, she could play without really moving. Maybe the image of her jostling that baby up and down for an hour three times a week was just me over-reacting and not understanding the situation.

So, I never did say anything.?‚? And in retrospect, I feel a little guilty about it. I mean, if that had been me, and I had been putting my baby at risk without realizing it, I would have wanted another mother to say something to me. It might have hurt my pride at the time, but I would have appreciated it.?‚?

So, now I am just left wondering if her baby is OK. I saw her again recently and was relieved to see that her daughter, now a one-year-old,?‚? appeared normal. But if I had to do it over again, I would have said something. Only I would approached it delicately, and rather than?‚? blurting out, “Are you crazy?!”, which is what I was thinking,?‚? I would have simply suggested the following: “Perhaps you might want to consider taking up a hobby like Scrabble instead.”

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