I’ve always been kind of lame at friend making. I say odd inappropriate things, stutter, twitch…you name it. I’ve also always been a crappy friend, choosing books over girls nights out and only acting nicely when I had something to gain. I think age, and wisdom [ha ha ha] have changed me, kind of. All the ten second intense girl-friendships I had, I wish I still did and I’d love a girls night out! To the bookstore, and don’t follow me around, okay?

But seriously, my daughter and I go for walks if it’s nice out through the park to feed the ducks, and sit around. Sometimes we bring breakfast; a muffin and coffee for myself and cheerios and carrot juice for popette. We sit, and scope out the scene. Early morning is the best time to meet other moms, everyone’s on the coffee-high racing through the park with their kids before lunch time, and eventually…hopefully nap time.  I beam at everyone’s kids, and I beam at moms. I rarely get smiles back…most ladies have a puss on their faces as they speed past me with a bluetooth to their ear yapping away. I catch children’s eyes more than woman my own age, and I make faces and stick out my tongue kind of wishing I were their age again, when the only thing I needed was juice, a couple of toys, and a hugs.

I tried Cafemom, I try other sites, and you know what? Motherhood is like high school. There’s the put together fancy smancy moms with $450 strollers and manicures who won’t give me the time of day because my cardigan’s  covered in baby barf and oops, carrots. Or maybe it’s because I’m young, and odd…my moccasins untied, bruises on my knees from stumbling around in the dark trying to make a bottle, a copy of some feminist rant peeking out of my diaper bag that has owls and birds on it. The moms I do encounter are also freakishly immature, bored and ready to argue about anything at all because they have nothing better to do with their time. I don’t want to argue - I want to talk about poo.

How does a mom make friends?

How did I make friends in high school?

Why can’t, when I do find a neat mom summon up the courage to go “HEY, lets get lunch, I’ve got a kid, you’ve got a kid, we’ve got at least shit in common and maybe you wanna eat a grilled cheese with me and talk about it? Our kid, or something..”

I’m hopeless!

Bookmark to: