Mominatrix Radio is back on the air, and tonight our favorite leather goddess is chatting with the Queen of Orgasms, author and lecturer Lou Paget who’ll share some of her insight to help you get the most bang for your buck in the bedroom (or living room, or public park).

So join us LIVE tonight, October 5 at 9:00 p.m. EST for the lowdown on getting your button pushed, so to speak. The Whipping Boy accidentally got a ball gag stuck in his mouth so he’ll be working the chat room and this sexy mom will be filling in on the air in his stead. AND WE’RE STILL GIVING SHIT AWAY! Call in during the show at 646-716-9830 with a question or perhaps your little tip for getting your “oh face” on and you can win a tin of fabulous handcrafted lube courtesy of this enterprising lady.

If you don’t feel like calling, you can send a question or comment to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com, or check out the nifty new chat feature. Click here to listen/subscribe.

Bookmark to:
   

Our sex goddess the Mominatrix is back on the air and she’s talking toys! No, not the ones you continuously step on in the family room, more of the adult variety. Do moms and dads use sex toys? Is it because of an always present kink, or for a desire to add a little excitement back into the bedroom?

Join us LIVE tonight, August 31 at 8:00 p.m. CST when we’ll give the low down on some of the latest “massagers” currently on the market. We’ll also be joined by guest Racy Red from Mommy Blogs Toronto’s Hot and Bothered to share her views on these little pleasure accessories. AND WE’RE GIVING SHIT AWAY! Call in during the show at 646-915-8634 and tell us about your favorite sex toy and you just might win either a Nexus Duo Range (nsfw) or a $35 gift certificate from sex toy retailer Babeland.com (also probably nsfw, duh).

Click here to listen/subscribe

Bookmark to:
   

Coincidentally, we were just having this discussion on the IP forums, about how low fat foods don’t necessarily equate to losing weight. (I actually said that fatty foods make you fat, and one of veteran members disagreed and is probably right.)

A new study suggests that eating low calorie foods, snacks and beverages may be counter-productive. The thought process and evidence support that when you eat low-calorie foods or drinks that load up on artificial sweeteners, your brain thinks it’s going to be fulfilled and satisfied. When this fails to happen, the body then goes into a state of anxiety, and craves even more calories than if you had just consumed the “non-light” food to begin with.

I have written about this in the past, the fact that “dieting” can put yourself into starvation mode and your body tries to compensate by holding onto its reserves.

I’m disappointed that studies don’t go into fat content. Your body needs some fat — it’s true. Not to be too graphic here, but it helps with elimination and satiety. I lose weight when I cut down on fat, but not if I cut out too much. It’s a delicate balance in which the solution is always most the simple.

Eat healthy. Eat moderate portions. Exercise. Stay away from fake crap. Make good choices.

Bookmark to:
   

Pre-children, I was a mall-rat. I used to love clothes. Not just clothes, I loved jewelry, purses, perfume, shoes – all that girly shit. I could spend hours, even days at the mall. My fantasy was being locked in a mall overnight, Bloomingdales or Nordstrom preferably, with access to dressing rooms without waiting.

So how did I go from looking forward to trying on clothes and flipping through Vogue to find out what the latest trends were for the upcoming season. Now, that’s like the last thing I want to do. It’s synonymous with chewing class and drinking urine. So not fun. So not interesting. In the words of Avril Lavigne, it’s so whatever!

All of this is fine and good. Our priorities change. Our lifestyles change. It is just not that important to look like you don’t have kids. Who are we, as moms, trying to impress anyway?

…and why do I loathe shopping for clothes so much?

Well, for starters…

1. It takes time. A lot of time. Time I don’t have.
2. It takes brain-power. It hurts my brain trying to keep up with whether or not I can wear black and brown together this season. What fabrics go with what? Am I too old or young for this shirt or these pants?
3. It’s expensive. Unless I agree to pay a babysitter a small fortune to watch my children, just for the luxury of spending a large fortune on clothes, I will have to make split-decision fashion choices and right now, I don’t trust my dated fashion sense.
4. Clothes don’t fit me the way they used to. Although I have worked hard to shed some of those unwanted pounds, my body has changed for better and for worse. Even with my weight loss success, I still cannot wear the same size I did pre-children. Women’s clothes, especially jeans, are designed for the bodies of girls stuck in little boy’s bodies. It just seems like a colossal waste of time to try things on and that are too tight, way too long (like every pant and jean) or need to be tailored to the point that you might as well invest in custom clothing.
5. Why bother? All dressed up and nowhere to go. Sometimes I lose my motivation to even care. I tend to gravitate towards those cropped cotton pants and long wife-beaters. What’s comfortable seems luxurious now (all those young girls, you just don’t get it) and reminds of the weekends. I like weekends. I’m talkin’, things that can hold up to a fudgescicle handprint. Although I do have to dress up for work, those clothes are not as comfortable as my updated leisure suits.

Bookmark to:
   

Long time — no ’see’. I have been busy with a new job and positive changes to my life. I’m sure the burning question regarding moi is whether or not I have fallen off the Weight Watchers Wagon™.

Truthfully, its yes and no.

Yes (I have fallen off the wagon), in the fact that I no longer spend as much of my free time on Weight Watchers online and I don’t even feel guilty about it! Conversely, I feel empowered by the choices I’ have learned to make through exercise and eating right. Ultimately, it is a mentality and state of mind. It’s about being healthy, not about looking like the next super model.

Looking better is merely a side effect of being in tune with what you put into your body and caring about your overall health. Of course, it took me wanting to look good to get to this point of food maturity, but feeling good, feeling healthy, having more energy gives me a basic feeling of reward and motivation and what has continued to sustain me.

No (I haven’t fallen off the wagon). I am no longer on a band wagon. I am just making better choices; about food, about life, about personal growth.

Now, lest I sound like Shirley McClain on steroids, this is the first time in my life, or at least since I’ve had children that I’ve felt in control of destiny. I’m sure it’s a combination of chaos falling neatly into place, but it is also because I can now wear clothing that has been locked away for several years. Lucky for me, I have NOT fallen victim to the “Brussels sprouts and carrot juice” diet. I’m simply at a point where I don’t have to count my calories anymore. I damn well know that if I have been good all week, that the occasional donut or two on the weekend isn’t going to hurt me, likewise, if I’ve been falling victim to the ‘buffet of sins’ at my office, I will skip the donuts on the weekend.

Fairly easy stuff. It only takes a moment of thought to gain control again. I am just too old to not care anymore. I want to be around for my children when they graduate high school and I want to have the energy and stamina to keep up with their young journey.

To health and wellness!

Bookmark to:
   

It all began with the prospect of a free burrito or burrito bowl at Chipotle. Innocent enough. The manager of Chipotle extended an offer to the company I work for, a marking effort to drum up some business for the new franchise down the street. I hadn’t been to one in years, but some of my co-workers invited me along and from what little I knew of Chipotle, I was confident I could find something that would be on my Weight Watchers plan. Even though I aware they were owned by McDonald’s, I also knew it was full of fresh ingredients, rice, and beans, all low fat alternatives.

Even though I was planning on being conservative and just ordering a salad, I considered this a big treat in comparison to my usual Lean Cuisines. I told the teenager behind the counter that I was on a diet and asked what she would recommend. She suggested the Chipotle Bowl, a burrito in a bowl, minus the tortilla. “The tortilla will kill ya,” she said.

It’s hard to believe that Chipotle is owned by McDonald’s. It just looked and tasted so healthy, and damn was it good! So good in fact, that I went again the next week. How could a salad “bowl” be so tasty? I could eat it everyday. In fact, it tasted so good, I started to become suspicious. I purposely asked for only a pinch of cheese, a smear of sour cream and a smear of guacamole, but something tasted fishy, as in McDonald’s Fish Sandwich caloric nightmare fishy.

That night, I went to look up my Chipotle diet treat, but nutrient and caloric information is suspiciously absent from their website. I had to go to www.chipotlefan.com to get the real scoop and it wasn’t pretty. I was so incredibly shocked by what I found out, I confirmed it on Weight Watchers online database, only to find out, even with my “smears”, we were talking 18 points. I only get 25 points a day!! So, I was eating 2/3 of my daily total on that asshole salad! Dieters BEWARE!!!!

No wonder I was stagnant with my weight loss. I was going on two or three weeks without a change, until this week, when I’ve lost another 4 pounds. My experience demonstrates how you can’t just assume something is low calories or low fat, you really need to do the research and read the labels.

Total loss since January 1, 2007 — 19 lbs. (I just couldn’t push it to 20, but close enough!)

That being said, I submit new pictures:

continue reading…

Bookmark to:
   

Ha! Last week Weight Watchers scolds me for losing too much weight in one week (3 lbs.), so I take it in stride and follow the same path since increasing my calories did not seem like the most level-headed approach.  I know for sure I’m not starving myself. This week, my weigh-in proves more erratic with a 1 lb. weight gain. Weight Watchers responds with this smiley —–> .

WTF, neutral icon? (You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.)

Of course, Weight Watchers was quick to point out that ups and downs are part of the natural cycle of losing weight. I’ll see your natural cycle and raise you a menstrual cycle. It’s all very easily explained. Last week was the infamous “week off”, so I wasn’t retaining as much water. This week, I forgot one of those little, tiny, sacred, heavenly wonder-pills and wound up doubling up on one day (two boys are enough!). A very good explanation if I do say so myself. I will not be weakened by aunt flo and contraception.

So, no pictures this week. Next week, I promise!

Bookmark to:
   

What do you want from me Weight Watchers?

I lost another 3 pounds this week. Thank you. Thank you. My pride and joy was soon squelched by a scolding downer when Weight Watchers proclaimed in a from response to me, on the very site I proudly entered in that 3 pound loss and charted it, that I was losing weight too rapidly. Three pounds is too rapid?? Give me a big, cellulite break!

They claim that “rapid” (again, I don’t think mine is rapid, especially given my weight), affects menstrual cycles and puts you at risk of gaining your weight back. They suggested that I increase calories. Well, now you’re talkin’! I think I definitely will be on board with that!

Quaker Oats Express Oatmeal is my new favorite snack food, and only has 3 points. I have it for lunch on Thursdays because that is veggie pizza night and I need to have a low points lunch.:

YUM.

Bookmark to:
   

Okay, this is gonna be short and sweet this week because I have a lot going on and I’m really, really hungry this week. My body is definitely going into some sort of weird deprivation shock and not liking it, plus I was sick last week and didn’t exercise — again. Can’t it just hover above arctic temperatures long enough to allow me to get well? Is that too much to ask? Can I have some global warming love here in Chi-town?

I lost another 2 lbs. in spite of my misery.

My “diet” food pick of the week is only 1 points and it is a little zinger-like, slice of heaven. The lemon ones rule. I don’t normally like lemon, but it’s a love-fest between me and those 1 point miracles. The carrot cake is really good too, but a tiny bit dry. The chocolate tastes like ass. Stay away from the chocolate.

We’ve been getting them at Target and the local grocery when they’re not sold out. Stock up if you find ‘em. They’ve been catching on. So buy some. Today.

[Ed. note: I think it’s worth pointing out in this era of “pay per post” that Jessica’s opinions and suggestions are sincere — while she was provided a Weight Watchers membership for review purposes, no compensation has been received or offered.]

Bookmark to:
   

Wow, has it been 6 weeks already? Time flies when you’re starving yourself.

Good news to report this week, I worked successfully through first plateau and lost another 2 lbs.!!! Since the weather has been too cold for walking, I used my stationary bike 3 times last week for 20 minutes per routine. I credit the varied exercise in getting over the prior weeks weight stand still.

At a birthday party I attended yesterday, I passed on the pizza (which was good Chicago pizza, not little kid, sweet spaghetti sauce pizza) and waited until we left at 2 pm to stop for a Wendy’s salad. The big obstacle there was - learning how to have fun (a challenge on a good day with my family as it is) while not eating the sweets and pizza and goodies that surrounded me, but I did it.

So, this week I thought I would bring you one my favorite fun snack “diet” foods or the foods/drinks I’m using as tools to achieve my weight loss success. In a way, this is a good time in modern history to be on a diet with all the improved “diet” food and drinks we have to choose from. I will try to feature a new suggested food item each week.

My first pick is Aquafina’s flavored waters and ALIVE water with antioxidants and vitamin B.

I’ve only tried the raspberry flavored water which contains:

0 calories / 0 fat / 0 carbs / 0 sugars / 130 mg sodium per bottle

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve cut out sweets in general and indulging in whatever I wanted, but since I found out about this delightfully tasty water, well, it might as well be  cookie. Perhaps I am deprived, but it tastes like candy it’s so damn good!

For people that don’t drink a lot of water, I urge you to try it, and no, I have no vested interest in Aquafina, I just think they are geniuses of sweet tasting water. (Okay, now it’s starting to feel like 6 weeks.)

They also make another, which Prescott has taken a keen liking to:

The Aquafina ALIVE, which is the same flavored water, but with the vita-water craze infused with it. I’ve tried the berry pomegranate and it was super yummy as well.

They’re a little expensive, about twice the price as regular bottled water, but I only drink one a day, so fear not, my kids may still go to college after all.

If you try ‘em, let me know what you think.

Bookmark to: