Does anyone have an ETA on when Green’s 15 minutes of fame will be over recycled, because I am so damn over it already. 

Yeah, I said it.

I love the Earth as much as the next person. I taught the kids to recycle. We separate our plastics. I even hang laundry out to dry. My husband drives a car the size of a pudding cup on wheels (to the never ending detriment of his perceived masculinity). Trust me, we do our part.

Yet, the eco-friendly conservation movement of the moment feels less about saving Mother Earth and more about the next major public relations buzz word. Is Green the new black? Suddenly and seemingly overnight everything from McMansions to toilet bowl cleaning products have “gone green.”  From major Corporations jumping on the bandwagon (A hybrid SUV and Clorox has gone green now? Spare me). Or ways to drum up new business in a flagging housing and construction industry - “you should completely renovate your perfectly lovely home to the new eco-friendly way. Sure it will cost 4x what it should but you’ll save $17.50 per year on your electric bill. Maybe … “  

Cunning little electric cars (with a limited geographic range), mass-transit, and bicycling are all touted as the obvious solution to our transportation needs as we travel the Yellow Brick Road to our zero-carbon-footprint utopia.

Nevermind that only a small fraction of the U.S. population even has access to public transportation or roadways that would be safe and reasonable for people to actually use bicycling for anything more than recreation. Can you imagine putting your 2.3 kids on the back of your bike to run them to the pediatrician? Grocery store? Soccer practice? ( “okay lessee here we’ll balance your gym bag on the handlebars and …” In areas not served by even basic cable television because it isn’t cost effective to run wire on existing poles ”all the way out there,” it seems unlikely that any mass transit authority is going to start making tracks to, well, lay tracks.

Look, I recycle. I don’t litter. I try to be careful but no, I won’t be putting those butt-ugly energy efficient $9 a pop lightbulbs in my chandeliers any time soon. Not to mention (did someone say pop?) that they tend to overheat and melt the covers in some enclosed light fixtures. Are housefires eco-friendly now too?

“Green” as a trend (and annoyingly, a verb) feels no different than a marketing ploy from a host of industries suddenly “greening” conventional products to serve a public that still wants it all — but now wants to feel good about it, too. And that’s a Mother of a problem indeed.  

So how about it? Does a “green” label influence you in any meaningful way? Are you significantly changing your eco-ways for the better? The worse? Or do you plan to just keep on truckin’?

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A study from the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine purports that kids as young as three years old have their perception of taste “physically altered by…branding,” specifically McDonald’s:

Anything made by McDonald’s tastes better, preschoolers said in a study that powerfully demonstrates how advertising can trick the taste buds of young children.

Even carrots, milk and apple juice tasted better to the kids if it was wrapped in the familiar packaging of the Golden Arches.

The study had youngsters sample identical McDonald’s foods in name-brand or unmarked wrappers. The unmarked foods always lost the taste test.

The kids that participated in the study were 63 three to five year olds from low-income families that attend Head Start centers in San Mateo, California. The study author, Dr. Tom Robinson, “believes” the outcome would be the same no matter what the income level of the family.

Sure to spark another shit storm of lawsuits and cries for advertising bans, one person offers a dissenting view:

Pradeep Chintagunta, a University of Chicago marketing professor, said a fairer comparison might have gauged kids’ preferences for the McDonald’s label versus another familiar brand, such as Mickey Mouse.

“I don’t think you can necessarily hold this against” McDonald’s, he said, since the goal of marketing is to build familiarity and sell products.

He noted that parents play a strong role in controlling food choices for children so young.

All I know is I’m heading down to our local Mickey D’s to see if they’ll sell me a box full of wrappers — it finally might be the way I get my kids to eat my tofu and veggie lasagna.

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