My daughter is getting her molars in, and life sucks for both of us. She’s one huge ball of discomfort and has taken to screaming at the top of her lungs OR sleeping during the day…luckily she IS also sleeping at night so I can’t complain there.

And she’s started walking! SIX STEPS, WITHOUT FALLING!  So that leaves me torn because I want her to walk, and run around the yard like a madwoman exploring things, and I kind of yearn for the days when she was sort of a blob that hung out wherever I put her looking around. She’s growing up too damn fast. And what I realize is, the fast your sprout grows the more people ask you “when you are planning on having another..”

What the hell. She’s not even a year old yet! I’m enjoying her little spurts of independence and sleeping through the night. My belly isn’t the size of a deflated softball anymore, and I can drink all the iced coffee I want without worrying about hard wiring a growing fetus for ADHD…so remind me WHY I would want to pop out more kids? I hate how the world works. You find a sweet boyfriend who holds open doors for you, and tolerates your raging OCD and poor domestic skills and people ask if he’s “the one…” than you date for quite some time and people ask “when is he going to pop the big question…” [and no people, I don't mean whether or not it's chinese or Indian]. And than he give you a ring and people ask when the wedding is…prior to getting wasted at your wedding and going on some sort of budget honeymoon they ask when the babies are coming…and not even a year later they want to know when MORE babies are coming.

Can a woman get a break?

Or better yet can you shut the fuck up.

I am not having any babies. I have dogs and kittens thank you. If you want me to have more, hire me a full time mothers helper because I have a job I’m passionate about, and I enjoy sleeping 7 hrs straight a night. I also enjoy recreational drugs and booze so piss off.

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As many of you don’t know, we got a house.

By “got a house” I mean we are renting the home of our dreams with hopes to purchase in a year, or two when the economy may, or may not be sucking so much ass. Before I go off on my rant, I’d like to tell you that our new house has a convervatory for growing pot veggies, and citrus trees [which I already ordered] even in the dead of winter! And it’s got a hell of a backyard for the dogs, and it’s got a pond on the outside of the property and it’s got four bedrooms and fireplaces and it’s in the country. Are you drooling? I am.  It’s also within driving distance to a Borders my book store of choice.

But it has a pool, and we have a baby who’s going to start walking any day, and pretty soon swan diving and practicing her breast stroke.  Everyone’s worried…except us. Pools are dangerous but hell so are puddles if you’re a nine month old.  For the record I *DO* plan on taking safety preclusions so my precious little bean doesn’t drown, so why does everyone ask me what I’m going to “do” about the pool. I’m going to swim in it fuckers what do you think? And so will my daughter because she’s basically a little fish. She loves water, especially splashing mommy in the eyes during bath time.

Am I worried about the pool? Well, I wasn’t until everyone started mentioning that she might drown if I don’t install fences and alarms around it.  One person even gave me the following scenario: My daughter wakes up wondering about her favorite toy [which happens to be dangerously close to our pool], it’s early morning and we are all sleeping so we don’t notice her climb out of bed and out to the backyard where she falls in and dies. Talk about morbid huh? I’m all “oh we co-sleep if she even turns over I wake up to ensure she is alive and well…so the chances of that happening are slim to none…” And what IS it with people and the “no shit” advice?

“Oh, you have a pool, are you sure that’s a good thing…she might die”

We have gotten about four phone calls, seventeen emails and forty nine instant messages concerning our chlorinated mecca and it’s annoying me, can you tell?

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