Oh, and don’t think they haven’t. Those of you that already have a fear of flying might want to stop reading at this point…

The Associated Press is reporting that a United Airlines passenger David Sullivan, while flying from Chicago’s O’Hare Airport to Vermont, awoke from a nap and felt something strange:

“My right leg felt like it was asleep, but that was isolated to one spot, and it felt like it was being jabbed with a sharp piece of plastic or something.”

The second sting came after the plane had landed and the Sullivans were waiting for their bags at the luggage carousel. Sullivan rolled up his cuff to investigate, and the scorpion fell out.

That’s right, a MOTHERFUCKING SCORPION. The airline believes the stowaway probably climbed aboard on the plane’s previous flight from Houston to Chicago. The money quote comes from Sullivan’s wife:

“The airlines tell you can’t bring water or shampoo on a plane,” Helena Sullivan said. But the scorpion did make it aboard, she said.

Note the lack of quotation marks on the second part of that — I’m guessing it’s because she used a bit spicier language than what was reported. Well, at least I can fly in ease because I’m sure it’s an isolated incident…HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Scorpions are the new snakes are the new sharks! Does Al Gore’s global warming scare include a mass animal revolt? Or is this merely a brilliant viral marketing campaign for “SoaP 2″?

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