One routine debate that comes up on The Imperfect Parent forums quarterly is the introduction of gay lifestyles into the  public classroom. The debate is contentious and emotional and almost always ends with name-calling.

Dennis Prager, a conservative radio show host, contends that the gay marriage debate will be a defining factor in our nation, one that further separates and divides us much in the way abortion has. In some ways, it’s even more divisive, but the issue is not solely owned by the conservative movement. Given that 9 stated voted on banning gay marriage and only one moved not to, it is becoming clear that conflicting beliefs span over party lines.

It’s been my experience that more liberal leaning parents tend to side with integrating gay/bi/trans issues into early education, even as early as preschool; as a means to teach tolerance. My experience also tells me that more right leaning parents are opposed to it, arguing the rights of parents to introduce these types of issues and using tax dollars to what they see as indoctrination of children. While the deciding votes may be left up to the moderates, it becomes a heated debate in which people cannot help themselves from issuing personal attacks against each other.

In the recent past, news stories have surfaced about “diversity programs” in which young children in public schools read books that feature two dads or two moms, or organizations, designed to spread positive feeling and viewpoints about gay/bi/trans people. It usually makes news when a parent protests and asks why there wasn’t an opt-out program or why they weren’t informed and lastly, why this is part of the natural academic curriculum. These parents are either chastised or praised, according to ones personal beliefs.

This issue is still such that we are in the throws of determining a general consensus and a cultural and societal position on gay marriage, it’s no wonder it always become so explosive and heated. More and more, it is becoming about the norms that are mandated by the government and imposed on children. Children become the pawns of the political wars and at what cost? If we agree that there needs to be clear division of church and state, can we not see that the same of political agendas? Children get caught in the middle of whatever their parents political viewpoints are, which is fine at home, but is it okay at school?

For me, it’s not a matter of gay rights or whether or not alternative lifestyles are moral or immoral, but rather what is appropriate for young children. I also don’t trust schools and administrators (we all know how well American schools are run, right?) to teach a young child a complicated, grown-up matter in a way that preserves a child’s self-identity. In other words – doesn’t confuse them as to what being gay/bi/trans really is. I would rather leave that up to parents to explain to their children, even if that means some parents might pass on values and judgements that I don’t agree with because whether I agree with them or not, that is their right and unfortunately, their children will have to suffer the consequences of those teachings.

In my mind, children need more reading, writing and arithmetic and less responsibility for every-one’s self-worth. I hear small children made fun of by other parents for being naive, instead of celebrating their innocence. Let small children be little for just a little longer. Schools can teach universal acts of kindness and tolerance without expecting them to fight the battles of grown-ups and for that my friends, I am often times accused of being a bigot. You will have to take my word for it, that I am most certainly not a bigot and I wish no ill-will on gay couples or gay individuals, nor do I think they are doing anything wrong. What I do think is that relationships are complicated. Sex is complicated. Life is complicated — too complicated for small children to fully comprehend.

What do you think?

Should gay/bi/trans lifestyles be introduced to children as young as preschool?

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