So, I’d like to clear a few things up.

To My Friends Who Do Not Have Their Own Spawn: I have a child, remember?

To My Friends Who Have Their Own Spawn: It’s OK to have a child AND a social life, remember?

Sadly, these clarifications are sorely lacking in my own social circles.

 My husband and I are at the weird age where some but not all of our friends have kids. We have the friends who have kids and have since year #1 of their marriage. I call them the Parental Posse. You know the kind–get married, get pregnant right away, forget all semblance of their twenties and/or fun and/or a life outside of their kids. The kind of friends who suddenly re-materialized once we had our own Blessed Event. These are the friends who only want to do things like go to the park or a baseball game. Which I’m all for–if there’s beer and a babysitter. But no, these friends can only participate in activities involving their own little miracles. And can’t ever meet you for dinner because they “Can’t find a babysitter” or “Little Susie has the flu” or “I’m attached to my child at the hip and can’t possibly function with other adults on a level not involving discussions about my child’s bodily functions.” (OK, the last one was mine.)

We also have plenty of the polar opposite: friends who are either single or married but have no desire to have children, at least not anytime soon. Our Drinking Buddies. These are the kinds of friends who ask us what we’re doing AFTER the bars close. As in, 2:00am. What our plans are. And snicker at how we’ve “changed” when I gently remind them that children don’t understand they need to sleep in on Saturdays when Mommy has a real bad red wine hangover. These are the friends who suggested we take Ryan, as in our eight-month old Demon Child, to a movie starting at 9pm on a Friday night. Want to know which movie? “No Country For Old Men.” Although Ryan is a huge fan of Cormack McCarthy’s books, “The Road” being his favorite, I think the other moviegoers would’ve chased me out with torches.

So, we can’t win. We are proud that we are able to make it out to a bar and people either snicker when we leave at midnight or they clutch their own children tightly, roll their eyes and whisper about how we’re trying to reclaim our youth. And I’m fine with that. It’s a balancing act and I’m thrilled I’ve been able to stay on the tightrope so far.

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