That’s right, I voted. Big fucking deal, right?

Maybe it is. After six years of being constantly served heaping, steaming piles of voter disenfranchisement, stolen elections and vote fraud, with a sprinkling of Cristina’s latest report of election shenanigans on top, my expectations were pretty low. As if all that were not bad enough, our county just added computerized voting machines, and I happen to live smack in the middle of our Good Ol’ (soon-to-be-former) Speaker of the House’s congressional district. If anyone would be expected to turn into this guy (by the way, kudos to him — a lesser man would have just used a large rock; the cat paperweight was an extremely nice touch), it was me.

As I strolled to the polling place, I kept watch for burly politicos trying to block my path. After ducking behind a mailbox to avoid a suspicious looking Republican type (he was wearing an expensive tie and kicking a puppy), I was able to avoid confrontation and made it inside. I had only made it a few steps when I was immediately confronted by a tall, elderly gentleman. Surely he was about to ask me for 5 forms of identification, one of which I would undoubtedly not have, and I would be sent on my merry way. But no, he merely asked if I was familiar with the new voting machines and how they worked (I was). I was then directed to a table of more elderly folk, whose only offense was breath reeking of coffee and donut holes.

So far, so good, and I made my way to the last hurdle in my democratic process, the electronic voting machine. I entered my access code, and waited for the machine to say, “You’re done! Thank you for voting a straight ticket!” But it did not. I selected my choice for each race (a hodgepodge of Democrat, Republican, and blank write-ins), it let me confirm those choices on the screen, and again on the printed paper trail. Success! I marched outside, patting the little “I Voted” sticker on my chest, and was proud that democracy had triumphed, at least in my little neck of the woods.

What does this prove? Absolutely nothing. But it does, perhaps, make a statement that instead of counting on Nancy Pelosi to solve all of our troubles we should lean a little heavier on our local government, and maybe we can restore America’s confidence in the election process one county at a time.

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Considering that we’ve made it our mission here in America to spread “democracy” far and wide throughout the world, you’d think that our country’s electoral process - arguably the most fundamental of all democratic processes - would be running smoothly. You’d think that there wouldn’t be any “funny business” going on that might, say, cast some doubt as to whether our elections are conducted fairly.

At least that’s what I’d like to think. Unfortunately, I have been hearing more and more about the underhanded, and?‚? seemingly illegal, practices that are conducted to suppress voters.

There are so many shocking examples, I don’t even know where to start. Here are a few:

• In California, Tan Nguyen, a Republican candidate running for Congress, has admitted that one of his staff members sent out up to 14,000 letters to newly registered Latino voters, telling them that it is illegal to vote if they are an immigrant. Not an illegal immigrant. An immigrant. I guess Governor Schwarzenegger better stay out of the voting booth this year then, eh?

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• In Florida, early voting has revealed a “small little glitch” with the electronic voting machines. Apparently, after some voters selected a Democratic candidate, the computer registers that they voted for the Republican candidate. I know you think I’m joking, but I’m totally serious. This was reported in the?‚? New York Times today. Apparently, the elections officials in that county don’t really see it as a problem because as long as voters complain, an elections official can come into their voting booth (forget the violation of privacy here) and fix the computer for them. That’s if the voter realizes what has happened. And that’s a big if as far as I’m concerned.

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• Around the country, Republican campaigns have been “robocalling” voter households with pre-recorded anti-Democratic messages that have made many voters believe that the call is being made by a Democratic candidate. (i obsess linked to several good articles on this in her post today.) Because the calls are made to the same voters repeatedly and because voters often hang up before it becomes clear that the call is not actually from the Democratic candidate, many annoyed voters have called Democratic headquarters offices to complain and, in some cases, voters have even threatened not to vote for the Democratic candidate who they believe is making the calls.

Want more examples that will piss you off??‚? Read the transcript from Amy Goodman’s interview with New York Times columnist Adam Cohen who was interviewed today on Democracy Now!. Learn about how often electronic voting machines break down and how they often contain no paper trails or learn how in Georgia, a now defunct law required?‚? voters to buy an ID card?‚? if they didn’t have a driver’s license - too bad those ID cards weren’t made readily available for purchase.

So, tomorrow is election day, and I have already sent in my absentee ballot. I’m just crossing my fingers that it doesn’t get returned to me for using the wrong color ink. Somehow, that doesn’t sound as preposterous as it did yesterday.

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