When atheists and Christians raise children together, the result is often times competitive and humorous when the atheist tries to squelch the faith that the Christian tries to nurture. My mother, an Evangelical Christian, uses every opportunity to influence our children to the disgrace of their atheist father. Knowing that her Christian-in-theory-and-not-practice daughter and her heathen son-in-law aren’t going to properly “church” her grandchildren, Grandma has taken it upon herself to save them from the wrath of darkness, evil and hell. She does this, oh-so-subtly, by mailing us Christian inspired merchandise tucked in between other gifts like a t-shirt or toy. One of the recent offerings was a CD of Christian songs sung by a group of children.

My children love this CD, bestowing upon my husband a feeling of helplessness and pure annoyance. Not only does our 3-year-old love to turn it up like it’s Freedom Rock, both our kids sing along with robust glory and without inhibition.

As I said before, I’m a pseudo-Christian (I believe from afar — Sundays are for laying on the couch until noon) so I find this incredibly amusing. Prescott — not-so-much.

One of their favorite songs is Who built the Ark?, a ditty about Noah and his wacky adventures. The chorus is supposed to be, “Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah! Who built the Ark? Brother Noah built the Ark!” Prescott, however, has bastardized the song and worked his influence into an innocent and spiritual moment by teaching the kids new words to the song. We now have kids that, while in public, have no problem belting out, “Who built the Ark? No one! No one! Who built the Ark? No one really built the Ark!”

So, it’s gonna be like that, huh? Wait until I sell Holden on God-camp this summer. We will see who’s able to influence these young minds more.

Bookmark to: