Everytime we visit my brother in law, the kids are in constant need of bladder relief. Yes, they have a pool, in which my children swallow as much salt water as the equivalent of a keg. Yes, they have every kind of beverage known to man and worshipped by children, available in their fridge. No, these things have nothing to do with their frequent restroom trips. Why do they spend the majority of their time at their uncle’s house, copping a squat over the pot? This is why:

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Ever wish you could freeze time, when you’re amid the screaming of children and general chaos that is life, to take a moment for the sake of regaining your sanity? Yeah, me too. Trust me, I’ve tried that remote trick that Adam Sandler did on “Click” and, much to my chagrin, it didn’t work. Hey…it was worth a try! I am well aware that the chaos and ear splitting shrieking that sometimes plague a parent’s day, are the norm. I understand that the high pitched decibels of toddlers mean that our children are healthy and that the chaos is the result of not doubling up on my birth control methods. That doesn’t make it any easier to navigate through the moments that make me want to call CPS and turn myself in for a made up infraction, just to get a day of peace.

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