I am not a morning person. In the morning, if forced to get up at all, I prefer nothing more than silence, and a cup of coffee as big as my head.

I prefer, as a rule, not to be accosted at my bedside by an aggrieved child holding aloft a tiny pearl white speck in a baggie while babbling something about the tooth fairy?

The tooth fairy?

The tooth fairy!

Great. Just when I thought I had a lock on Mother of the Year, I have to go and forget to schedule “the tooth fairy.”

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So, let’s get one thing straight: I don’t really like kids all that much.
 
OK, scratch that.
 
I don’t like YOUR kids that much.
 
I happen to really like my own. Just not yours.

 I happen to think my own child is perfectly hilarious when he farts loudly in public. I think it’s cute when he regurgitates sweet potato puree down the front of his miniature Cubs jersey.  I make others stare at him while I try to get him to make, “This face he made the other night that was so funny…Kevin, jump up and down again and see if he’ll do it…I swear, it was so funny.”
 
I do not think it’s endearing when anyone else’s kid does it. In fact? It’s pretty annoying. Actually? Your kid is bothering me. Please take it out to the car and give it a spanking.

When I was pregnant, I had lunch with a childless friend of mine. A toddler at the table next to us began throwing a temper tantrum, complete with screaming and throwing of toys. My friend rolled her eyes then caught my eye. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

I responded that she shouldn’t be apologetic; I found the child hideously annoying and just because I was having a child myself didn’t mean I suddenly became tolerant of children misbehaving in public. (I should also add I wouldn’t have been nearly as annoyed had the parents properly responded by whispering death threats through clenched teeth while yanking the kid out of the restaurant instead of laughing merrily and continuing to eat their sushi.)

As a parent, I think my child is just the bees’ knees.  I might even think your kid is cute, too.

As an adult, I’d like to enjoy my lunch without the child next to me screaming, “Fie truck! Fie truck! Gimme fie truck!”

I have to tolerate my own kid throwing tantrums. I shouldn’t have to listen to yours.  Now, I’ll do my part by hustling my kid out of any public place when screaming begins and refusing to submit to “Parent Brain,” a condition in which the second after a child is born the parents become blissfully unaware of any social disturbances little Joey is causing.

In short?

I love my kid. I just don’t have to love yours.

And that’s all which is required of a parent, no? 

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During hour thirteen of my 24-hour quasi-medicated labor, I remember having one distinct thought: There is no way in hell I will EVER do this again.

While I was pregnant, I would often ask women to tell me what labor was like, what a contraction was like. Mostly, they all said the same thing???��???that it was hard to describe what a contraction felt like (you???��?�?d just know when you had one) and that labor wasn???��?�?t really that bad.

They were right about one thing. When I had my first contraction, I sure as heck knew what it was. But they were lying when they said that labor wasn???��?�?t that bad. Or if they weren???��?�?t lying, then they all had some?�? pretty high pain tolerances compared to my wimpy self. Because for me, labor hurt. A lot.

But more than that,?�? it?�? was a dark place. A scary place. A place where I felt helpless, confused, and alone.

Not to say that my labor was uniquely difficult. I had a failed epidural, lots of Pitocin, and contractions that were ineffectual and unusually long, lasting up to 7 minutes. Yet, I know that there are women out there who have had it worse. Much worse. And my intention here is not to compare labors. It is just to say that labor was hard.?�? And I expect that it is hard for many. So if that???��?�?s the case, then why do women tend to?�? sugarcoat it?�? it when they???��?�?re talking to moms-to-be? I think I’d rather have known the worst-case scenario, not the best case.

At one point, the pain was so bad that I remember looking at my husband and pleading for him to do something to help me. I was literally writhing in pain and felt like I was going to completely lose my mind. He was the only one there with me. The only who could possibly help me. And yet, he felt helpless too.

???��?�I don???��?�?t know what to do???��??, he said.

The thing was it wasn???��?�?t his fault; he really didn???��?�?t know what to do.?�? But in that moment, I felt completely, utterly alone. Just me and the pain. It would be 12 more hours until the baby was born.

In hindsight, I realize that my own fear, my own helplessness in the situation was making my pain worse. What it came down to was that I was not prepared. Not in the slightest. I hadn???��?�?t read any books on labor techniques. I hadn???��?�?t hired a Doula or practiced my breathing exercises. I hadn???��?�?t demanded that my mother be present during the labor to help us. I had gone through one day of Lamaze class and that was it. I didn???��?�?t fully realize what I was headed?�? for or really respect the process I was about to undertake.

Now that 14 months have passed since the birth of our son, I???��?�?ve finally reached the point where I feel that I can do it again, and?�? recently?�? we???��?�?ve decided to start trying for our second baby.

And I have no problem admitting that I???��?�?m scared as hell. But we???��?�?re going for it anyway. Only this time we???��?�?ll be more prepared. We have to be.

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As an infant feeding, pro-choice advocate I think this is great news.

Apparently, 90% of Philippine women currently formula feed their babies, and although that is a pitiful statistic, education is the key here, not prohibition of infant formula. The Philippines also suffer from one of the worst infant mortality rates, much of it blamed on formula use which has been blamed for diarrhea caused deaths. On the other hand, America also has one of the worst infant mortality rates, and depending on who you ask, a plethora of causes are cited, depending on that persons particular agenda. I have heard the large infant mortality rate in the U.S. being blamed on formula as well, and it just isn’t true.

In industrialized nations, a woman ought to be allowed to decide whether or not to use her body to nourish her babies or use an acceptable alternative. With both methods, education and medical monitoring should be a part of that baby’s health care. If fresh water is not available to properly mix formula (the number one reason for diarrhea related illness in the third world in infants fed formula), then the government should be educating women on that fact, not instituting infant formula prohibition. Granted, some countries populations cannot support the cost of infant formula, coupled with unclean water, but those populations have major issues outside of formula feeding, and unfortunately, as in HIV infected women, formula is the better option, just not a realistic one. That’s unfortunate, but not the fault of formula itself, but rather the conseqeuence of a poor and uneducated society.

Komfie Manalo - All Headline News Foreign Correspondent
Manila, Philippines (AHN) - Manufacturers of infant formula scored a major court victory Wednesday when the Philippine Supreme Court ordered the government to stop its absolute ban on the promotion and advertisement of breast milk substitutes.

The high tribunal issued a two-page resolution issuing a temporary restraining order against the ban.

The TRO is “effective immediately and continuing until further orders from this court prohibiting and enjoining the respondents from implementing Administrative Order 2006-012 or the Revised Implementing Rules and Regulations of Executive Order 51 or the Milk Code.”

But the petitioners must post a $10,000 bond within five days or the TRO will be lifted.

In May 16, the Palace issued the executive order and said breast milk substitutes or infant formulas “endanger the lives of infants by inadvertently misinforming mothers on their children’s health.”

EO 51 revises the Milk Code which regulates the use of infant formula. Read the rest…

In another part of the world, the world health organization (WHO) has recently revised their infant formula advertisement policies in Africa that restrict formula companies from misrepresenting the product and for health officials to represent formula companies. Seems pretty reasonable to me.

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If it’s good enough for the actors of Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Lost etc., it’s good enough for my kid to slobber all over. Apparently, these little suckers are being given to A-list actors nominees in their Emmy (click here to see who won) goody bags:

Available for purchase and personalization at www.mypacifier.com. Prices start at 3 pacifiers with customized names for $15 — not bad!

Fremont, CA (PRWEB) August 27, 2006 -– Less than a year after coming to America, mommy-invented MyPacifier™ Personalized Pacifiers have gone to top A-list TV actors in celebration of this year’s TV award season as part of the Madison & Mulholland Ultimate TV Nominee Gift Bags.

Madison & Mulholland, the premier VIP gift bag and product placement company based in New York City, prepared Ultimate TV Nominee Gift Bags which are being gifted to top A-list actors including those from ‘24′; ‘Desperate Housewives’; ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ ‘Lost’ and others. The selection of MyPacifier™ for the gift bags shows that it’s not just expensive items that Madison & Mulholland looks for, they also search for the latest unique products that will bring about “oohs and ahhs” from the receiving nominees. MyPacifier™ was fortunate to be selected by Madison & Mulholland as one of the creative new products to be included in their Ultimate TV Nominee Bags. MyPacifier™ Personalized Pacifiers are certainly one of the more affordable items to be included in the gift bags, coming in at a price of only $15 per set of three.

The MyPacifier™ story started when a young mother in Denmark experienced the pacifier swap problem. Pia Callesen, the creator of MyPacifier™, says “When I went to day care to pick up my son Frederik, more often than not I found that his pacifier had disappeared and Frederik had another child’s pacifier in his mouth. I began searching for a pacifier product with a name on it, but I got the same answer in all the shops, ‘buy a permanent marker pen and write his name on the pacifier.’ I thought it should be possible for all parents to buy a quality pacifier with their child’s name engraved on it. Apart from looking good, it could then also survive repeated sterilization.”

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