Miss Teen USA hopeful Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina, gave us a truly unique insight to the future leaders of our country with her intellect and wisdom. She showed the world what a academic marvel America is when she answered the question, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?” (My answer? “Holy shit! What a bunch of dumbasses. How do they manage to even get their shoes on in the morning or remember their way back home? Perhaps the answer is more special ed classes.”)

Oh well, at least she has her looks to fall back on.

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