I have no idea if this story is true, but if it is I no longer hold Britney or Jamie Lynn responsible for any of their actions because they just weren’t taught any better.The latest gossip from Star Magazine has to do with Jamie Lynn Spears noticing she was putting on some weight and begging her mother for liposuction.Her mother not only approved it, but signed all kinds of forms saying that it was OK to perform this procedure on her underage daughter.
All of this supposedly happened when Jamie Lynn was pregnant and didn’t know it.
So, if she’s not pregnant enough to realize that she’s pregnant, she’s probably only a few months along, right?And how much weight could she have possibly gained?AND, even if she gained 10 – or even 20 – pounds WHO JUMPS RIGHT TO LIPOSUCTION?
When your underage daughter comes to you and says “Mom, I’ve gained, like, ten pounds and I really really really want liposuction.Pleeeeeeeease!” how about just telling her to go run around the block?How about seeing a dietitian?How about anything else?
I have reached the conclusion that there should be a questionnaire for the parents of child actors/singers/dancers.If the parents answer yes to three or more of the questions the child will not be allowed to pursue stardom, no matter how talented they are.(I may run for office with this as my platform,I just need to find the time.)
1.Do you still blame your parents for not letting you pursue your dream of becoming a singer/actor/dancer?
2.Have you ever lied about your child’s age to get them into an audition?
3.Have you depleted your savings, college, and retirement accounts in your effort to get your child into show business?
4.Are you convinced that your child is more talented than 99% of kids in show business?
5.Have you ever forgotten the names of the rest of your children?
6.If someone told you that they could make your kid a star tomorrow but you had to sleep with him/her, would you do it?
7.Have you ever fired your child’s coach/trainer/teacher because your child is “already way beyond” anything he or she can be taught?
8.Did you have headshots of your child printed up before he or she turned six months old?
9.Would you let your child drop out of school in order to purse stardom?
10.Have you ever said something to someone only to have them look at you and respond “Good grief.You’re really stupid, aren’t you?”
Even Broadway is being hit by the bad economy, at least that’s what the producers of American Buffalo claim as it was shut down a week after it opened.I, however, have a different theory about the demise of the production.The show starred Cedric the Entertainer, John Leguizamo, and Haley Joel Osment – all good actors in their own right but …the three of them together onstage?It must have been like a soup made out of chicken, clams, and oranges.And no, I will not tell you who the orange is.
Is there some underground contest being held by celebrities to give their kid the weirdest name ever? If so, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and hubby Pete Wentz are definitely in the running. They might even be leading the pack.
The couple’s healthy baby boy was born yesterday. His name: Bronx Mowgli Wentz.
No typos there, kids. The little dude’s name is Bronx Mowgli.
C’mon already. Why, when there are so, SOOO many somewhat normal names out in existence, would two parents willingly choose to name their kid after a New York City borough and a skinny dude from The Jungle Book who was raised by wolves?
Do these people think about what a name does to a kid? What playground bullies may taunt to this unwilling victim?
It’s not only the name. Let’s not forget the initials. When I named my offspring I carefully scrutinized the initials to make sure they wouldn’t provide fodder for mean kids. This little guy’s first two initials are B and M. Yup, B-M.
Even the Duggar family has done better with names, and they’re restricting themselves to ones that start with the letter J!
This name renders me speechless, which says a lot. To borrow a phrase from Dr. Phil: “What the hell were you thinking?”
Forbes just put out its second annual list of Hollywood’s 10 Hottest Tots and staunchly defended themselves in the accompanying article, blaming their need to jump on the celebrity offspring obsessiveness bandwagon on - what else? - the economy.
Oh yes, Forbes was practically forced to provide a list of Hollywood Hot Tots.
I keep getting the same repeat offenders in this blog and Miley Cyrus is back at bat.Her dad, Billy Ray, has issued an open invitation to the Obama girls to appear on an episode of Hannah Montana which I’m sure he is doing out of the goodness of his heart and love for children and NOT for the publicity.
Miley is quoted as saying “I know they have a lot going on, but I think for them to come and hang out with normal kids would be fun.”
Ah, where to begin.
Let’s start with normal.Until their father became President-Elect they were normal and they are probably still a lot more normal than Miley.For comparison: when Miley turned 16 she shut down a major amusement park to celebrate.Malia and Sasha’s father becomes the first African American President-Elect in U.S. history and they get a puppy.Yes, Miley, you are much more normal.
And for now, the Obama girls do hang out with normal kids.They attend the University of Chicago Laboratory School, which may not be as normal as a public school but is certainly more normal than working on a TV show every day with a bunch of temperamental and egotistic actors.Oh, they’re not?Really?Then your show is DEFINITELY not normal.
Next is “a lot going on.”Gee, you think saying goodbye to all of your friends and packing up all of your stuff and being followed around by Secret Service and having everyone ask you if they can visit you in the White House and convincing your mother that you are TOO OLD to wear that dress with the big fat bow at the Inauguration is a lot going on?
Plus, they are 10 and 8 and you, Miley, are 16!I predict the only conversation you could even have would last about two minutes.
Miley:Hi!Welcome to the set!
M & S:Thanks.This is really cool.
Miley:Have you ever been on a TV set before?
M & S:Just every news show that our dad has been interviewed on.And the Democratic National Convention.Which is kind of like your set, only a lot bigger.
Miley:Oh.So.Your dad is going to be President – how cool is that?
I can’t believe I’m about to say this but…poor Britney Spears.
The first time that she is allowed of California with her sons since the incredibly ugly custody battle with K-Fed (who somehow ended up looking like the responsible parent despite ditching a pregnant fiancée when he hooked up with Brit) her youngest son ends up in the hospital with either an allergic reaction or a seizure, depending upon which “news” story you read at what time of day.
Now that Nicole Richie has gone and selfishly had a baby, Paris Hilton needs a new best friend. But what’s a celebrity to do when looking for Miss Right to club-hop with, appear drunken and half-naked in public with, and play not-quite-as pretty second fiddle to her fawning adoration of herself?
So, Barack Obama is our next President and his daughters get a puppy.(Sidebar:Is it a requirement to have a pet when you become President?)Of course the girls, Malia (10) and Sasha (7), were thrilled because they don’t recognize it for what it really is: a bribe to keep them from complaining about all the media scrutiny.
I hope hope hope that the stories of Tom Cruise’s parenting are greatly exaggerated.There were no freaky parenting reports about the children he adopted with Nicole Kidman (though, who knows, maybe Nicole – despite all the Botox and extreme skinniness - was the sane parent) but that was back PJOOC (Pre Jumping On Oprah’s Couch).
If someone doesn’t, she’s going to keep appearing on reality TV shows and rehashing her romance with Barry Williams ad nauseum and I am ready to throw another football at her nose just to shut her up.
How are today’s teenybopper television stars supposed to learn how to morph into actual normal adults when their predecessors are still doing ANYTHING for a buck?And apparently Maureen did do anything for a buck including trading sex for drugs.Did I need to know that?No. Do I really need to know everyone she slept with and every house she passed out in and everything she put up her nose? No, no, and no. Besides, we’ve heard all this stuff before and if you think you can get freak us out any more than we were freaked out when we heard about Greg and Carol hooking up - well, you are wrong my little blonde friend.
It’s not like I expect the actress to behave just like her character.I understand that Marcia Brady is fictional, but why does five years on a television show entitle one to still demand our attention 24 years later?In an interview McCormick said that she has finally accepted her life-long connection with Marcia Brady.Duh!As long as she can still make money off of it, why wouldn’t she accept it?And if she has accepted it, why is her new book titled Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding my True Voice?We know the story; is there a former Brady actor who hasn’t appeared on a reality show? And we’ve heard her true voice, on her second (or third) reality show where she tried to become a Country Star.
I find it quite frustrating when people feel they have “survived” the things that brought them fame and fortune.Why is being a beloved character on a beloved show something that she needs to recover from?You know, maybe those Partridge Family kids didn’t all have the best time making their show either but they are not still in our face about it.
What I’d really like to see is the memoir of Marcia Brady about she managed to keep her legs crossed and her hair shiny while being played by a bulimic hussy.
I must admit I have a tendency to confuse the Lohan and Spears families.They both center around an out-of-control pop tart who ended up driving drunk without her underwear at some point, involve a younger sister that is also being pimped out, and are led by a seemingly clueless mother.One of the mothers sold the story of the younger daughter’s teenage pregnancy to a tabloid for a million dollars and the other mother put her younger daughter on a reality show to “help” her singing career.Please don’t ask me which is which.
Is there no one in either the Lohan or Spears extended family that is willing to step up and stop these women?A simple “Perhaps you shouldn’t take a video crew from Entertainment Tonight the next time you visit your daughter in rehab” would be a start.They could work their way up to “Is another tell-all memoir really a good idea?”
Come on, Lynne (or Dina) has raised a daughter so clueless that when she takes her two and three-year old sons out to dinner she takes them to a steak house instead of Chuck E. Cheese.And not a steak house like Ponderosa where children are expected and high chairs and bibs are ready and waiting and the furniture is vinyl so it can be wiped down easily, but a celebrity chef steak house where other celebrities and naive tourists spend $54 for a steak and $17 on a glass of wine and NO ONE wants to see toddlers flinging their carrots and crying because there are no saltines no matter how big a star their mother is.
The other one’s daughter has been out of rehab for approximately four minutes and in a stable relationship for five (if you define a relationship that has been denied for as long as it has been going on as stable) and NOW wants to adopt a needy child from a foreign country.Do I have to point out the irony?She IS a needy child!
Instead of appearing in those incomprehensible Volkswagen commercials and wearing sleazy outfits on Lipstick Jungle couldn’t Brooke Shields be of more service by offering workshops and support groups for other girls/women whose mothers “managed” them into a career in show biz?Sure, there was that questionable marriage to Andre Agassi, but Brooke has managed to settle down, land a toothpaste endorsement and a new series, and battle Tom Cruise.She’s got some knowledge to share.
I’m SO hoping that MTV has not cancelled the reality series My Super Sweet 16 because those snotty spoiled kids have just had a new bar set for them: Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday by taking over Disneyland, complete with 16-foot tall purple candles, a lengthy fireworks “spectacular,” and enough celebrities (using the term somewhat loosely) marching down the purple carpet to fill Space Mountain.
I can see why all the kids from the Camp Rock movie and some celebs that need a little oomph in their career (Jennie Garth) were there but Steve Carell….why?Even if your 7-year old daughter is a HUGE fan of Hannah Montana, why would you want her to witness this monstrous display of self-importance? (Or call it what it really is, a huge PR stunt by Disney).
Our country is financially falling apart but apparently the 7,000 “guests” thought this was a perfectly acceptable way for a 16-year old star to celebrate her birthday.And I can already hear the whining of some producer’s just-had-her-nose-fixed-and-her-boobs-done daughter on MTV next season.“Daddy, Miley Cyrus had her party at Disneyland so I want you to take over the entire state of Montana for MY party!That’ll show her!”
In all fairness (though I don’t know why I’m bothering) Miley did share her birthday with Youth Service America, which promotes volunteerism in, you guessed it, youth - and gave them a million dollars.But by next week no one will remember that.All anyone will remember is that an overpaid, over-adored teen actress took over a public attraction for her birthday.And there were fireworks.And she sang.And she looked sooooo cute. And mom can I have giant purple candles for my birthday?Can I?Can I?
If the fathers of these Super Sweet 16 kids were smart (which they are NOT because if they were not only would their children not be spoiled, narcissistic idiots, they wouldn’t let MTV film the entire fiasco so the whole world can see just how bad their parenting skills are) they would tell their girls that if you want to have a party like Miley Cyrus, you have to let Billy Ray perform “Achy Breaky Heart” just like he did at Miley’s party.
I’d like to personally thank Sharon Stone for making me feel like a better parent.In her recently rejected attempt at changing the custody agreement of her 8-year old son, the judge cited Stone as an “overreacting mother” and used as an example the fact that Stone wanted to use Botox to treat her son’s smelly feet.
Just how smelly were his feet?Were restaurants emptying out when Stone and her son entered?Were the neighbors calling the police about possible dead bodies in the house next door?I have a 7-year old son and had no idea that smelly feet were negotiable.He removes his shoes and socks the minute he gets home from school and, while disgusting, it’s been a great help in my attempt to curb my snacking.My 13-year old daughter’s skate bag smells like one of the cats died in it.
What kind of world is Sharon Stone living in that has no bad odors?Is there someone on her staff who fills out the Profession line on their tax return as Odor Removal Specialist?She has two more sons, what the hell did she do with diapers?I’m guessing a Diaper Genie wasn’t enough; was there someone waiting in a running car to take each and every diaper straight to the dump?
Someone needs to tell Ms. Stone (and perhaps the judge just did) that once you have children you lose all rights to being Freakiest Person in the House.You can try, but it’s pointless.And if you’ve somehow created a career out of being a little bit freaky you will be given the child who dips barbecue chips in his chocolate milk, has a repertoire of crazy voices, and poses as a guitar-playing statue in the window at the Hard Rock Café.
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Posted
December 3, 2008 at
12:31 pm by
Stacey 
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November 21, 2008 at
7:20 pm by
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November 10, 2008 at
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