Co sleepers anonymous
Posted
May 16, 2008 at
1:31 pm by
Tracy
So as of Wednesday night I made the decision to cease co-sleeping. My daughter and I have had a good run; she started off in the bassinet pushed so close to my bed she might as well have been in it, and than we moved on to a week or two of falling asleep on the couch together, and finally found our place curled next to each other in bed.
She doesn’t curl anymore though, she moves. She kicks me in my chin and yanks on her fathers nose during the night. She moves from one end of the bed to another, and even though I’ve taken every every safety precaution in the book to ensure she doesn’t fall out and land on one of our animals, I’m still paranoid she’s going to topple off. Weds night my paranoia was so high I put pillows all over the edge of the bed that have straw on them [they’re for our patio set my friends..] so if she moved, the straw would crinkle, waking me up. It was like, a baby booby trap.
Last night I was determined to stop co-sleeping. During the day I figured I’d seek out advice on how to go about doing this, because people tell me once the little ones get used to sleeping in a big bed next to mommy and daddy it’s impossible to get them into the crib. When we got home from my mothers house it was late, and so I just plopped her down, threw her favorite blanket on top of her, and after mumbling shh shh little Junebug shh, I crept out. I crept out, ate some cake, and went to sleep wondering when I’d be getting up.
Fast forward to 5am when I wake up on my own. My first thought was “holy shit! she slept!” and my second thought was “holy shit, she’s alive right…” She was. I actually went to check on her and woke her up. And when she woke up we snuggled in bed together for two more hours. But [and pardon my overuse of holy shit..] but really, REALLY? She slept awesome and alone in her baby jail!
I’m pretty proud of her, but I am going to miss her middle of the night assaults, really I am.
Tags: co sleeping, cosleeping, cosleeping nine month old, nine month old
Domestic bliss
Posted
May 12, 2008 at
2:21 pm by
Tracy
I’ve got a confession. I’m getting married on Sunday.
I refer to my domstic partner as my husband because it’s easier than typing “oh my domestic partner was all, yeah let me change that poo diaper and THAN give you a back rub!” It’s easier that explaining what the hell a domestic partner IS. I’m not even sure, but I know it gives us health insurance and is exactly like being married [complete with pointless dramatic fights about who does the dishes] minus the paper. I ENJOY being domestic partners, and if it were up to me I’d float around in my domstic partner shaped bubble oblivious to things like dress fittings where you’re told to “not get any fatter…” and arguing about whether to sit divorced parents near each other.
But everyone wants to see us married, sort of like they want us to baptize our daughter so you know, we don’t end up in Limbo or hell, or wherever we will go. I agreed to do it, fine, and my father with all his alcoholic guilt is paying for a large wedding, a large wedding we are not prepared for. We have the centerpieces, the flowers, the menu, the seat charts, I even lost 2lbs [actually, I may have gained it back at Mothers Day brunch] but um, we didn’t get our marriage papers yet, and we still have no one to marry us. I’m all for an afternoon in the court house wearing a comfortable sundress, but I’ve been threatened by members of my family that that shit ain’t going to fly. It’s my fault too, for procrastinating but I don’t see what the big deal is?
See, my families lovely. Whether we are domestic partners, or husband and wife. To me, my partner IS my husband. He’s my love, and my best friend. We are more happy than people I know who are getting married, or already have done so! I want to keep my last name anyway, I want to have a party with endless Shirley temples and pink rose petals as partners, and the creators of the most beautiful little cherub in the world. I don’t want to scream at husbandpartnerdude because we BOTH are procrastinators and waited to long to do this, I don’t WANT to think about our parents [both sets] who have chosen to either hit the road, or get re-married sitting next to each other, and feeling awkward the entire time. I just want to be happy.
They are bursting my little bliss bubble. This is the imperfect wedding.
Are you married?
Tags: domestic partners, domestic partnership, engagment, getting married, love and marriage, marriage Eighteen is the new three
Posted
May 9, 2008 at
12:17 pm by
Tracy
I’m sure everyone knows about the Duggars; the family with seventeen kids? They had a show on Discovery [I believe]? Anyway, momma Duggar is pregnant again with her eighteenth kid. WHAT THE HELL? Is all I can think…And according to the article I read they will keep having kids as long as god lets them. My first thought was “whoa how do you have sex with seventeen kids around?” The youngest is nine months.
Now, I’ve got a problem with this. I’m sure I’ll get crapped on by the religious folk but I personally feel it’s not God’s Will for this woman to have a slew of children it’s her lack of birth control and some awesome eggs n’ sperm. God also gave us brains so we can control our cycles for those who think birth control is evil. I personally think popping out kids like it ain’t no thing especially with the state of our country is sort of demented. I think having eighteen kids is just as bad as someone who can’t afford to have more kids, having them one after another. Without the Discovery channel show, and donations would they be able to live in a 7,0000 square foot home? I don’t think so. And why should we have to donate, and pay for someone that doesn’t believe in birth control?
Do the children get all the attention they deserve? All the nurturing? It’s physically impossible for a mother to tend to seventeen children…do the older kids end up with the grunt of the child care, and house work? Is the mother REALLY happy that she’s been pregnant for 135 months in her life? Does she really think that god put her on this planet to give birth over, and over, and over again? Is that all woman are to do? Have sex, give birth, and mother children?
What are your thoughts?
Tags: duggars, The Duggars, the duggars 18th child MD, it’s not just for doctors
Posted
May 5, 2008 at
2:28 pm by
Tracy
I’ve got Mothers Day questions and you imperfects BETTER give me answers!
What should I ask for?
Mothers Day might be a hallmark holiday but people, people there’s no way in hell I’m turning down the opportunity to ask for treasures. No. Way. I need help deciding which one of wishes [thus far] should take priority. And please do share our Mothers Day “traditions” cause’ being a first time momma I’m interested in stealing ideas for the years to come. Three cheers for milkin’ mothers day!
MD Wish list:
1. No poop diapers for a week. Originally I was going to say “no changing a poo for the day” but that’s ONE load, and far too small of a gift…that’s more of a favor actually. A week is seven dumps, which is the perfect amount to be considered a present.
2. Clean up after dinner. No more eating and running back to your computer sucker…me and the kid will be in the living room while you deal with the mess. This is worth three dinners which is probably the amount I cook per week.
3. Sleep ins every Saturday for the rest of my life.
I honestly can’t think of any more. I mean, besides a billion dollar gift card to Amazon for books, yes that’d be nice but I think I’m pretty happy, except for you know shit, messy kitchens, and lack of sleep apparently.
Tags: md, mothers day, mothers day wish list Good Advice gone bad
Posted
May 2, 2008 at
2:09 pm by
Tracy
As many of you don’t know, we got a house.
By “got a house” I mean we are renting the home of our dreams with hopes to purchase in a year, or two when the economy may, or may not be sucking so much ass. Before I go off on my rant, I’d like to tell you that our new house has a convervatory for growing pot veggies, and citrus trees [which I already ordered] even in the dead of winter! And it’s got a hell of a backyard for the dogs, and it’s got a pond on the outside of the property and it’s got four bedrooms and fireplaces and it’s in the country. Are you drooling? I am. It’s also within driving distance to a Borders my book store of choice.
But it has a pool, and we have a baby who’s going to start walking any day, and pretty soon swan diving and practicing her breast stroke. Everyone’s worried…except us. Pools are dangerous but hell so are puddles if you’re a nine month old. For the record I *DO* plan on taking safety preclusions so my precious little bean doesn’t drown, so why does everyone ask me what I’m going to “do” about the pool. I’m going to swim in it fuckers what do you think? And so will my daughter because she’s basically a little fish. She loves water, especially splashing mommy in the eyes during bath time.
Am I worried about the pool? Well, I wasn’t until everyone started mentioning that she might drown if I don’t install fences and alarms around it. One person even gave me the following scenario: My daughter wakes up wondering about her favorite toy [which happens to be dangerously close to our pool], it’s early morning and we are all sleeping so we don’t notice her climb out of bed and out to the backyard where she falls in and dies. Talk about morbid huh? I’m all “oh we co-sleep if she even turns over I wake up to ensure she is alive and well…so the chances of that happening are slim to none…” And what IS it with people and the “no shit” advice?
“Oh, you have a pool, are you sure that’s a good thing…she might die”
We have gotten about four phone calls, seventeen emails and forty nine instant messages concerning our chlorinated mecca and it’s annoying me, can you tell?
Tags: bad parenting advice, drowning, infants, nine month old, parenting advice, pools and infants, water and infants Socially retarded
Posted
May 1, 2008 at
3:17 pm by
Tracy
I’ve always been kind of lame at friend making. I say odd inappropriate things, stutter, twitch…you name it. I’ve also always been a crappy friend, choosing books over girls nights out and only acting nicely when I had something to gain. I think age, and wisdom [ha ha ha] have changed me, kind of. All the ten second intense girl-friendships I had, I wish I still did and I’d love a girls night out! To the bookstore, and don’t follow me around, okay?
But seriously, my daughter and I go for walks if it’s nice out through the park to feed the ducks, and sit around. Sometimes we bring breakfast; a muffin and coffee for myself and cheerios and carrot juice for popette. We sit, and scope out the scene. Early morning is the best time to meet other moms, everyone’s on the coffee-high racing through the park with their kids before lunch time, and eventually…hopefully nap time. I beam at everyone’s kids, and I beam at moms. I rarely get smiles back…most ladies have a puss on their faces as they speed past me with a bluetooth to their ear yapping away. I catch children’s eyes more than woman my own age, and I make faces and stick out my tongue kind of wishing I were their age again, when the only thing I needed was juice, a couple of toys, and a hugs.
I tried Cafemom, I try other sites, and you know what? Motherhood is like high school. There’s the put together fancy smancy moms with $450 strollers and manicures who won’t give me the time of day because my cardigan’s covered in baby barf and oops, carrots. Or maybe it’s because I’m young, and odd…my moccasins untied, bruises on my knees from stumbling around in the dark trying to make a bottle, a copy of some feminist rant peeking out of my diaper bag that has owls and birds on it. The moms I do encounter are also freakishly immature, bored and ready to argue about anything at all because they have nothing better to do with their time. I don’t want to argue - I want to talk about poo.
How does a mom make friends?
How did I make friends in high school?
Why can’t, when I do find a neat mom summon up the courage to go “HEY, lets get lunch, I’ve got a kid, you’ve got a kid, we’ve got at least shit in common and maybe you wanna eat a grilled cheese with me and talk about it? Our kid, or something..”
I’m hopeless!
Tags: finding mom friends, mommy and me, motherhood Play time
Posted
April 30, 2008 at
7:38 pm by
Tracy
There’s a lot of fun stuff I want to do with my daughter. I’ve got an incredible [if I dare say so] book collection growing for her, and I want to do tons of crafts…in fact I go to Michaels about once a week and buy ribbon and Mod Podge and buttons for projects. Am I lame? Perhaps. And perhaps my daughter will want to play soccer and hate books and ribbon and weird buttons and I will be bummed but I guess I’ll be mommy goalie, or defense, anything her little heart desires.
But right now? Right now her interests include: putting things in her mouth, falling and hitting her head on things, crawling at record speeds around our home, getting stuck under coffee tables, putting the cat in headlocks, dog bones, and giving me heart attacks. She can get into a good Touch and Feel book for 30 seconds at a time, and sometimes if I do funny voices and act-a-fool she’ll giggle. We went to the zoo and spent a good deal of time in front of the fish tanks We also enjoy shopping. Paige is perfectly content making goo goo eyes with strangers in the mall if it means I’m pushing her around all day and providing her with apple strawberry Gerber Stars and carrot juice.
But I got to let it out folks.
I don’t like playing with my daughter. Touch and Feel’s are cute but I can’t read “Zoo’s Who” over and over again without thinking about my email. I can only feign enthusiasm for the fish in the tank a few times before I realize I’d rather be reading the new novel I have sitting on my desk. I like to go to the park and feed the ducks but I don’t like watching my daughter like a hawk so she doesn’t put branches and bugs into her mouth. I feel horrible about this, really and truly. I want to be super mom and get psyched about everything. I want to crawl around the floor all day enthralled to be picking up dust bunnies before my daughter can get to them. In fact, I want to be the kind of mom that gets rid if dust bunnies before they even happen even with a dog, cat, and shag rug.
But I can’t.
And for the record, I’m really glad she’s sleeping, where’s my book?
Tags: child rearing, Humor, nine month old, playing with infant One is enough.
Posted
April 22, 2008 at
12:06 pm by
Tracy
Phil and I were in the car chatting about what would happen if I got pregnant again and without doubt I told him I wouldn’t want another baby. I think I shocked him. Yes, at some point in my life I might want another child, and might even become enthusiastic for sleepless nights and little time to myself but not now, not right now. Right now I have an active almost nine month old, a small pathetic writing career, a good amount of sleep, a body that I’m slowly getting comfortable with, and sanity. I was an emotional wreck when my daughter was a newborn, so why would I put myself through that.
Am I a selfish person for not wanting to shoot babies out one after another? Is it selfish I want to concentrate on ME and MY writing and watching MY one little daughter grow into a little person? Truth be told I don’t give a shit. I’m happy now, and I know getting pregnant again would make me miserable. I think I shocked my husband. I don’t know what he thought; I complain about motherhood at least 10x a week and yet I do adore it, but I am not multiple material.
I said to him, when Paige asks how she was concived I can tell her with love, red wine consumption, and joy. I wouldn’t want to give birth to a child I will resent. And yes, call me awful but I think I would resent it. For all the love I would probably feel a tiny part of me would be miserable, and I don’t want to have to say, well you were a mistake, I didn’t really want another baby but I had you because I felt it was the thing to do since Daddy and I love each other most of the time.
Awful? Maybe.
But I don’t care, I love being mom to one.
Tags: family, I only want one baby, one child, single child household Dear Paige:
Posted
April 21, 2008 at
4:52 pm by
Tracy
Mommy is sleep deprived popette. Quarter to five ain’t a good wake up time. 6am? Sure, lets do it…but if it’s dark out you better think twice before grabbing my nose and poking me in the eyeballs. Yes, I know we co-sleep and I probably deserve the smacks and pokes but you know what? IT WAS QUARTER TO FIVE. You know you you love listening to birds chirping. They weren’t this morning…wanna know why? It was too goddamn early. So why did you think it was okay to start laughing and assaulting your father and I? Did you REALLY need to bite daddies nipple to try and wake him up? Weren’t kicks to the rib and cackling enough?
And now you’re at Grandmas for the night. And I miss you, you’ve been gone for about three hours. Why is it I daydream about free nights like this and when they come I sit around eating chicken salad, doing laundry, contemplating going to sleep so I can wake up sooner to see you tomorow thus starting the cycle of getting annoyed/wanting you at a sitters/missing you.
The world will never know.
Go to bed,
Love mommy
Tags: Entertainment, family, Humor, infant sleep habits, letter to my daughter I’m on fire, and now I’m getting ready to post a blog..
Posted
April 16, 2008 at
1:56 pm by
Tracy
My parents were smokers. Whenever I’d go and stay at the pristine palace that was once my Aunts yellow ranch home she’d wrinkle her nose in disgust when she opened my suitcase complaining that my stirrup stretch pants reeked of smoke. I was often humiliated, and made sure to fake cough and gag my brains out whenever my parents lit up.
Fast forward to high school, when I started smoking because I thought I was awesome. I really honestly can say I’m a social smoker. Sometimes I crave them so bad I would kill a kitten for a Camel and sometimes I am disgusted by everything ciggie. When I got pregnant I became the anti-smoking Nazi and demanded my husband quit [he did], and anyone that smoked within a ten foot radius of me would get an earful of four letter words. Than I had my kid. And I realized how easy it would be to just smoke one! A DRAG! If I happened to have a night out. And I did! And sometimes I do. My husband and I are like little children taking two drags and putting it out making a “why did we even go there…?” Face
But NEVER in front of my daughter. My eight month old can not smell like an ashtray. I once smelt a babies hair who had smoker parents and it made me want to sob. Babies shouldn’t smell like smoke, they should smell like soap and goodness. So yesterday while I was enjoying the sunshine outside of a store with Paige, waiting for my husband to scoop us up a woman strolls over with her tiny infant, sits down, and lights up.
I’m not a snob…..okay, I have snot tendencies but generally I’m a nice person. Smoking in front of a tiny baby? Not needed! Just WAIT! Wait until you aren’t sharing the same breathing space as your child! I feel the same way when I see a mom cruising down the road in a stroller smoking, or when I see a parent smoking in the car…
IT DRIVES ME WILD.
Tags: smokers, smoking in car with child, smoking in front of baby — Next Page »
Entire Blog