I have two children. My oldest daughter is a “color outside the lines” type of kid. My younger daughter is a “color inside the lines” type.

Both girls are bright but my “outside the lines” kid has a difficult time in school. It’s not that she’s not smart—it’s that she learns and processes information in a way that does not get rewarded in the classroom. My “inside the lines” kid is quite a creative thinker but she learned early how to play the “school game”. My experiences as a parent, with school and teachers has been a real education.

With my older daughter, my parenting skills have been called into question by the teachers and the school. It’s been that way since first grade. My daughter doesn’t TRY hard enough, needs to get it together. The implication is that she would do better if I was a better parent. It’s not the school—it’s HER. And her parents.

My experiences with my younger daughter’s teachers and school could not be more different.

My parenting skills are praised, my daughter is constantly given praise and positive reinforcement. I am not taking anything away from HER as she is a great kid.

But she is so good following directions and knows the rules of the jungle very well. She has learned how to be a better manipulator. It will serve her well in life but it makes me sad.

I found this essay from a great teacher today. It’s old and most of you have probably read it. The author is John Taylor Gotto and it’s the Seven Lesson School Teacher essay. When I read it, I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

If you parent a kid that colors “outside the lines” you will know what I mean.

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