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Name: Marge

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One is too many.

Posted October 1, 2009 at 11:57 pm by

When Roman Polanski dies, he will not be known for his brilliant films like Rosemary’s Baby or The Pianist.

He will be known as a sexual predator who used his riches and fame to escape the hand of the law.

Yes. It is a shame that such a brilliant talent will go down like that.

A bigger shame is that he’s gotten away with it for so long.

As a survivor of sexual crimes, it makes me ill to see that he’s never fully acknowledged his crime or served the penalty for victimizing a 13-year-old girl.

As a mother of a 5-year-old girl, it makes me sick think that we have not eliminated people like this from society. I constantly worry about someone taking her innocence as mine was.

As a citizen of the world, it makes me nauseous that France and Poland are asking the United States to turn a blind eye to this man’s crimes because they occurred more than 35 years ago.

While time gives us perspective on life, it may not heal all wounds, especially these kinds of wounds.

The irony of the situation does not escape me. Polanski’s mother died in a concentration camp. Would the crimes against his family been more forgivable if they had been at the hand of a brilliant German artist? Are the crimes of the Holocaust any less heinous because they occurred more than 75 years ago? How can he and those that defend him not see this? Of, if they do see it, ignore it and claim that hampering Polanski’s artistic potential is more important than justice for his victim?

Does it matter that Polanski used drugs and alcohol to coerce his victim instead of a gun or a knife?

I’m sorry Whoopi Goldberg and Martin Scorsese. Rape is rape. He took her innocence. He’s gotten away with it. He needs to serve his time.

The only thing that’s more disgusting than people defending Polanski’s actions is the energy that’s been expended on this particular case. How many other children are voiceless victims of sexual predators?

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics:

  • 67 percent of all victims of sexual assault were juveniles
  • One out of seven victims in reported sexual assaults are under six
  • Convicted rape and sexual assault offenders serving time in State prisons report that two-thirds of their victims were under the age of 18, and 58% of those–or nearly 4 in 10 imprisoned violent sex offenders–said their victims were aged 12 or younger.
  • In 90% of the rapes of children less than 12 years old, the child knew the offender.

That should make you sick.

If you’re a parent, think of your child’s class. There are probably 30 or so kids in that room. By the time they finish high school, how many of them will have their innocence stolen by someone they trusted.

We have a choice here. We can keep the spotlight on Roman Polanski and hold him accountable, or we can focus our energies on protecting out kids from people like him. As much as I’d love to see him pay his price,

I have to choose prevention over punishment. One more victim is one too many.

Learn more about what you can do to keep our kids safe at organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America or The Child Abuse Prevention Association or an organization near you.

Unsolicited advice for Jon and Kate

Posted June 23, 2009 at 11:48 pm by

The Interwebs have been aflutter over Jon and Kate Gosselin. Who did what to whom? How much of a role did the cameras play in the disintegration of their relationship? Did their greed compromise their judgment as parents and as life partners? Who cheated on whom? It’s easy to point fingers, especially since they’ve chosen to live their lives so publicly.

I have no great sympathy for their claims that the media should back off, respecting their privacy as a family. When you open your life as they have (and as I have on my blog), you have to take the good with the bad. There will be those that love you no matter what. There will be people who will celebrate every stumble and heartbreak you experience. Others will question everything you do. It’s part and parcel of the deal.

In the end, though, what we have is a couple who is ending their relationship in a very public way. Regardless of my opinions about their relationship and parenting choices, I can’t help but watch their faces and see so much that is familiar.

I saw it months ago, the lack of physical contact, the emotional detachment, the harsh words that were only half-joking. They got further and further from each other. Soon, that interview couch could not have been long enough.

Eyes were swollen. Walls were up. The end was near.
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Holy Lip Gloss Batgirl!

Posted April 17, 2009 at 12:01 am by

When I read this article in Newsweek a couple weeks ago, I had to check the dateline. April 1. Good. You have to be kidding me. This can’t be for real.

It says, “Eight-to 12-year-olds in this country already spend more than $40 million a month on beauty products, and teens spend another $100 million.” $40 million a MONTH on lip gloss, hairspray and glittery nail polish? These girls aren’t even old enough for Clearasil. This is nuts.

The author also cites a report from the folks at Dove that says “42 percent of first- to third-grade girls want to be thinner, while 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of getting fat.”
I’m all for having healthy pretty kids, y’all, but this is getting ridiculous.
Yes, my five-year-old princess loves to be prettified and (thanks to the rules at her school), nail polish must stay hidden on her toes beneath her bleached white socks and plain jane tennis shoes. She can’t wait to get home and swap out her navy sweats for something pink and preferably a dress (no matter what the weather or occasion). I’ve even been known to wrap her blond locks with foam rollers for a Nellie-esque head of ringlets at Sunday mass.

But, make up? No. Not yet. One day, there will be mascara on those lashes and shadow on those lids. That day is a long way in the future. I’m not going to commit to a particular birthday just yet. We’ll see.

So, what is the appropriate age to glam up (beyond dress-up play, I mean)?

Filed under: News & Politics

A tough choice

Posted April 16, 2009 at 1:47 am by

Earlier this week, a morning scan of the headlines drew my eye to this story on CNN’s website. The long and short of it is that a family in Japan is being split up. “Why?” you ask? Because about 15 years ago, mom and dad entered the land of the rising sun illegally, became productive members of society, contributed to the Japanese economy and had a child. Recently mom got busted (the reasons for which are somewhat foggy) and now mom and dad are now in the Philippines…Without their 13-year-old Japan-born, Japanese speaking daughter.

The Japanese government, in it’s mercy, gave the girl a choice. Stay in Japan with your aunt and continue your studies and social development, or leave everything you’ve ever known and go with your parents to a foreign country to start again.

She chose her country. Or at least that’s the way the media’s telling the story.
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Condoms or Piggy Banks? Experts say it’s easier to talk about sex than money.

Posted March 19, 2009 at 1:46 pm by

Over at CNN.com, John D. Sutter is talking about how experts’ observation that the “sex talk” is easier than the money talk for most families.

Really?

Really?!?!

Is it easier to impart basic wisdom to our kids about where babies come from than it is to explain basic concepts of finance?
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"Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault." -- Dr. David M. Burns