Extreme couponing is the downfall of a civilized society. Photo via sdc2027 Flickr Commons photostream.

Hello.

I would like to extend an invitation to every extreme couponer out there. Please feel free to come to my house so that I can kick YOU in the crotch.

You deserve it.

After watching a handful of people who have found an artful way around the system by making a career out of cutting coupon after coupon after coupon on TLC’s ‘Extreme Couponing’, I had to come here and set the record straight on this latest, something for nothing scheme. I was so pissed after watching these self absorbed drains on society that I turned the channel.

Even more obnoxious — was watching them boast about buying tons of shit that they don’t need. That nobody needs and getting it all for free all by putting off everything else in life that’s productive. Talk about failing to be a productive member of society — these extreme couponers are all doing it under the false belief that they are entrepreneurial evil geniuses.

If you haven’t watched the show, it’s a reality series based on people who spend all their free time cutting coupons and matching them up with various grocery store specials to strategically map out where their coupons will garner them the greatest amount of processed crap for pennies on the dollar (if not outright free).

Many of them sift through soiled baby diapers, used tampons and condoms and half eaten sandwiches in various dumpsters to find discarded circulars and sales flyers. After all, one persons skid marks on a toilet tissue square is another persons treasures, right? They take the act very seriously, as if their coupon collecting is a substitute for a noble profession or something. They claim that coupon hoarding requires astute organization and math skills, yet, aren’t even smart enough to figure out that the time they invest into cutting coupons could probably yield them higher cash returns and benefits if they put that time into, oh, I dunno — A JOB!

But why get a job when you and the grocery stores are happily complicit in fraud, right? How are they complicit in fraud you might ask? Well, grocery stores get a ‘kick-back’ from the manufacturer when they accept a coupon, so they love manufacturers coupons and will often overlook restrictions and cater to the effort of couponers, even if it inconveniences other customers.

Also, there’s an ongoing debate as to what the fine print really means. Most coupons state, ‘one coupon per purchase’, but lawyers haven’t come out of any of the manufacturers woodwork clarifying the legal intention of such retrictions. Even coupon sites who ensure that the statement means one coupon per item, there are others who counsel on how to confuse cashiers into believing that it means they can use 10 coupons for 10 same items. In the end, it’s the grocery store’s prerogative to enforce anyway they see fit. You would think if a manufactures intention of circulating coupons was brand awareness and loyalty, they would enforce these restrictions, but alas, the wheels of corporate bureaucracy move slowly.

Furthermore, the vast majority of coupons are for junk food.

It’s a colossal waste. In all the episodes I’ve seen, only one gentleman gave away most of his free stuff to charity, the rest of them kept the crap, even if they didn’t need it. One chick had a spare bedroom full of diapers and had no children and no plans of having children anytime soon. I can tell you from experience in having found a box of diapers that was about 5 years old — diapers do deteriorate and erode over time, so why would anybody be proud of such wastefulness?

Plus, it’s just plain rude. Have you ever gone into a store to buy an item you needed to find it was out of stock? Probably some extreme couponer bought the whole lot so now you have to go somewhere else so they can put their crap on some wire shelf somewhere as if it were some WT trophy or something. Now extreme couponers are affecting everyone and imposing on good people who actually work for a living.

You know what I say?

Eff ‘em. That’s right. Screw them and their stupid notebooks and 10 cart caravans. You suck.