And so its January. The month, for most of us, of ice and cold. It isnt like the lusty month of May because we have no flowers, no sunshine (or little of it) and no balmy breezes.
We DO have frost bitten toes and red cheeks. We also have dry, itchy skin no matter how many layers of body cream we slather on.
It is also the month of my birthday, which I will admit, for perhaps the first 25 years or so of my life, I could get excited about. However, with each passing year, January is just another reminder that I am getting older and creeping to that inevitable place we know as “old age”.
There is such a letdown in January. By its very name, the month of January brings dread. Its cold. Not just chilly, but bone chilling cold. Its dreary. Sunshine? Not in January, at least not where I live. If you want sunshine, you will have to wait until at least April or else hop on a plane destined for someplace tropical.
It seems to stretch on forever, this month of January. Its the “letdown” month. We’ve had the excitement and anticipation of December with all of the flourishes of Christmas and New Year’s. January ushers in the “settle down now, serious business” attitude that most of us shudder to think about when languishing during the holidays. We tend to dislike January also because the contrast between glitz and glitter, which we became accustomed to in December, is so starkly unavoidable with January’s grey and white color scheme.
I yearn for summer when getting out the door is a simple business of throwing on a pair of shorts and a polo shirt and pair sandals. You cant do that in the bleak midwinter of January. Just getting ready for work requires the help of little elves (oh how I wish!). Boots, coats, sweaters, hoodies, hats, scarves, mittens and gloves. The inevitable warming up the car and scraping ice and snow from the winshield if you happen, like me, to have a garage which isnt used for cars but rather to “store” things (junk!). Then there is the driving. Most of us who live in the land of ice and snow, have experience with driving when the weather gods have deemed it necessary to dump the white stuff on us, but its truly never ME I am most worried about!
People who dont do well driving in warm weather certainly shouldnt be out in snowy weather.
People who somehow think that a cell phone has now become part of their anatomy, shouldnt be driving in snowy weather either.
While there wasnt much chance that January could ever redeem itself in my mind, its certain now that I will always dread this month. January is also the month in which my mother died. After 4 years I thought it might become easier to let her go. In many ways it has, but its January and lately, I find myself thinking of her and remembering her. I still hear her voice in my ears. Is this that famous “mother-daughter” connection we all hear so much about? That connection which I had little knowledge of during her life, I seem to have in almost over-abundance, now, in her death.
People with much more training and expertise in these areas would probably tell me the reasons why I cannot seem to let her go, but I think I would rather hold onto the belief that she was my mom and we all, only get one, and I miss her.
