Empty Threat? Not In This Case
Posted
May 3, 2009 at
9:43 am by
Maureen
Recently, I heard a story in the news and was pretty torn. It was story of how a mother in New York ordered her bickering 10 and 12 year old girls out of the car and drove away. Here’s the story in case you missed it. Apparently, Madlyn Primoff left her girls on the side of the road, returned some time later and reported them missing when they weren’t where she left them. A Good Samaritan had seen the girls on the side of the road and brought them to the police station.
Madlyn has been charged with a crime and isn’t able to see her daughters anymore.
I’m torn because this case definitely isn’t black and white for me. I mean, who didn’t hear the threat of “If you don’t stop fighting, I’ll pull this car over and…” But, c’mon–we all knew it was an empty threat. But, who hasn’t gotten so annoyed and worn down by their kid that they’re tempted to leave them on the side of the road and drive away. Of course, there’s no way I could actually DO it, but I’d sure as hell be tempted. And the kids aren’t little–they’re 10 and 12. Definitely old enough to understand punishment and consequence.
I think this just brings to light a larger issue that parenting is HARD. It’s frustrating and thankless and will make you question nearly every decision. But, thankfully, for me, is 100% worth it.
But I’m interested in what everyone else thinks. What’s your opinion on this situation?
Tags: discipline, madlyn primoff, Parenting |
3 Responses to “Empty Threat? Not In This Case”
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1. mully
May 3, 2009 @ 10:38 am
Id be surprised if anyone agrees with this NY mother’s tactics.
But I think thats obvious. Ive pulled over, stopped the car and sat there in complete silence until whatever was going on in the backseat, settled down. It worked. Within 5 minutes, the bickering, aggravating etc had stopped, but I have to say, to leave two kids, ANY age, on the side of a road, alone, in my view is tantamount to abuse.
Obviously this mother had other issues, maybe other more serious problems in her life at the time and the pressure got to her. But whats next? If shes driving along the next time and the girls start acting up and shes at the end of her rope, does she then decide to drive the car into the nearest lake/pond/river as she herself jumps out?
I know that being a parent can cause alot of stress and anxiety. Been there, done that and amazingly, I survived and so did they! But kids dont come with a how to manual and you do the best you can. I think the trick is that all mom’s need to learn their “signs”. When it gets to the point where you just KNOW youre gonna blow, get out of the house. Its a very important mental health exercise to just get away, even if its only for an hour or two.
As far as parenting being thankless, all I can say is that now that my kids are all grown adults, some with children of their own, I KNOW they appreciate the job their Dad and I did because they tell us often enough that they are grateful for the way we raised them.
Thats thanks enough for me!
2. Jessica
May 3, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
From what I understand of the case, the mom circled around to pick up the girls and the mom is actually an attorney herself. I think it was extremely poor judgement, that’s for sure, but it’s obvious that she just kinda lost it. Overwhelmed and frustrated in the moment I suppose.
If this were 25 years ago, this wouldn’t have even made it to the headlines nor would the mother have been arrested.
I grew up with a brother and sister and we were 10 and 11 months apart (Irish triplets). I remember my mom being so exasperated by our constant fighting and bickering that one day, when we were 11, 12 and 13, she pulled out a few knives out of the drawer and handed them to us and said, “Here ya go. If you hate your brothers and sisters so much , do what you need to do,” and then she went back to bed.
We didn’t fight for the rest of the day. In fact, I think all three of us looked at our petty arguements in a different light from that point forward. Today, my mom probably wouldn’t have gone to prison for that.
3. Kymberly
May 11, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
Oh I could see putting them OUT.
I just don’t think I could have driven AWAY.
Shades of grey and all …