1. mully

April 17, 2009 @ 12:11 am

There seems to be alot in the news lately about this issue.

Ive heard in just the past 3 days, 2 stories dealing with American parents, especially the parents of girls, pushing their children into growing up too fast. Be it subtle or the more out and out encouragement, young kids dont get a chance to remain young kids for very long.

One of the stories mentioned the current craze for these “salons” for young girls. You know the places. Theyre all the rage for birthday parties now where the girls go and get glammed up for a hefty price.

I also blame the pageants where very little girls are dolled up to look like some sort of freak show to benefit what seems to be some unfulfilled need of the mother.

No matter how you slice it, none of these are normal ways for little girls to be being raised, let alone teaching them how to be real women.

BTW Marge: My daughter was probably 13 or 14 when I let her wear lip gloss and 16 when she was allowed to wear eye makeup.

Maybe Im old fashioned, but whats left if at 10 youve had the works?

2. Jessica

April 17, 2009 @ 8:38 am

The pageants are creepy and I agree with children being pressured to grow up too quickly, but personally, I don’t think make-up has anything to do with it. I am much more concerned about sex being pushed on kids too early and not just from other kids but adults and schools pushing sex education as early as Kindergarten — ridiculous!

The make-up thing though. I think I started wearing make-up at 12 and I remember being concerned about my weight when I was in middle school, so I’m not sure any of this is new.

3. Rita

April 17, 2009 @ 10:14 am

I don’t know. My ten-year-old is the town’s Little Miss for the year (which was not a beauty pageant, they judged the girls on their personalities–were they having fun, would the be sociable, were they articulate and friendly–to be able to “represent” the town for the year in various charity events and of course, parades). The little girls (9 and 10) do not wear make-up. Lip gloss is available along with “face glitter” but since Katie’s dress is all white, I don’t let her wear it (she’s very active and things get smudged).

She wears a long gown, a tiara, a sash with her name and title on it, and I have to do her hair in a bun (I use one of those “hairy donut” things, a ponytail holder with fake hair around it, it makes this such a breeze) because with their tiaras, their hair needs to be off their faces. She is a princess, a total girly girl. But, she’s also state champion of her division in three events in taekwondo. So, she’s a kick ASS girly girl.

I really think that’s a big key to it–to give your daughters a well rounded self-image. The girls we know at taewkondo are very feminine, but they aren’t all caught up in the bad body image stuff, nor are they caught up in the make-up or sexy clothing. I like to believe that girls who are involved in basketball, soccer and track would be the same way.

You wouldn’t believe how much gender assignment I see even at the pre-school level though. Lots of moms just want their daughters to be very girly-girl and push those stereotypes onto them. Yes, my daughters play with Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets and yes they like pink pretty frilly things, but I also made sure to complement them on being strong and smart and funny as well as pretty.

You can’t make other parents see the light though, if they don’t want to. Stereotypes are deeply ingrained and held dearly by more people in our society than you’d like to believe. You can’t change what other people do, all you can do is work on your own. We have been very fortunate to have older female role models for our girls who prove that you can be strong and feminine, smart and girly and that you can be proud of your body for what it DOES regardless of whether it’s the “right” shape or not. Seek out those people and then help your daughters understand that it’s kind of their job to role model for younger girls too (by maybe entering them in a town’s Little Miss contest where they get to go around and meet all sorts of little girls all over the state and explain that yes, while they do wear their gowns and tiaras on the weekend, reading and math and taekwondo are what they love to do the rest of the time).

4. Rita

April 17, 2009 @ 10:32 am

And to answer the question about what age is appropriate? I don’t know that there is a particular age. My son is 14, and it’s just been this year that I’ve noticed some of his female friends starting to wear a little bit of eye-makeup and lip color regularly. Some are subtle, some are not, and some still don’t wear it at all. But, we see a LOT of 18 year-old girls who are beautiful and don’t wear any make-up at all.

So, I guess if my daughters wanted to wear make-up at like 12/13, I’d be more curious to find out WHY they want to (unless it’s like for a one-time event like a dance or a wedding or something) rather than just tell them no. I really do hope that my girls will be the kind of women who don’t wear make-up regularly through high school and college and just put it on for special occasions.

Do people consider nail polish to be make-up though? I don’t. My girls love to have their piggies painted and we do all sorts of fun colors. I hadn’t thought of it as being part of a cosmetic thing.

5. Kristy

April 20, 2009 @ 10:35 am

I think if most of her peers were wearing some makeup, I would consider letting a 12 y.o. wear only a little lip gloss and maybe light mascara. I remember sneaking to put on makeup at school in 6th grade, so that’s what…like 11? I don’t think I really associated it with boys or “sexiness.” I just wanted to do it because my friends were and it was kind of a thrill to sneak it.

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