And the winner is….
Posted
April 7, 2009 at
10:15 am by
Stacey
On her show yesterday Oprah revealed the “truth” about motherhood – it’s exhausting and frequently embarrassing. Oh, and we mothers judge each other too much.
What the hell?
Of COURSE we judge each other. How are we supposed to feel better about the lousy job we are doing unless we find someone who is doing it WORSE than we are? I am constantly on the hunt for the mom who feeds her kid a worse diet, lets her kids watch more inappropriate television, and shows up more infrequently at school than I do. If you haven’t signed your kids’ Homework Folder in over a month come find me! I will buy you drinks and listen to your stories so I can go home and gloat to my husband “You will not believe the slacker I was just hanging out with! We’re doing a terrific job!”
Oprah clearly has no children as she declared her show yesterday “a judgment free zone.” I declared it “Stacey Appreciation Hour.” There was a mom who admitted she once went three weeks without bathing her kids. Ha! I’ve only gone two! I win! I never had to use a maxi-pad as a diaper, I never put together a lunch from snacks in my car, I never dropped my kid off at the wrong birthday party. I rock! I am the Best. Mother. Ever.
Not that I’m perfect. I missed a parent-teacher conference because I fell asleep, I sent my son to school with just half a cookie in his lunch box (not even a whole cookie!), and I once ignored the fact that my daughter had wet her pants at the playground because I wanted to chat with a friend. But I am not the worst! Some of you out there are even bigger losers than I am and I love you for admitting it. But you should know that when I am nodding my head and patting your hand and saying “Honey, we’ve all been there” I am really thinking “Thank God I’m not that bad.”
Tags: judging, loser mom, Oprah |
12 Responses to “And the winner is….”
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1. Kymberly
April 7, 2009 @ 11:15 am
Rookie move. Novice!
Honestly, you see this “no judgment!” stuff on parenting (read: MOTHERING) message boards to which I say that any parenting board that doesn’t traffic almost exclusively in “why I’m a better mom and aghast at what other parents do - let’s discuss!” is a MB featuring nothing but the sound of crickets.
2. Stacey
April 7, 2009 @ 11:18 am
But it’s so special to be not judged by Oprah. Right?
3. Cin
April 7, 2009 @ 11:50 am
omg you are so right on this. Part of the reason I started blogging was to get away from all the judgment in my real world. I am sure as a new mom that I magnified the judgment in my mind, but it existed. And there are two types, I think. The kind you mentioned, that quietly reassures your own excellence, and the kind that is spread and hurts people in an effort to make oneself look superior in the eyes of others. I have finally come to not be at all affected by either kind. But it was tough!
Good for Oprah for creating a friendly, comfortable environment and discouraging Jerry Springer like comments, but she is naive to think there was no quiet judgment flying around those mama’s heads!
4. Jessica
April 7, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
Amen Sistah!
Oprah can kiss my ass. Not only is judging other mothers therapeutic and fun, its necessary when you see someone beating their child in public. While there needs to be a balance, a lot of the abuse that goes on, goes on by people trying to mind their own business and God forbid, not judge. We have to judge in order to solidify our own values.
While judging another mom for dressing her kids in Wrangler might be totally shallow and unnecessary, beeotches will be beeotches. It’s just the natural order of female domination.
5. Allison G-MOD
April 7, 2009 @ 6:51 pm
We are a Spongebob-watching,
Family-Guy-when-the-kids-are-sleeping,
dollar-store-shopping,
non-organic-milk-drinking,
animal-hunting,
hunted-animal-eating (elk burgers rock!),
Walmart-clothes-wearing,
butt-spanking,
Beanies-&-Weenies-for-dinner-cooking
forgot-to-pick-up-my-kid-on-half-day-Friday-at-school
family!
And I’d go on Oprah and admit it freely!
6. Cin
April 7, 2009 @ 8:17 pm
Oh my gosh you guys! Did you hear that Allison drinks non- organic milk? I know, right? Makes me feel so much better about running out of milk for three days and serving cinnamon toast crunch fajitas for breakfast.
7. Allison G-MOD
April 7, 2009 @ 9:13 pm
“Cinnamon Toast Crunch Fajitas”! LOL!
That sounds tastier than Spaghetti-O Surprise.
“Look, there’s cut-up hot dogs in there. Surpriiiise!”
8. Cin
April 7, 2009 @ 9:39 pm
Ha! I just realized what masters of improvisation moms are! We know how to recover, be it from an empty pantry or absent mindedness on half days.
9. Stacey
April 8, 2009 @ 7:04 am
In the spirit of confession (Judge away, sistahs!) - my son has had the Family Guy Star Wars episode memorized from the age of 6 - and frequently repeats sections of dialogue in public. I’ve had his older sister’s friends look at me and say “You let him watch that?”
10. Jessica
April 8, 2009 @ 8:27 am
I’ve given my kids ice-cream for breakfast. Once.
11. Stacey
April 8, 2009 @ 4:21 pm
Jessica I hope it was a school day!
12. Cin
April 8, 2009 @ 7:07 pm
OOOh! I would have topped that with cinnamon toast crunch and called it a bowl of cereal!
I would absolutely not let my kids watch THE FAMILY GUY, but we watch Saturday Night Live together as a family. How much sense does that make?