The initial impact of parenthood snuck up and smacked me upside the head. No one was as stunned as Mr. Wonderful and I as the day we were told that the “me” that had only recently become “we” would soon become “three.” We had talked about starting a family in a very abstract “someday” kind of way. Nonetheless, when we discovered we were expecting just six months after our wedding, there was more than a moment of stunned silence.

We were in our in twenties, happily married, had a house, a “safe” car and by all normal measures were more than ‘ready’ to start a family. As a result no one fainted, wailed, lectured us, or worried about how we were going to “make it.” We further prepared for the baby like all young couples by loading up with lots of baby items (some of it useless) and well-meant advice (most of it necessary).  Like most overzealous worriers, we tried to plan down to the last baby wipe just what kind of impact this baby would have on our lives.

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Maybe my little April Fool’s prank wasn’t so far off after all — looks like Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 fame has been caught by US Weekly photographers in the company of another woman leaving a local bar at 2 a.m. One witness told the gossip rag that Jon “could barely walk,” although he seems far from being incapacitated in the pic. You would think Jon might be more careful about being in such predicaments nowadays, since just a few months ago the internets was buzzing when Gosselin appeared in a photo with two young college girls.

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It was the use of the phrase “party circuit” that finally put me over the edge. The phrase was used in conjunction with the word “birthday” as in “are you doing the birthday party circuit?” The term used to explain that any self-respecting modern child must first have their “actual birthday day party” with cake and presents from immediate family followed by their “class party” whereby they take treats into class. This culminates In a blow-out “theme” party for the child’s invited friends at a venue sure to impress other parents and/or break the bank.

Excess. Clearly, the days of warm party punch in Dixie cups and a cupcakes homemade by the “birthday mom” are long past. Now you’ve got to really put your thinking cap on (and credit card on the line) to plan the “perfect” birthday party.

Examples of over-the-top birthday party madness include:

A $250,000 birthday party in Florida for a 7-year old girl, with limos, a grand ballroom, helicopter rides, horses, and wild animals. There was a simultaneous “adult party” with an open bar for guests.

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I’ve written in the past about a supposedly emerging and progressive parenting philosophy which seems to result in total resignation and absolving of any parental responsibility to raise well mannered children. Since the topic was brought up in a Canadian newspaper recently, it has given this phenomenon new life as the same story continues to be recycled every few years in the media.

The gist of it is this: Parents make a conscious decision to give their children equal say and representation in how they’re raised, their discipline (if any) and major family decisions giving them complete freedom to choose whatever they want to do in any situation, barring life threatening situations (at least I hope so as this isn’t addressed in the article). Only difference with this new press — it’s been given a new name, “consensual parenting”. Formally such movements were called everything from child centered parenting, attachment parenting or “gentle discipline”.

“When parents put themselves in the role as authorities, they may believe they are doing it ‘for the child’s good,’ ” writes one of the movement’s co-founders, Anna Brown, “but they could be missing an opportunity to have more connected relationships with their children.”

Lindsay Hollett of Nanaimo, B.C., says that she began to snap less with her husband, Craig, and her 18-month-old daughter, Kahlan, after she adopted the consensual-living mindset about a year ago.

Her days became more relaxed when she focused more on Kahlan’s needs, she says. If she had a doctor’s appointment but her daughter was feeling grumpy, for example, Ms. Hollett would not force Kahlan to wait with her to see the doctor. Instead, Ms. Hollett might cancel the appointment or arrange alternative child care, she says.

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I attended our son’s 5th grade musical at his school the other night and as any parent knows, having a school program where the kids sing silly songs for the sake of singing them is verboten nowadays, and instead there needs to be a “message.” Don’t do drugs! Be more tolerant! Your winter holiday is almost as important as Christmas! This particular one, to coincide with Earth Day today, had some sort of “fragile planet” theme admonishing the audience to do several things to save the big rock we live on. Which is harmless, of course, except for the fact that most of the musical’s dated script has become completely irrelevant.

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