Filed under: General
Mommy Knows Best?
Posted
February 4, 2009 at
8:59 pm by
Maureen
I want to be the best parent for my son. Yet, at times, it seems like I’m holding myself to this utterly impossible standard wherein I must choose: Door #1, where my kid will eat all organic food, watch zero television and read chapter books by age three or Door #2: relaxed and happy mommy.
And at times I feel like it’s difficult to find a happy medium without the guilt or fear of damaging your child in some way. For every next step, there’s a book or expert decrying the practice. Vaccines? Cause autism! Sesame Street? Television causes developmental delays! Household Cleaners? Cause brain defects! Tap water? Evil pesticides and medications lurking about!
Now obviously, one can’t live their life in fear and I don’t really pay much attention to all of the inflammatory reports on the nightly news, but it does make me stop and wonder occasionally. Because, as a mom, one of the worst things in the world would be to damage your child in some way, without even realizing it.
But, at the same time, Mommy needs to check her email, go to the bathroom and cook dinner. She can’t always be baking peanut-free treats for playgroup, engaging in brain-stimulating activities and, I don’t know, teaching her son to be bilingual at eighteen months of age (Yes. This was actually suggested.).
I think it definitely boils down to common sense (“You mean it’s BAD for my kid to watch television on a continuous loop and I should instead like, read to him and stuff?”) but I just want the best for my kid.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go let him play with some broken beer bottle pieces and used cigarette butts.
Tags: childproofing, decisions, organic food, Parenting, safety, toddler |
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7 Responses to “Mommy Knows Best?”
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1. mully
February 4, 2009 @ 9:54 pm
Without meaning any disrespect to you Maureen, I REALLY wish mothers of today would learn to relax and let go of all the perfectionism in trying to raise their children.
I was a young mother mostly in the 70’s and 80’s, somewhat into the 90’s but by that time, my 4 were pretty well on their way to OMG! being happy, well adjusted people who didnt eat organic, did watch regular television, partook of coke and pizza and that horrid McDonalds and are now all adults and doing just fine. They werent shipped off everyday to this lesson or that lesson. They werent expected to DO anything but be children and live their lives according to what was expected of their particular age at any given time.
On the other hand, I also made sure they were read to on a regular basis. I made sure they had clean clothes and nice clean sheets to fall asleep in. They had Christmas with their cousins and aunts and uncles and the 4th of July in our community with their friends marching in the parade. We made sure that they watched Sesame Street and Mr.Rodgers along with the Waltons once a week. They also watched the Incredible Hulk and occasionally sneaked the Dukes of Hazzard when their Dad and I werent looking. They played baseball and soccer and they were in school plays. And they were LOVED! and HUGGED! and told how wonderful they were!
Hey people! Lighten up! Organic food will not guarantee a well adjusted, happy life, but all of the above will go a long way towards that.
Being a parent doesnt mean driving yourself crazy to live up to someone’s idea of perfectionism. Give yourself a break.
2. mully
February 4, 2009 @ 10:03 pm
One last thing…..making a mistake isnt going to damage your kids!
They are pretty sturdy individuals, both physically and emotionally.
Short of real, solid abuse, you can make mistakes and in fact you SHOULD make mistakes. It gives you a chance to show them that you are human and that even mommy and daddy can say “I’m sorry”.
3. Cin
February 5, 2009 @ 9:25 pm
Amen. When I adopted my kids I was intimidated by all the “perfect” moms around me. They all had advice and corrections for me but all I needed was for them to be honest and say, “Hey, I have a hard time some times too. You’re doing great.” Of course now I don’t need the approval of anyone, but I think we all do a disservice to our fellow moms by pretending to be super women/super moms. It’s hard. Admit it.
4. Kymberly
February 8, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
Hon, go for slacker mom - they (and their kids) turn out fine and have a whole lot more fun!
Honestly, a nice balance is fine. First world children are among the sturdiest humans on earth.
Sure you’ve got to feed and water and bathe and read and provide safety and security too but that’s baseline stuff. After that I think it’s great to relax. Take them out of the packaging, play with them, enjoy them!
5. Ariel
June 4, 2009 @ 10:15 pm
The vaccine-autism issue is a really big issue for me right now because my 5 month old daughter is not old enough yet to have finished her vaccines. There are children her age dying in the UK and Australia, where vaccine rates have dropped due to a “scientific article” that made irresponsible conclusions based on insufficient data (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn4743).
There is no link between vaccines and autism . Please repeat that three times and believe it.
The only link is that vaccines are given at around the same age as autism first exhibits itself. However, recent studies have shown that autism is diagnosable in the womb (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2123932).
Stepping off my soapbox now
6. mully
June 4, 2009 @ 10:44 pm
Ariel: You might like to take a look at another blog here called “The Herd Immunity Myth. There is a fairly hot debate on that blog about this very subject.
But interestingly, your viewpoint that autism is often discovered and diagnosed at the same time as vaccinations are being given, has been shared by another regular poster here (Charlene).
Its a very valid point and one which I do think needs to be further investigated and the results of those investigations need to be published. This vaccine/autism link has become a life of its own and I, for one, do think that there might be other extenuating circumstances that, so far, because of people like Jenny McCarthy, havent really been studied or looked into.
7. Ariel
June 5, 2009 @ 10:00 am
If you mean that there are some cases reported where the child has a reaction to the vaccine, then yes that is true too. It is very rare, but it does happen. I do believe that vaccines should be made better, just like all medicines should be made better, but it’s so irresponsible of people like Jenny McCarthy to stand up and say you shouldn’t get vaccinated at all just because the current vaccines aren’t perfect. I am also very excited by the prospect of oral vaccines.
I will definitely check out that blog, too. Thank you.