With the economy melting down around us, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I strongly suspect more than a few families have scaled back spring and summer vacation plans? Never fear, my friends, I am here to help. There really is a mid-point on life’s vacation highway between a Disney cruise and taking the kids along on a daytrip to the Unemployment Office. Look at it this way, any old parent can take a kid to Disney World. It takes a special kind of insanity to take a child on a vacation to a coal mine.

My best friend (and coincidentally cousin) and I have been taking vacations together with our respective children since the children were in diapers. That right there is all the proof you’ll ever need that something just isn’t right with the two of us. It’s probably genetic.

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Is the traditional student’s deskchair soon to be a thing of the past? A 2007 Mayo Clinic study found that students who sat on exercise balls instead of traditional chairs focused better (the benefit was especially pronounced in kids with attention problems). The theory is that kids learn better when their brain has to “engage” to keep their bodies balanced on the ball. The balls also help develop better posture and allow kids to fidget, which builds abdominal muscles and burns calories.  

Teachers who’ve tried the balls have been overwhelmingly positive about the experience in online forums. Some teachers have even worked on their own options, such as podium-like chairs and adjustable desks that allow students to stand if they prefer. 

I love this idea on many levels. With playground time cut back in most schools (from 20 minutes to only 15 in my own kids’ case) and with childhood obesity so widespread, I think any chance to burn calories is only going to benefit kids. The only obvious drawback I can imagine with these options is the price. Like many parents, I had to send an extra $25 this year toward crayons, toilet paper and hand soap. Other districts are barely able to keep the electricity on and the plumbing in good repair. The sad truth is that the seating options would probably greatly help many kids, but are probably out of reach for the vast majority of school districts.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?!

Chris beat Megan?  Were you drunk last night America?!

At this point of writing, I do not yet know the fate of Adam and I swear to Madonna if he gets beat by Nick Norman I will faint.

Look, I am a huge Matt Giraud fan.  But he did a terrible job.  So although I would like to have seen him progress, I understand why he didn’t.  See?  I’m not a bad sport.  It just seems that we have seen a thousand Chris’ in our time, but not many Megan’s.  If any.  Oh well, something good is in store for her, for sure.  Crimany all mighty, if Brooke White’s boring butt can release a record, I’m sure someone will scoop up Megan.

Luckily there were apparently a lot of folks across the nation who did not slam tequila shots before they voted and made the perfect choice of Allison.  My goodness she has amazing range and control and just a good sound, ya know?  Good for her.

Okay here we go…. Adam, Norman, Misha, Kai, Jasmine.

Oh no!  Norman vs. Adam!  Now I need the tequila shots.

WHEW!!!!!  Good job voters!  Yeah!

Now I can ramble on for a minute about how hot his performance was last night and I think he did even better tonight!

All hotness aside, like Kara said, Adam Lambert’s vocal range is amazing.  At the start of his song his voice is so low and smooth.  And did anyone else notice how much he looked like Elvis?  Remember the 1968 concert when he was singing, “Looking for Trouble, You Came to the Right Place…”  Remember that?  That’s what Adam reminded me of.  He even did some lip curling snarls.  I was only 7 when Elvis died but I love him to this day and I saw him in Adam’s performance.

And be still my heart Randy compared him to Twilight’s Robert Pattinson.  As if he needed to be compared to a heart melting vampire to become more irresistable.

So then he takes it from the down low to the high up top and it is SMOKIN’!  You compare it to someone like Von Smith who is a bit of a screamer… but it’s painful to watch him.  His veins are popping out and you are waiting for his voice to crack.  That is not the case with Adam.  He goes there, he stays there, he takes you there with him, it’s effortless. <deep breath>  I need to slow down.

The guy is just amazing to watch.  I wish I could buy tickets to his concert today.  I wonder if he likes older women.  No?  Not younger ones, either?  <sigh>.

If you have read many of my reviews you know that I can find something I like about just about everything.  Such is the case with “Burn After Reading”, the Coen Brothers vehicle starring John Malkovich, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, the Dad from “Step Brothers” and the Ice Queen lady from Narnia.  Although I feel unsatisfied by the movie and in general did not like it, I thoroughly enjoyed the characters and wished to see more of them.

My God where do I begin?

First of all, it is a Coen Brothers film, I mentioned that right?  So we have to expect it to be way outside the box.  So to be fair, I am sure if you are a fan of their work, which I am not, you will probably like the movie a lot more than I did.

The whole movie revolves around a case of mistaken identity involving a CD believed to contain top secret information, but actually is just the personal files, and financial records of a bitter John Malkovich who was just fired from the CIA.  The CD was made secretly by his wife, the typically cold Tilda Swinton (Narnia’s Ice Queen) who is having an affair and planning to leave him.

The CD falls into the hands of Pitt and McDormand, two dorks that work at the local gym, who are convinced they have stumbled upon government secrets of the highest sensitivity.  What starts as an attempt to return the “sensitive shit” to Malkovich (who doesn’t even know the CD exists, remember) turns into a botched up clumsy attempt at blackmail.

The plot thickens as everybody is sleeping with everybody and nobody knows it.  Except the CIA because they have everyone under surveillance.

I am a fan of George Clooney that is why I wanted to see it.  From the trailers it seemed that he and Brad Pitt’s characters were going to be a hoot.  Which they were.  Clooneys character was as dapper as usual, with a unique quirk.  He has quite a sexual appetite and builds and carries his own “accessories”.  Pitt is a ridiculous gym geek who has his bike, his IPOD and his water bottle with him wherever he goes.  His character is naive and simple.  He lets his better judgment get clouded by his friend, played by McDormand.

Frances McDormand also works at the gym and she is so desperate to get the several elective cosmetic surgeries she feels necessary to reinvent herself that she hatches this blackmail plan, to the demise of her coworkers.

Most of the time Hubby and I were laughing, but also saying, “what is this movie about?”  About half way through I realized that this movie was not going to have a bubbly “Hollywood ending” but I was so engaged by the characters I could not stop watching.

When the crap hits the fan, things start to fall apart fast and I hated to see the direction it took, although I know it made for a good story, it just wasn’t one that I enjoyed.  Then it had one of those endings where it’s just “done” and you didn’t see it coming.  I hate that.  Also, with everything that happened, and believe me it is ALOT, I thought they left the Tilda Swinton character unresolved.  I would like to have seen her reaction to what was happening right under her nose.

I am not sorry I watched “Burn After Reading”.  It just was not exactly what I expected.  It did manage to deliver some wonderful characters, though, which is what attracted me in the first place.

Since my son turned eighteen months old, I’ve discovered a disturbing trend among friends and family–the questions about “second child” turning from merely inquisitive to downright hostile. When my son turned a year, it apparently was a magical number in which people deemed it socially acceptable to inquire about the timing of “the next one.” I mainly just shrugged my shoulders and made a big production of pouring myself a nice fat glass of Cab. I mean, my kid didn’t sleep through the night until six months, people. I think I’m still recovering.

But now that he’s a year-and-a-half, the shrug and wine-drinking no longer quiets them. I get bombarded with, “Don’t you want your son to have a close sibling?” and “Do you want to change diapers until you’re sixty?” As if I would stop, put the wine glass down and skip off to the bedroom with my husband to avoid diaper changes in middle-age.

And for the record, yeah it would be great for my kid to have a close sibling and no, I don’t really want to be changing my diapers and my kid’s at the same time. But there’s this thing called “sanity.” And I’ve barely recovered it due to the aforementioned non-sleeping and three months of colic and constant zombie-state and being pregnant in the middle of August and swelling up to the size of the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

So.

Where does this leave me?

I’m not sure. But I think I’m going to pour myself a nice glass of Cab.