You’ve made your list, but have you checked it twice? Hopefully you’ve not overlooked a key figure for your gift giving this year: your child’s teacher. If you have any question as to whether or not it is appropriate to give something to him or her, let me tell you right now, it is. It is more than appropriate. Your child’s teacher is someone who you trust to care for your kid for some significant portion of the week. This person is responsible for not only your child’s education but also her safety. Shouldn’t this person be at the forefront of your mind when you are thinking of those who you’d like to thank?

And yes, if there is a classroom assistant or aide, that person should be in your thoughts as well. He or she spends just as much time with your child. I recommend you not make the nasty faux pas of giving the teacher an awesome gift and the assistant something that is clearly not comparable to it. That’s not cool. It’s happened to me, and it’s quite a slight. Be aware that teachers and their assistants often open their gifts together on the last day before winter break. In other words, the assistant is there to see what you gave the teacher and compare. Got that?

The thing is, I know you might have a lot of gifts you need to procure. I realize that because you may not have a very personal relationship with the teacher you may tend to – how shall I say this – skimp? Please don’t. I’m not saying at all that you need to spend lots of money. With things as they are, certainly no one expects that. Fret not, it’s not as hard as you think. There’s a lot you can do to show you are truly thinking of them without breaking the bank. As a former teacher, allow me to offer a few pointers I’ve gleaned from my past experience as a former teacher-gift recipient.

Bad, very, very bad:

An errand is not a gift. Don’t re-gift on the teacher. Teachers are intelligent and we know when you do this – we’re not fooled. If you didn’t want that glass candy dish, what makes you think we do? A very bad re-gift is something we then must turn into something useful via exchange or donation. That means you’ve essentially given us an errand to do because you can assume we’ve gotten many items such as this. It’s enough that we are forced to exchange or donate them because otherwise they will take over our houses. What’s more, because it is re-gifted and you’ve provided no gift receipt, our task of exchange is that much more difficult and sometimes impossible. I’ve been lugging around a weird wooden Santa for four years.

Don’t give the gift of embarrassment. Please, please don’t go shopping after Christmas the previous year and stock up on cheap stuff, then store it so you can bestow it on the unsuspecting the following year. Let’s say, for example, that someone once gave me a glittery set of holiday candles. And let’s say, just for fun, that the odor scent from the candles was so strong that being in the car with them made me nauseous during my drive home from school. So obviously these should be exchanged for something that doesn’t make me ill. The tag on the bottom of the candles say they are from a big store that I frequent, so exchanging them for something like toilet paper shouldn’t be that difficult.

But when one arrives to the customer service desk with said candles, you can imagine the confusion that ensues. Clearly they are from the store, but a scan of the bar code brings up nothing. No one recognizes them and can’t find them elsewhere in the store to establish a price for which they can be exchanged. Then a long-time employee arrives on the scene and remembers them from last year’s holiday stock. At which point a whole series of realizations hits your child’s teacher in the face, including but not limited to:

a) Everyone has just spent 25 minutes trying to figure out how to exchange candles that cannot be returned.

b) Even if they could have been returned they were bought last year for $.99 each so the 25 minutes of everyone’s time was worth less than $3.00.

c) That funk smell very well could have to do with the fact that these rancid candles have been sitting in someone’s basement or attic for a year.

d) These horrible sparklies were not ever intended for you anyway because, guess what, you weren’t even this kid’s teacher last year when they were purchased.

I know you think you are doing a very clever thing by hitting the holiday sales after the fact. You’re getting tons of stuff at next to nothing. But please, if you have a box of stored up holiday items from any year other than this one, please don’t punish your child’s teacher with them. Please. Nothing says “I know I have to get you something but I don’t really feel like it and I don’t want to spend any money, time, or thought on it but I’m obligated to do something so here!” more than this.

Don’t do the macaroni necklace. Handmade gifts from your children are very cute. They are wonderful keepsakes, and of course the teacher loves your child. Sure. But you know how useful that macaroni necklace that your child gave to you is to you? Ok, now reduce that by about twenty, and that’s how great it is to the teacher. Then imagine if you received twenty of them. While it’s great to include something thoughtful from the student, please supplement it with a little something from you as well. Alternatively, do a handmade gift along with your child. I know handmade gifts are all the rage this year, and I’m a big fan. But there’s a difference between a handmade gift that you have some input on and one that is really a child’s craft.

Don’t presume to know where your child’s teacher shops for clothing. Just don’t. There are so many possible offenses here that they cannot be listed. If you are going the gift card route, don’t do it for a clothing store. See note below on the joys of gift cards.

So what do you do?

Things That Won’t Make Anyone Ill:

Full-On Tier Two. Try to think of something you would actually like to receive as a gift and treat the teacher with nothing less than a full-fledged, tier-two gift attempt (tier one: immediate family, tier two: extended family, close friends, and your kid’s teacher).

Gift cards are great. I can’t emphasize this enough. The teacher doesn’t make a lot of money. Really. And gift cards to good places ensure that he/she will pick up something un-lame. It doesn’t have to be for a ton of money either. A $5-$10 card to a coffee place can go an awful long way. And teachers like coffee. They like books too. The gold mine of teacher gifts is when we get several cards for the same place. With some forethought you can coordinate with other families in the class and each give a card to the same store. Many modest amounts combined can end up turning into something pretty great. And department stores or places like Target are good because they’ll be sure to find something they love.

Feed them. If money is an issue and you have many teachers to gift, there’s nothing wrong with making several batches of fudge, toffee, cookies, haystacks, peppermint bark, etc., wrapping them up with ribbon, and presenting them with a nice card (written from your child or you). Being able to go home on the last day of school and gorge on all the goodies is a wonderful thing. Giving the gift of treats also might allow the teacher to not have to do work in the kitchen this holiday season, as they can take some of the goodies along with them to parties or serve them if they are hosting. It’s essentially the opposite of forcing them to run an errand.

Write it. When all else fails, write your child’s teacher a card. Thank this very important person for all that he or she does for your family, and let her know you are thinking of her this holiday season.