1. Jessica

November 20, 2008 @ 7:56 pm

I think most children are bullied to a certain extent, of course, some more than others.

My older son was bullied in 4th grade, by the neighbor jerk next door and Prescott wouldn’t let me confront the parents about it because it would have made for such an awkward situation and plus, they’re just not the type that would believe any such thing. One time, their dog bit my son and they tried denying that even though a bite mark was clearly present.

I struggled with it because him and this other kid down the street even went as far as to do dangerous things to him. They would throw his backpack in front of a moving car, and my son already has a problem with impulse control, so it would make me cringe to hear the stories weeks after it happened.

Thankfully, this year, he is the upper class man at the elementary school, so I’ve decided that if these kids go after him next year, I’m not going to listen to anybody and Mom is going to do the big smack-down.

It’s a schools responsibility to make sure my kid is safe and I don’t really give a shit if the neighbors like me or not. My son has the right to go to school and not be harassed. Hopefully those kids have moved on.

Jerks.

And why is it that bullies parents think their children can do no wrong?

2. momof3_ipmod

November 20, 2008 @ 11:41 pm

Bullies are everywhere and there’s no stopping them. They can get in trouble and be sorry lay low for a while but once nobody is looking they’re back at it again.

It’s a scary thing that it’s happening younger and younger these days. My oldest is only 7 and has already been teased about her weight; and she’s NOT fat at all! She is 7 1/2 years old and still wears a size 5 or 6 while most of the girls her age are wearing 7s and 8s; my kids are pretty petite. After a while I brought it to the teacher’s attention b/c it wasn’t stopping and she was coming home in tears. I talked to a friend of mine whose daughter was in the same class and found out that my daughter wasn’t the only one being teased by this little snot girl. My friend had already called the mom about it (since she doesn’t have problems being confrontational like I do) and the mom said that her daughter was strong willed, opinionated and confident and if that bothered anyone else tough. She wasn’t going to change who her daughter was. I’m sorry…homegirl said WHAT? There’s a big difference between being strong and opinionated and being a hurtful jerk! After the teacher talked to her everything changed. And they’re kinda friends now (we’ll see how long that lasts).

You wanna know the thing that really surprised me? The mother of the little girl is overweight! I was totally expecting to see some gorgeous, skinny woman. I am surprised that she didn’t have more of a problem with her daughter calling other girls fat.

The only thing I could tell my daughter through this was that there are going to be mean people throughout her whole life that will do nothing but try to bring her down and make her feel bad about herself; they’ll make it their goal in life. The important thing to remember is that only YOU can make yourself less of a person by believing those things. I always think of that Will Smith song, “Over time people will treat you bad, disrespect you and make you mad. Let God deal with the things they do, ’cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” But really no matter how much you talk to your kids about how wonderful they are and how the other kids are just jealous I know from personal experience that those kinds of teasing and bullying will stay with you deep down forever.

Schools need to be more involved to make sure that bullying is not going on. And if it is then it needs to be addressed the first time, not the second or third time! Nip it in the bud. Make a no tolerance rule! Anyway, just my thoughts!

3. Allison G-MOD

November 21, 2008 @ 11:35 am

Growing up, we had a family that lived around the corner who were bullies. The whole family was, too! All 4 boys ranging from high school age, down to 1st grade. Even the parents were! I think bullies breed more bullies.

I’m trying to deal with a situation with my son right now. What do you do when your kid’s only friend at school is a buly to them? This kid is a dick to my son, and everytime I ask him ‘Well did you say stop? Why don’t you punch him for doing that to you? Tell the teacher.” He tells me, “No mom. If I did that, he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore.” I tried to tell him that real friends don’t do that shit to you, and that there are a ton of boys in his class who are nice and would treat him better, but he won’t listen. He finally stuck up for himself one day, and said he didn’t want to be friends anymore, and I was so damn proud of him, but that only lasted a month.
He keeps wanting me to let him go over to his house, and I tell him no, because I don’t know his mother/family (that’s my rule). But he’s persistent. Can I just tell him “No you can’t ever go over there because your friend is an asshole!” ?
It’s tough……….

4. Stacey S_MOD

November 21, 2008 @ 1:29 pm

This is such a tough thing to deal with as an adolescent…but it’s absolutely heart wrenching watching your own child go through it!

I remember the first experience I ever had being bullied. I was 4 or 5 years old and almost everyday during my walk to school there were these two boys that would jump out of the bushes to pull the ribbons out of my hair, or pinch me, or call me names. The worst episode was when one grabbed me & the other one put a wet plastic bag over my head….that day I turned around and went home crying to my step mother. Because I was so young I’m not sure what she did about the matter…but I do know from that day forward she walked me to school & those boys never bothered me again.

Later in Jr. High I was teased relentlessly about my weight, my glasses, my bad perm, my braces, my clothes…you name it. Then something happened during the summer before my freshman year of high school. I grew several inches which made me long & lean, I got my braces removed exposing a killer mega watt smile & I finally figured out how to apply make-up & achieve the current hair style. I didn’t so much realize it then…but I can say it now…I was hot!

That’s when I became the bully. I called girls sluts, I made fun of their weight, their clothes, their income, you name it. I had “friends” that thought I was funny & cool & for a little while it felt good to be on the “other side”. One day as I was sitting on the bus when a girl I didn’t like for whatever reason walked past me & I called her a “bitch”. She kept right on walking with her head hung low as I smiled gleefully. There was a boy sitting behind me that had gone to school with me for 9 years… he said to me that he had always admired the way I took the bulling in stride when we were in middle school. I was always kind to people & he recalled that even though nobody liked him in school he asked me to dance with him during a 7th grade social & I had said yes. He told me that he really liked that girl, but you….not so much.

I was stunned! All of a sudden I realized just how awful I had been. I had caused people such hurt…the same hurt I myself had experienced & up until that moment I thought I was happy…when in truth I was a coward & dirt bag. I never taunted anyone after that, and I will always be grateful to *V* for pointing that out to me.

I tell my son all the time that it’s almost a right of passage. Every child is bullied, every child bully’s at some point in their youth….but 99% of the time, something miraculous happens the day you walk off that football field or out of that auditorium in June & it all seems to go away. There are no more “cool” kids or “dorks”, the “in crowd” is nowhere to be found and everyone becomes a co-worker, an acquaintance, or a friend. The plain truth is…when I look through my yearbook now…I don’t even know who ¾ of those people are & it soooo doesn’t matter anymore!