This Is Why I Rarely Go OUT Shopping Anymore
Posted
November 10, 2008 at
2:26 pm by
Kris
Went shopping-alone- for The Girl’s pajamas the other night.
Know what I saw passing the girls’ section? Training bras that were somewhat (okay, ALOT) padded and had CUTIE in a playful arc across the bra cup spelled out in what looked to be a form of shiny rhinestone jewels. When I say girls, I mean in the 5-8 year range. Yeah, FIVE years old.
The whole Bratz/barely concealed product placement issue (no pun intended) in video games, books and other products has really lit a fire under my ass (and I’m sure hundreds of parents across the country). What sort of message is this (the rhinestone cutie bras) sending to our kids? In this case, our girls? Well, we all know the answer to that question. I guess the real question is this:
How is this acceptable and why are the parents buying it?
And yes, I imagine I would still be saying these things even if I weren’t a mother, it just wouldn’t be as high on my radar.
I would never wear this crap if I were that age, my mother would never have let me! Hell- I wouldn’t wear some of it now if it were being marketed to me, or even when I was 18.
Hey, I’d rather be called a tomboy with my jeans and push-up bra tank than a slut for wearing a too-short skirt.
So what do you do about it? How do you handle something like this as a parent?
Tags: bras, Bratz, clothes, shopping |
15 Responses to “This Is Why I Rarely Go OUT Shopping Anymore”
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1. Hillary said:
November 10, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
Having two girls has made clothes shopping very very difficult. The size 7-14 department is now like the Juniors department. Why do girls need pants that have words across the butt? Why do our 7-year-olds need to go to school looking like Britney Spears?
My way of fighting back is not buying those kinds of clothes. No character clothes, no cheesy-looking lingerie. I buy a lot from Lands’ End and Hanna Andersson, or plain pieces from Target. I don’t allow Bratz toys in our house. (We don’t do Barbies either.)
2. Kris said:
November 10, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
I don’t allow Bratz or Barbie in the house, either.
3. Hillary said:
November 10, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Kris - they’re pretty good about staying away from the uber-commercial clothes because they know they’re going to get a big-ole No. If they do they say it as a joke so they can hear me say no and laugh. So they don’t ask all that often.
Like you, I’m gobsmacked the crap is even selling and wonder who the Hell is buying it? You can find cute clothes at many price points that aren’t a walking advertisement for the show/toy/movie of the week.
4. Allison G_MOD said:
November 10, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
My mother bought my sister’s and my clothes when we were in school. I plan on doing the same. As long as I’m paying for it, I get to approve it or reject it.
My mother did buy a pair of jeans for my sister when she was in 8th grade one year that had cut outs all the way up to the thigh, with lace sewn behind the cut outs. They were actually somewhat opaque, but my dad freaked out and cut them to bits with a scissor. Mom didn’t think they were so bad, but Dad did. And I was just bummed because I used to get sis’s hand-me-downs, and now this was a pair of pants I wouldn’t be getting.
As for toys, my girls know better than to ask for Bratz Dolls. We call them “the Bad Barbies” because they “wear too much make-up”. When they get older, I’ll tell them the truth, that the dolls look like sluts.
5. Rita said:
November 10, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
Sigh. I’m not a fan of the word “slut” used in a derogatory manner. It’s a sexist term and not one that I want in my kids’ vocabulary.
Honestly, my knee-jerk reaction to this was to ask where you found a bra for a girl that small. My nine-year-old is very petite and athletic and she wants a bra since a lot of her friends wear bras (and need them at this age, believe it or not). My daughter doesn’t need one yet, she has very good pectoral muscles from the 50+ push ups she does every day and all of her extreme martial arts workouts, but she has no actual breasts yet. Because of her stature and high muscle tone, even the smallest sports bras just flap around her rib cage. It would be nice for her to have something that fits.
Honestly, I’m over worrying about what people choose to dress their kids in. I’m over being concerned about what people feed their kids or what crap they buy for their kids. I know that we raise OUR kids in a certain way and that other people do what they do and it doesn’t always mesh. I’m much more concerned about people teaching their children to hate certain groups than whether they buy padded Bratz bras for their daughters.
I am a pretty strong feminist. I haven’t had an issue with my kids wanting clothing that I find inappropriate. My nine-year-old (the 1st degree black belt in taekwondo and state champ in extreme martial arts, and little miss of our township) wears t-shirts (plain or decorated with some pattern) or long sleeve cotton shirts or sweaters with jeans or khakis every day (except when she’s in her uniform or her gown, lol). She has some dressy dresses for special occasions, but they’re really hard to climb trees in or kick in, so she doesn’t wear them for every day. She is the balance between strength and femininity and her titles prove that. She’s always had Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets and she’s always been able to watch any princess movie she wanted. We balance out what the outside teaches and what we teach. All you can do is raise your own kids and let everyone else worry about their kids.
6. Kris said:
November 10, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
7. Rita said:
November 10, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
Huh. I’ve looked for smaller size bras at wal mart and couldn’t find anything. Were they in the junior’s lingerie section?
8. Hillary said:
November 10, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
My 9-year-old wears a bra. She’d rather not but it’s necessary. I’ve gotten most of her bras at Target. I don’t know if you are near a Kohl’s but they have some bras as well; not sure how small they go as far as the ribcage measurement (28?).
9. Rita said:
November 10, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
Yeah, she has the smallest one, but it’s still too big. I know most of her friends need them. I really think my child will be one of those freaky girls who doesn’t get her first period until she’s like 19 because she has such low body fat and she’s so athletic. We’ll see, but right now she has nothing there. Her six-pack abs and pectorals would be the envy of any teenage boy though, lol.
10. Beth said:
November 14, 2008 @ 3:45 pm
Wow, as the mom of two boys I don’t typically see this type of stuff in stores. Meaning I just don’t notice it probably. I can’t imagine things like that being marketed to girls so young. I have to say, this is one of those times I’m relieved that I have boys.
I wonder, do girls actually ask for these things? I mean, from what i can remember from being young, I didn’t really want to talk about getting my first bra. It was much more of an embarrassing topic. I didn’t want to talk about it. Do girls now really feel comfortable asking their moms for rhinestone studded push-up bras?
Maybe dad should be in charge of clothes shopping with the girls. can’t imagine a daughter asking her dad to buy her something like that:)
11. Allison G_MOD said:
November 14, 2008 @ 7:51 pm
Aaaahh! Flashbacks!
I was quite the tomboy when I was younger, so I was humiliated when the girls at a sleepover I went to told me I needed a bra. Then i burst out into tears when I told my mom when i got home.
Now, comes the worst part; she took me bra-shopping and instead of handing me some bras to put on the changing room, she just strapped it on over my clothes in full view of the store, and said (thick Brooklyn accent) “Yeah. You’ll grow inta it.” And I might add that it was and “ABC” bra. That meant that an A B. or C cup could fit into it. I really don’t have to point out that I had a serious lack of support in my developing years……
12. Hillary said:
November 15, 2008 @ 11:26 am
Oh honey, I remember when my mother hauled me to Younkers and had me measured by the old, totally-cranky bra-fitting woman. Haunts me to this day. Isn’t is scary how a totally natural rite-of-passage can be so traumatizing for girls?
The more I think about that rhinestone-studded bra the more angry I get. Why do we need to sexualize these girls at age 8? 9? Blech.
13. Rita said:
November 16, 2008 @ 9:49 am
Why does it have to be sexualized, though? Really a LOT of girls that age need bras these days (they’re saying it’s the growth hormones in the milk and whatnot). Girls are developing earlier and if you look around at the teenage girls, even the super-skinny ones are MUCH better endowed than we were at that age.
Rhinestones are pretty. They’re girly. Nobody’s going to see the bra except for the girl wearing it. I don’t see it as a sexual thing at all.
14. Kris said:
November 16, 2008 @ 10:01 am
I do agree with you that girls are developing earlier and they are needing bras earlier (which I probably should have mentioned in the original post). However, the rhinestones are going a bit too far to me. But, you know, that’s just my opinion.
As far as the sexualization thing, I think most of it has to do with media exposure. Most of it.
15. Becky said:
February 17, 2009 @ 12:03 pm
I am 12 years old and i need a proper bra i wear just a peice of material and everyone else wears padded bras my mam doesnt want me wearing padded bras but i need some how can i pursuade her to get me some im going bra shopping with her soon but i want to go on my own but i dont know how to ask her…….HELP!