Now that Nicole Richie has gone and selfishly had a baby, Paris Hilton needs a new best friend. But what’s a celebrity to do when looking for Miss Right to club-hop with, appear drunken and half-naked in public with, and play not-quite-as pretty second fiddle to her fawning adoration of herself?

Why, create a reality TV show of course!

Paris stars in a reality show depicting her grueling search for her former best friend’s replacement. “Paris is tired of haters and is looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”

Sure enough. What better way to find a trustworthy and sincere individual than put out an open casting call?

The program is promoted as depicting “a side of Paris not previously seen.”

Seriously now? Is there really a side of Paris Hilton the world at large hasn’t seen? She parades around half naked or near to it most of the time. I can’t imagine that there is much of Paris we’ve missed.

Figures. I’ve never been the trendy sort and once again I’ve completely missed the boat on making friends the new-fashioned way.

Me, I just had to make friends the way of commoners and people without publicists do. I had to be friendly.

That is not to say that we didn’t go through a dry-spell. There is a weird little thing that happens if, like us, you do things pretty much “According To Plan” (patent pending) and marry and have children in your mid-twenties. Suddenly, overnight, some of your friends have children and some of your friends – have not. This line between the haves and have nots seems invisible at first but virtually every adult I know admits that eventually, yes, the kids come between you. You and your childless friends I mean.

There you are, cast adrift on a sea of disposable diapers and sippy cups and if you aren’t careful, you don’t have many friends. If you move, like we did, to a home an hour in any direction from people who already know and like you, the isolation can be almost crippling.

Sometimes, trying to find parent friends is like trying to find a niche in high school–the social strata are so rigid. Post high school, pre-kids, I have had little trouble making friends. I had a bright red Firebird and a charge account (probably maxed out) at the fashionable(ish) clothing store of the moment.  I was in!

Now, when meeting “other parents” for the first time, I feel like people judge us by: Do we share the exact same parenting philosophies? Are our kids complementary? Do we share the exact same views on working vs. staying home? Is our “look” sufficient.

Still, a reality television show never occurred to me. I can be so dumb sometimes.

I made my friends the old-fashioned way.  I had my kids do it for me.

In the nearly five years since our children started school, I’ve found that there is a rich, full world out there ripe with people willing to hang out with me if only I stalk, er, apply myself to the task of MAKING THEM LOVE ME (or at least tolerate me).  I’m not above riding a four-year-old’s coattails.

I find that a nice mix of good listener, fierce loyalty, and an ability to feign and interest in whatever sport their child is involved in (particularly if my child is involved in the same one) works wonders. I am also willing to meet for coffee at virtually any hour of the day. I think it’s important to be accessible and many people really value having a friend who is a slacker and willing to drop everything and come out and play. That’s what I bring to the party.

Thus I have friends who are soccer moms (and dads). Cheer parents. Preschool parents. PTO parents and the super fun types known only as “other.” I have hippie friends and banker friends and parent friends with more experience in their left little finger than I’ll have in a lifetime, parenting-wise.

We’d like to think that they’re our kind of ‘peeps’ - pretty hip, joke-cracking, and creative people - the only exception being that they dress better and actually return telephone calls.

I’ve made friendships that lasted a season and friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. I’ve laughed until I’ve cried, and sometimes cried until we could laugh again.

I don’t think I need a reality show. Reality is the best show there is already and if you are parenting, you have a front-row seat to some really great stuff.

If I did run an ad for new friends it would read something like this: Friends needed for playdates and possible friendship. Must like coffee and kids (but not necessarily in that order).