Battles, big and small.
Posted
November 5, 2008 at
9:49 pm by
Trish
Readers of my own blog are well aware of my rabid interest in the US Election, and on this site I have been taking part in a discussion forum that has got tempers flared and patriotism ignited. It’s pretty intense. As an Australian, living in Australia and therefore about as unable to vote in the US Election as a person can be, it is perplexing for some Americans to have me weighing in with my opinions. One person on the discussion forum suggested I take my opinions and shove them in my tucker-bag (I’m paraphrasing).
I was standing outside my younger daughter’s bedroom door yesterday afternoon, eavesdropping on a very loud debate that was going on between her and her big sister. My girls argue about absolutely anything and everything, which I have learned - from other mothers of daughters - is completely normal. Curious to get a handle on the dynamic between the two of them, I stood outside the bedroom and listened to the screaming match unfold. At one point, I kid you not, they were both yelling at each other to calm down.
And it got me thinking about the US election. Maybe that’s what I have been doing - eavesdropping on America. For the past year and a half I have been reading SO much stuff online, from BOTH sides of the political divide, trying to get my head around all the issues, all the debates, all the opinions and accusations. There seems to be far more information available online about this election than there was during the 2004 race, and I am spending hours every day reading as much of it as I can. My husband wants this election to be over, he wants his wife back.
So I have been listening in on the US election, and there’s a lot of yelling going on.
If I had popped my head into my daughter’s bedroom yesterday afternoon and asked them to please try to resolve the disagreement without shouting, or if I had suggested a solution to their problem, or taken sides, or meddled at all, I’m quite certain they both would have looked at me with the sort of contempt reserved for people who stick their heads in where they aren’t welcome.
But here’s the thing. I want my kids to be respectful to each other. I don’t want my younger daughter to ‘win’ an argument by telling her sister that her head looks like a monkey’s butt. I don’t want my older daughter to ‘win’ an argument by throwing the Cookie Monster at her sister and slamming the door loudly on her way out.
I know they will always fight, and they will always find something to disagree on. I have two sisters and I’m not so old that I can’t remember fighting over clothes and chores. I know it’s a bit much to hope for while they’re still kids, but eventually I hope that my girls will be able to to have a civil discussion, where each daughter is allowed to state their side of the story in an honest and mature way, without either one of them resorting to nasty attacks involving soft toys.
And when they grow up and get involved in heated online discussions with people who disagree with their point of view, I hope they will be able to keep their anger and frustration in check, or simply recognise the moment when it’s better to just walk away.
Tags: arguments, election, fighting, sisters |
10 Responses to “Battles, big and small.”
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1. mully
November 6, 2008 @ 1:03 am
While I appreciate the analogy Trish, I think you are minimizing a rather large issue with a much smaller one.
Im all for teaching our children and grandchildren how to debate effectively and with respect. This goes to the core of respecting your fellow man. However, when the debate is over something such as our very recent election, hoping that people will remember to always debate civilly is likened to hoping man will someday be able to fly.
Try to remember, and this may not be something you are aware of not being here in the States, this campaign was totally unbalanced as far as the media coverage of it went. Barack Obama and the Democratic party were favored and courted by many large newspapers in this country and certainly by almost every broadcast company on television.
This sort of very partisan behavior isnt likely to encourage hand holding between Democrats and Republicans any more than it would if it were a newspaper article favoring one of your daughters over another.
The simple truth is this: Americans (perhaps people everywhere) are passionate in their belief systems. We have a strong sense of our voice being heard. When we feel that our voices arent being heard, or worse, that our voices are being ignored, we WILL rise up with our fists in the air and our feet stomping on the ground and yes, maybe even redfaced and sputtering.
Its the nature of the beast. So while I agree that it would be nice for everyone to play pat-a-cake and have tea and politely debate issues, I dont think, in the real world, that is likely to happen.
2. mully
November 6, 2008 @ 1:06 am
One last comment and then I am off to bed.
I firmly believe that debate, heated or otherwise, is a healthy thing. It airs sides of issues, gets thoughts out there and encourages people to THINK. When you quiet that down, shush it (for lack of a better word) you also quiet the processes that just might make changes.
3. Jessica
November 6, 2008 @ 10:38 am
Man, if this is in reference to the recent election thread, you must not debate politics anywhere where people might disagree with you or on the net. I am an avid political blog reader and participant and what happened here was a day in the park with cotton candy and hoop skirts. LOL.
4. Rita
November 6, 2008 @ 10:53 am
That still doesn’t make it right.
That so-called “debate” on the other thread was just a horror show.
I truly believe that people can debate issues without getting mean. I know, I’m the one who got kicked off of Baby Center–twice–so, I’ve had my shameful moments, too. But, the thing is, up until this election, my husband and I have been on opposite sides of the political divide, and somehow we manage to debate issues passionately without attacking each other.
Personally, I enjoy a view from outside our country. I find it very interesting to see how we’re perceived by the rest of the world, which is part of why I watch the BBC news. One of my favorite television shows is Top Gear, and those guys are freakishly anti_American. It’s a funny show and I like it, but sometimes I find myself muttering, “And, who the HELL do those guys think they are, saying that shit about us??? They’re no better, honestly!” and other times I have to swallow hard because they’ve pointed out a painful truth.
I think it can be only good to see what people from other countries think of us as a whole. What good can it possibly do to shut them out and get knee-jerk defensive about what they say? I mean, if what they say isn’t your reality, then ignore it, but wonder how they came out their information. If it IS a reality and it hurts, then go about changing it.
5. Jessica
November 6, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
I disagree, but I acknowledge that people are hyper-sensitive on the net, when it comes to people (not IRL) disagreeing with their political views. It happens on both sides.
6. Trish
November 6, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
Hi everyone, thanks for your comments.
I was working for Paul Keating’s government in 1996. I was a twenty-four year old junior staff member in the office of one of the Senators, and saw first hand how the media can manipulate the story. After several years of Labor Party rule (the Australian Labor Party are left-leaning, like the Democrats) we had an election at the end of 1996 that brought the opposition - the Australian Liberal Party (conservative) - into power. They won in a landslide. I can remember the frustration amongst our people that the media just weren’t reporting favourably for us - they wouldn’t even write stories about our tax policies or health policies, despite being given press releases from us several times a day. We were completely shut out.
And then our Media Advisor overheard, whilst delivering Press Releases to the Press Gallery, the well-known Editor of a major Australian newspaper talking about the fact that they had deliberately skewed their reporting in order to get the Liberal Party in because they were ‘tired of writing about Paul Keating’ but they ‘hadn’t meant to create a landslide.’ I was absolutely stunned, and also so incredibly naive. I had no idea that the media could do that, I thought that journalists were supposed to be impartial.
Maybe you could call it media bias, Mully. But look at it from the media’s point of view. They’re bored of writing about George W. Bush, they’re tired of being denied the opportunity for regular press conferences, they’re frustrated at being limited by the White House with regards to their access to officials and the questions they’re allowed to ask (just ask Helen Thomas about that) and maybe they just wanted to write about someone else for a while. I think they see Barack Obama as being a little more sympathetic to the media, and what I mean by that is that he sees they have a valuable job to do, and he’s not going to make it as hard for them to do their job as George Bush has done. (The handling of Sarah Palin’s access to the media by the McCain campaign was extraordinary, and a taste of what was to come).
And I’d be willing to bet Obama will be making it easier for the small-L liberal media as well as the conservative media, so everyone will be happy, especially those of you who want to make sure every move he makes over the next four years is carefully scrutinized and reported on.
Jessica - I was in the thick of it over on that debate, I am certainly not afraid to debate an issue with people who disagree with me. As long at the debate remains civil and respectful, that is. I walk away when people start attacking me personally, and that’s the lesson I’ll teach my kids.
Mully - I also agree that debate and discussion is essential. My post was not about whether or not debate was important, it was about conducting a debate in an intelligent, constructive way.
7. Jessica
November 6, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
I agree, people should refrain from personal attacks. Politics is a very passionate subject and it’s difficult to find polite discourse on the Internet where people tend to be fairly anonymous. Even in the attack ads on both sides, those were incredibly personal. When you think about it, politics is very personal so it’s difficult to not offend people when you’re debating, but that’s why I put in a side-note to try to remain civil.
What specific personal attack are you referring to?
8. mully
November 6, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Im curious too…what attack was personal towards you, Trish?
9. Trish
November 6, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
I have responded to this question in a private email to Jessica.
My next blog post will be about the weather. Stay tuned.
10. mully
November 6, 2008 @ 11:49 pm
LOL……