Would still suck as much, if it involves Parent Discussion Groups.

In some kindergarten classes across the country, the shape formerly known as a diamond is now being called a rhombus. 

How do I know this?  Some people spent a ridiculously long time talking about it in Parent Discussion Group.

–My daughter got it wrong on the screening test and I said, “Well, we always used to call it a diamond!”  A rhombus is on its side, but the diamond is point down!

–Well, what’s-her-name in the afternoon class said they always called it a rhombus anyway.

–But, she’s English.

–So?

–So, they don’t have baseball over there, silly!  I mean, are we gonna call it a Baseball Rhombus now?

–Or how about that line in Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?  When we do this sign, are we going to sing, “Like a rhombus in the sky?”

–But, they mean diamond like the jewel in that song, don’t they, because it twinkles? (I hate to admit, that was me who said that, getting sucked into the silliness just a little).

–But, we do THIS with our hands, we make the (eye roll) rhombus shape. 

–Yeah, some math geeks in the government got their panties in a bunch and decided that we all need to teach our kids that it’s a rhombus, not a diamond.

And on it went.  For how long?  I don’t know for sure, but long enough for me to tune out and then think, Holy crap are they still talking about the damn rhombus?  They are still talking about the rhombus?  I cannot believe that we are all sitting here, grown people, talking about a friggin’ rhombus!

Finally, I had enough and blurted out, “Oh who cares!  So, then in first grade they can go back to calling it a diamond if they want to!”

Hissy fits ensued.

–But, your child will get it wrong on the screening test if she calls it a diamond.

–But, they should have sent out a district-wise notice alerting parents of the change so we could prepare our kids from the start.

–But, Sesame Street still calls it a diamond.

I interrupted again, “Honestly, in the big scheme of your child’s life, this is perfectly meaningless, you know.  Whether she got the question right or wrong on a kindergarten screening test is not going to matter one bit when she’s in 3’d or 6^th or 11^th grade, you know?”

And they all huffed quietly and murmured protests about just how wrong this is. 

When we talk about sacrifices we make for our children, this is one of the things that immediately comes to my mind.  Parent Discussion Group at the pre-school. 

I am lucky enough live in an area with excellent schools.  We have top-notch public schools, charter schools, private parochial schools, private non-parochial schools, language inversion schools, an environmental school and more.  As a result, we also have some really great pre-schools.  One of them is the program through the school district.  That sounds public, which would make it seem free, but it’s not.  The fee is based on a sliding scale according to income, which means if you’re like me, you’re financially screwed because your fees are really high to cover the costs of people at the bottom of the scale.  But, whatever, I’m liberal, so I’ll walk the walk and pay the higher price. 

The program itself is great, it’s worth the price.  I sent my 4^th grader there for two years.  There are so many things I love about it, the first being that the kids don’t have to be totally potty trained (that in itself is a rarity for pre-school).  Secondly, they encourage parent-child separation to happen at a speed that’s comfortable for each family.  Some kids separate just fine at the start, others need the parent to be there for a while until they’re comfortable.  Being the mother of a child who was very shy at the start of the year, I really liked that aspect.  Then of course, the teachers themselves are wonderful and they have excellent resources–sensory tables with everything from brightly colored rice to craft pom-poms in it on different days, paints, art projects every day, books, and all the toys you can imagine.  It really is a wonderful program.

The Parent Discussion Group is a concept that I like in theory.  It serves a bunch of noble purposes.  It gets parents involved in their child’s education right from the start.  The idea is that if the parents are already making a habit of being at the school once a week, mingling with other parents and the teacher, that this will continue on in elementary school.  Good idea!  It also serves as a “parent education” class.  There is a trained facilitator and we are supposed to cover topics relevant to our children’s ages.  So, in this class, we talk about raising three-year-olds.  It’s a place to get support for the crazy things these kids put us through, to get new ideas on discipline and learn what are reasonable expectations for our kids.  It is a good thing, but I hate it oh so very much.  In my ideal vision of it, the parents I am forced to spend this time with would be very different and there would be no talk about the outrage over rhombus vs diamond.  We’d have better things to discuss, and the moms would be funnier.

I will continue to make this sacrifice for my child, because it really is about her.  She’s doing well in the program and there is a lot to like about it.  It’s not about my entertainment.  I also find that I occasionally have some supporters when I have a little outburst in the room.  They come up to me after class and whisper their agreements to me.  It makes me feel good, that I had something to offer someone. 

I also am not without gain in this experience.  The facilitator asked the group what we, as parents, are looking for from Parent Discussion Group this year.  I bit my lip so I couldn’t blurt out, “Blog fodder?”

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