Where do you draw the line?
Posted
October 21, 2008 at
11:47 pm by
Marge
How do you divide the workload between you and your partner in parenting (i.e., spouse, domestic partner, etc,)?
Do you sometimes feel like you’re shouldering most of the workload while your partner gets the “fun stuff”? Well, according to this article from CNN, moms are still carrying the bigger basket of parenting and household chores (about 39 hours a week). However, men have added an average of nine hours to their duty roster over their fathers and uncles 30 years ago.
If you have the fortune of sharing parenting duties, where do you draw the line? Are you 75/25? 60/40? How did you define your roles and how have they evolved since? It’s likely that the work (and the fun) may not be divided evenly, but do you think that division is equitable? How are the roles in your household different than the ones you grew up with?
Tags: CNN, division of work, Parenting, role models, roles, sharing parenting duties |
3 Responses to “Where do you draw the line?”
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1. Rita said:
October 22, 2008 @ 7:17 am
It’s hard for me to assign a percentage, because I’m home all day and he’s at work.
During the week, during the day, I typically do the grocery shopping and the cleaning and the child care. He cleans up after dinner though, and does most of the child care during the evenings and we split it pretty equally on the weekends. He does ALL the yard work (raking leaves, mowing lawn, shoveling snow) and all house and vehicle maintenance.
But, for about three years (hard pregnancy and resulting health issues), he did everything but childcare. I was physically here to watch the children, but I could not lift anything, and my bending was restricted. So, I could not vacuum or mop or pick up toys or do grocery shopping or anything.
I think overall, we’re pretty equal. I probably now end up doing a little more, just because I’m physically here. But he pulls his weight, for sure.
My parents were totally equal. They both worked full-time out of the home, so all work IN the home was divided 50/50.
DH’s family was a more traditional one. Once, after we were married, DH went to heat up a cup of coffee in the microwave and his dad had a fit, thinking that my husband was as ignorant of kitchen appliances as he was and was going to blow us all to kingdom come with his attempt to work the microwave. Yeah, it’s that bad. The man does not know how to work the toaster or boil water. He’s never done laundry or turned on a vacuum cleaner. It’s amazing that my husband turned out the way he did.
2. Yu Ming Lui said:
October 22, 2008 @ 7:25 am
I think it depends on who earns more and has to work longer hours at the office. I definitely have much lower stress levels than my partner so even if it seems I’m shouldering more at home, I think he does his part by rushing from meetings to meetings, getting up early for conference calls, and working till midnight. I don’t think it is possible to have an equal 50-50 split — perhaps it’s got to do with how much each can do with X amount of time at home and levels of exhaustion.
3. Cin said:
October 22, 2008 @ 8:53 am
Before we had kids we were equal in work hours and pay. Now that we have kids I work primarily from home. My work load never changed. I do it all. I love cleaning and cooking so I never complained except at times when the schedule was tight and I needed help. But since having kids the workload is a constant source of stress and my husband, Tarzan, does not understand my gripe. I wonder if he’d understand an Emeril Legasse cast iron skillet to the back of the head?