Sex Education: The Debate Rages On
Posted
October 18, 2008 at
12:02 pm by
Ami
The debate over “abstinence only” versus “comprehensive” sex education continues to rage. A quick internet search turns up about a million different statistics that have been helpfully twisted around to support the opinion of whomever happens to run that particular website. Eh, who needs statistics? I think the average logical person realizes that abstinence-only sex ed has failed miserably over the past decade. Yet even those who’ve been personally affected by these programs refuse to admit their inefficacy. *cough* Sarah Palin *cough*
In an ideal world, parents would educate their own children on the subject, but unfortunately, most parents simply fail to offer any guidance whatsoever. My own Mom and Dad, who were excellent parents in many ways, were both much too uncomfortable to discuss the topic with me. My entire “talk” can be summarized by the following scenario, which took place while Dad and I gave the dog a bath.
“Hey Dad, hand me the soap. I need to wash his hindquarters.”
“Be careful,” Dad grunted. “He’s sensitive down there.”
As minimal as my parent’s input was, I have to say I appreciate that I was raised in the era before “virginity pledges” were common. It’s 2008, people! The average woman marries in her mid to late twenties (well, unless she’s had abstinence only sex education and has gotten knocked up during her teens). I find these pledges ludicrous, and I would wager most of the girls lying their asses off during the ceremonies feel the same. I mean, really, what’s the alternative to agreeing to take that pledge? “Ooh, sorry Dad, but I want to have sex. In fact, I’ve already got my eye on this guy in my History class. He’s a little shy, but he seems like he’d be a stallion in bed. Could you pass the peas, please?”
Anyway, I would argue that no version of sex education actually prevents kids from having sex until marriage. As evidence, I’d like you to take a piece of paper and a pen and list all the people you know, including yourself, who legitimately waited until marriage. Yeah, my paper is empty too.
So, given the aforementioned opinions, do I actually want my kids to have sex while they’re still in high school? Hell, no! But I think it’s much more realistic to encourage kids to wait until they’re older by frankly discussing the issues than it is to insist on no premarital sex whatsover. That’s why I’m unveiling my own sex education plan, which combines comprehensive sex education with the following factors that allowed me to leave high school (back in 1991) in a white graduation robe, so to speak:
1) Unrealistic expectations: As a teenage devotee of Harlequin romances, I wouldn’t have settled for anything less than an Italian prince named Carlito, who would whisk me off to his Italian villa and teach me the language of love.
2) Religious guilt: I’m Catholic. Enough said.
3) Unattractiveness to the opposite sex: There’s nothing that keeps the boys at bay like a tight Ogilvie home perm and large glasses with blue frames and pink lenses.
Come to think of it, my Mother is the one who insisted on the perms and let me buy the Harlequins, and my Dad is the one who dragged us to mass every five months or so. Maybe my parents were more adept at sex education than I thought…
Tags: abstinence-only sex ed, comprehensive sex ed, Humor, sex-education |
8 Responses to “Sex Education: The Debate Rages On”
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1. momof3_ipmod said:
October 18, 2008 @ 9:08 pm
This is such a tough subject. I for one don’t *really* know how I feel about it yet. On one hand I do think that *parents* should be teaching their kids about sex before anyone else. But on the other hand, like you said from your own experience, some parents don’t b/c either A) they’re too uncomfortable to do so or B) they probably already think their kids know about it. Personally, since I am comfortable talking to my kids about sex, *I* want to be the one to do it, not a teacher. But not all kids have parents willing to teach them.
I do have one friend that I can think of right now that *did* wait until after (way after) she was married to have sex b/c she was too afraid to. She was taught that it hurt like hell so she never wanted to do it. It wasn’t until about a month or so after she was married that she did it. Thank God her husband was understanding enough! lol
2. Ami said:
October 18, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
Your poor friend, I can see why she was so nervous. Her husband sounds like a keeper!
3. momof3_ipmod said:
October 18, 2008 @ 10:32 pm
Yeah, she got lucky! Her hubs is one of the most patient (obviously) kind people that I’ve ever met. They are pretty perfect for each other.
I know, right? Willpower like that is almost unheard of now a days! lol
4. Jessica said:
October 19, 2008 @ 9:07 am
What I want to know, when is the best time to have that sex talk? At what age?
Another thought - I wonder if those animatronic babies work in deterring teens from having sex, you know, those baby dolls that cry all night? Anything know anything about that?
5. Anwyn said:
October 19, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
I try to be very honest with my kids when they ask questions, but it’s hard to know when you’re telling them too much or too little. Does anyone know of any good books on this?
6. Kymberly said:
October 19, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
Girl I think you’ve found the cure! Love your c. 1991 sex-ed theories. LOL funny.
7. Stacey S_MOD said:
October 20, 2008 @ 8:11 am
I had the talk with my son when he was around 7 or 8…I know it sounds awful young, but I’m really glad I did. I was floored by what “information” he already had & how horribly wrong it all was. I was also taken aback by the questions he was asking me, so clearly it was something that was on his mind.
My son is 16 now and we still have these open conversations…I’m not exactly thrilled by what I hear, but I’m glad to know he feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
One thing that has come up over & over is that a lot of girls are waiting to have
sexintercourse…however everything else is A-Okay just so long as there is no penetration involved. As a parent I don’t even know HOW to go about dealing with this one…I can hear myself now…Christian if you let her touch your penis one more time your grounded for a month!
I can only hope & pray the story’s he tells me about the “other kids” are in fact “other kids” & not his own. Apparently it doesn’t matter if you drop them off & pick them up from the movies with a group if friends, & apparently it doesn’t matter if you have talked with the mother of the kid he’s going to spending the night with…if they want to do “stuff” they find away…& let’s face it…I know what I was doing at 16…how about you?
I think it’s important for the schools to keep sex education as part of the curriculum…the kids are “learning” about it regardless…this at least gives them the opportunity to get the correct information.
8. bon said:
October 20, 2008 @ 11:30 am
Erm… in the crowds that I run in these days it’s actually AT LEAST AS common to wait until after marriage to have sex. My own husband was a virgin on our wedding night (was my second marriage). My oldest sister was, my little sis at the unmarried age of 31 still is. Most of my girlfriends were. ALL of Dadguy’s closest (four men) friends were.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done and done with conviction.