Stuck in the Middle (School) with You
Posted
August 22, 2008 at
12:01 pm by
Kymberly
“Dear 4th grade parents …” says the latest letter. This has become a theme lately. “Dear 4th Grade Parents there will be a 4th Grade Graduation on …” “Dear 4th Grade Parents … there will be a farewell picnic on …” “Dear 4th Grade Parents there will be a middle school orientation on …” This might seem sweet - even thoughtful - on the outside. Do not be fooled. They send these to me, a “Dear 4th Grade Parent,” because they want to RIP MY HEART OUT AND TEAR IT INTO A MILLION LITTLE PIECES.
You see, despite my repeated attempts to make them listen to reason, our otherwise excellent school district suffers one fatal flaw: they think that ten year olds belong in middle school. In my day, “middle school” (also quaintly known as “junior high”) didn’t begin until 7th grade. By then I was 13 years old and so deeply in the throes of puberty that they could have enrolled me in a Russian prison or Disneyworld interchangeably and I would have been none the wiser. At that age, I rarely noticed anything beyond my own navel-gazing obsession with myself.
By the time I entered the hallowed halls of middle school where PEOPLE OLDER THAN YOU ARE LYING IN WAIT TO BEAT YOU (AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM) TO A NUB I was armed, at the very least, with a sense of self-preservation and some strawberry lip gloss. I also had a comb in my back-pocket that could easily have doubled as a weapon.
My son, however, knows nothing of the mean streets of middle school. In elementary everything is soft, fuzzy, and sweet. He has been led to expect that people should be kind and thoughtful. He has been taught that bullying and making others feel badly about themselves is not to be tolerated. He believes with his whole heart that to be different is to be celebrated.
In short, he’s been sold a load of goods.
Orientation. Last night we parents all filed into the middle school auditorium to learn how our lives would change. Notice I said “our lives?” Sure, the kids are probably uncertain, unsure, and nervous about this brave new world, but really, isn’t what happens to my kids really all about me? How can I be the parent of a middle-school child? I have friends with children in 5th grade in other districts and they still get to be elementary parents. Why was I not given a vote on this academic super-sizing of my child from “little” to “middle?”
As we toured the middle school (which, curiously, shares a building with the high school) We were repeatedly assured that a variety of double doors and sentry staff would keep those ever-present high-school students at bay. After a time, I became more concerned – not less. I’m not entirely sure what those high school students are up to down the hall, but apparently, they bear carefully watching lest they escape and cause mayhem in the middle school.
I find the security ironic since in my day a high school student wouldn’t have gone within arms length of a middle school kid unless he or she was being paid to do so. And even then - just barely.
My son seems enthralled with the idea of finally having a locker and the ability to walk the halls between classes. Lunchtime (where for the first time ever they get to sit with anyone they wish rather than assigned seating) sounds enticing rather than terrifying. Then again, he’s always been far more confident than I was at his age. Lest you get the wrong idea, I attended a very safe public school system myself. Nonetheless, it was just habit to glance at those long-awaited lockers on the tour and instantly assess whether your average ten year old (or mine) would fit in one.
Tagged. It seems only yesterday my letters read “Dear Kindergarten parent …” and I fastened a plastic nametag to his shirt and sent him off into his future. The nametag was very important and clearly far more for my security than his. It said who he was (and who he belonged to); where he was going (which teacher would meet him); and what he would need to assist in his journey along the way (bus number, lunch number, class number). I don’t know about him, but I certainly felt safer having it there.
Now there is no nametag (because a middle schooler would die of shame). Yet, if he had one it would tell you who he is (my whole world); where he is going (wherever his dreams take him as long as we don’t break him first); and what he will need to assist in his journey (a lot of hope, a dash of dreams, and a boatload of guidance. See also: please don’t break).
“Dear 4th Grade Parents” they write yet again, to which I can only sigh, pray, and reply:
“Dear 5th Grade … I beg of you, please handle with care.“
Tags: 4th, 5th, fifth grade, fourth grade, heart, Middle School, parents, students |
9 Responses to “Stuck in the Middle (School) with You”
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1. Spithapns said:
August 22, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
WHERE did your son attend elementary school - the Naval Academy? No lockers, assigned seating at lunch!?! Though perhaps my son’s school should pick this up and I could have avoided, at last year’s Mom’s Come to Lunch Day, being thwacked in the face by the obnoxious kid.
2. Kymberly said:
August 22, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
No lockers and assigned seating at lunch - yes. “Assigned” in that you sat with whomever you were lined up with. There was no “survival of the fittest - sure hope you’re popular kid!” at lunch time.
The building is fairly new and yet - no lockers. Just hooks in the classroom.
3. Rita said:
August 22, 2008 @ 2:43 pm
Wow. I would totally move.
We’re going from a “middle school” philosophy to a “junior high” philosophy within our district right now. What that means is that elementary used to be K-6th, middle school was 7th, 8th, and 9th and high school was 10-12. Now, we’re doing elementary as K-5, junior high is 6th, 7th, and 8th and high school is 9-12. Regardless, my kids go to a charter school that runs from 6th-12th. But, I would NEVER throw 4th graders into a middle school/junior high building. That’s asinine!
I have a kid going into 4th and that would make me crazy. She’s had a locker (shared locker between three kids) since second grade and there is no assigned seating at lunch.
What are the grades for this middle school, may I ask? It’s crazy! I’d move to a different district, seriously, but that’s just me.
4. Kymberly said:
August 23, 2008 @ 11:58 am
Middle School here (and in virtually every other district around here) is 5-8. So at the close of FOURTH grade in elementary they start writing to you to ‘welcome’ you to the new building - in 5th grade.
In the next “excellent” rated district adjoining ours they have recently moved the FOURTH grade to Middle School to ease “overcrowding” in their elementary buliding.
Moving would be a bit dramatic. Our district is top rated with the neighboring school where 4th graders are in middle school rated second and then local schools fall off dramatically from there. Our district, in fact, is the one people get on a list to attend via “open enrollment.” Oddly, not being “from around here” I seem to be one of the few appalled by 5th graders in “middle school.” The people who grew up around here say “it’s always been that way” and can’t see what I’m worked up about.
Hello? Because I’m a sentimental fool that’s why!
I *love* that “Junior High” is coming back! That’s what I attended back in the dark ages of the 80’s (!) - ours was grades 7-8 and when I refer to “Junior High” now my teenage nieces just fall about the place laughing so hard at me. Apparently “Junior High” is an archaic term!
5. Trish said:
August 25, 2008 @ 7:48 am
American schools sounds so much scarier than Australian schools. I can’t get my head around all the different terms. We have kindergarten, then primary school, then high school, followed by two years of college, then the optional extra of University. Primary school is years 1 to 6, high school is 7-10 (Year 7, Year 8… no sophomores or juniors or anything), College is Years 11 and 12. It’s only quite recently that we’ve been building ‘Super Schools’ that have all the years from kindergarten right through to Year 12.
I hope your son settles in quickly!
6. Mary Beth said:
August 25, 2008 @ 10:39 am
I have never heard of a middle school starting so young. I thought ours was horrible for starting in 6th grade. I read on your blog where you live in the rural midwest, so maybe it is due to the elementary school just needing the space?
My youngest just started high school and loves the fact that (a)he is out of middle school (b) no longer has the crankiest and meanest teachers in the system (c) can sit with anyone from any class at any table at lunch ….all 19 minutes of it! (d) you get home sooner because our middle schools run from 9:15 to 4:15 and (e)you can actually hang out in the hall and talk to people before homeroom without an administrator thinking that you are up to no good and therefore you must walk silently in the hall to your homeroom.
I just think there are no “good” middle schools! Hang in there! My prayers are with you!
7. Kymberly said:
August 26, 2008 @ 7:13 am
I never had either. I would blame it on “overcrowding” but according to the “natives” they’ve started “Middle School” in 5th grade for decades. Moreover, our nearly-new grade school building (k-4) recently accepted a county preschool because they had “extra” space.
They seem to think 5th grade is a-okay for middle school. I disagree but, as it turns out, it isn’t all about me!
8. doodlebug said:
August 26, 2008 @ 2:06 pm
Kymberly,
I feel your pain. My son (whose 11th birthday was this past Sunday, mind you) just started middle school, although as a 6th grader.
He’s happens to be going to the same school I attended, back when it was a junior high, but memories of angst from that age are not quelling my anxiety at sending in a kid who is a year younger than I was when I ventured into the hormonal pit. Now, I had fun and made life-long friends in junior high, but I remember that first semester was a nightmare.
Add to it he’s been placed in the all-honors curriculum. Special privilege, right? Well, so far he’s had four hours of homework every night, not to mention weekends, and he hasn’t even been assigned his band instrument yet which will add to the nightly schedule. Extracurricular activities? Not if he’s going to sleep!
I’m sure it will calm down as he adjusts to the schedule and the work load.
I just felt bad when we gave him a much-needed watch for his b-day and I realized he’s joined the rest of us, tied to time now in a way children never are.
9. Mary Beth said:
August 26, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
Don’t you hate it when that happens??