Give my sister the epidural!
Posted
July 30, 2008 at
12:45 pm by
Allison J
As I said before, my sister gave birth to her first child on Monday.
She had joked for months about her desire to have an epidural. “As soon as I walk into that hospital I want an anesthesiologist in my room!” Her husband and I were well-versed on the topic, and knew that she was serious. At one point, after 2 hours of pushing, the doctors shut off her epidural. She (naturally) flipped out, while her husband convincing channeled Shirley MacLaine from that heartbreaking scene from Terms of Endearment. “Give my daughter the shot!”
My sis refused to push without pain meds. The doctor assured her they would have to perform a c-section if she was unwilling to participate. Defiantly she replied “well, then you’ll have to do a c-section.” The epidural was back on, and the baby followed 10 minutes later.
I didn’t blame my sister one single bit. I myself had been the birthing coach for a friend a few years back. She resisted the idea of an epidural. She wanted a drug-free birthing experience. I respected her decision, but cautioned her. Needless to say, when it came time to push she freaked out! She wanted that epidural. It was too late — time to push. It was difficult to watch (and I can’t imagine how it actually felt).
As far as I’m concerned, a woman’s method of delivery is her business. Be it natural, in a tub, c-section, or epidural — whatever is good for you. However, while waiting for my nephew to arrive, I noticed a little debate happening between other expectant friends and family. Intrigued, I ran the subject by some female friends of mine.
Welcome to the great birthing debate.
“Natural’s the way to go. You feel more connected, and it doesn’t hurt that bad.”
“Are you kidding me? My epidural saved my life. There was no way I was pushing without meds.”
“My friend had a wonderful experience by using a birthing tub and the guidance of a dula.”
“In the tub? That’s disgusting. And dangerous. You should be in a hospital, surrounded by a trained medical staff and equipment.”
“I think a tub birth is a nice alternative.”
“Yeah, well just wait till YOU give birth. You’ll be screaming for an epidural.”
“My cousin had a scheduled c-section. She said she wouldn’t have done it any other way.”
“That’s cheating! C-sections should only be done when absolutely necessary.”
I never knew this topic was one of such debate. It seems some who have gone the natural route feel superior to those who choose medication. Those that opted for an epidural think the natural gals are flighty and a tad masochistic.
Has anyone else encountered this?
Tags: c-section, epidural, natural-birth |
8 Responses to “Give my sister the epidural!”
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1. Dani said:
July 30, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
Goodness, I can’t believe they pulled it. And it’s not like two hours is unheard of in active labor!
I’ve listened to the debate but I think what everyone forgets is that it’s what is best for YOU. If you want natural or in a tub, by all means. But to tell me this is what I should do and that I’m wrong if that’s not what I want. I’ve had several people tell me that I “missed out” by having my son in a hospital.
What these people don’t realize is that my son was an emergency born at only 29 weeks and would have died if he was born at home. I’m a little biased that with my second, I want lots of skilled hands around. Maybe if I’d had a perfect birth the first time I would want differnetly.
The point is that everyone is different and you shouldn’t push your views on someone else just because it worked for you.
2. july mom said:
July 30, 2008 @ 1:09 pm
I couldn’t care less what anyone else does. It’s not a competition. You get the baby whether you have meds or not. I think women should do what THEY want. When I was in labor, there was a midwife on duty (dh is Army and I was at a military facility) who did not “believe” in meds. After hours of pain, my dh finally told her he didn’t give a rats ass what she believed in, I wanted pain meds and by god she was going to give them to me. I really loved him for that. I finally got pain meds (not an epi at this point, just something to dull the pain), she went off duty and my fav doc came on and asked if I wanted an epi. Seriously, I could have kissed him. I thought that might have been inappropriate though. Considering the circumstances. Plus, you know, it would have been awkward, what with dh in the room and the fact that my doc had been looking at my business. Once the epi was in, there was no more pain, ds popped out and life was good.
3. Rita said:
July 30, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Hee hee hee, has anyone heard of this???
LMAO, Allison that is so sweetly naive. There are entire boards, no entire websites</em devoted only to those debates. Not just birthing choices, but then infant feeding methods, and circumcision and to work or not to work and so on. It’s endearingly called “the mommy wars.”
I don’t care how other people birth their children (barring anything idiotically neglectful, like birthing while parachuting or something). Nor do I really care how people feed their babies (as long as it’s either breastmilk or commercially produced formula and not some home-made stuff comprised of soy milk and corn syrup), nor do I care whether women choose to work or not after they have children.
What I do care about is people pushing their agendas through our government so that the other choice is restricted. I also care about name-calling and attaching social stigmas to one choice or another. Personally, I believe that women, given the chance, will overall make the best decisions for themselves and their children and the exceptions are rare, so we should all be given the opportunity to make those choices for ourselves and our families without judgement or fear of being considered negligent for doing so.
That’s my rant on it.
4. Jen on the Edge said:
July 30, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
It’s up to every woman to decide for herself and no (male) doctor should ever tell her otherwise.
When I was pregnant with my second child, a couple of my friends had terrible experiences with their deliveries in the weeks leading up to my own. Both stories involved male doctors not respecting the expectant mother’s wishes regarding pain relief. I made my husband swear he’d have my back on whatever I decided and he agreed. Not that I was expecting any issues…
Delivery day came. I went from 3 cm to 10 cm in 30 minutes. Painful. Then my epidural wore off. Much more pain. The doctor and nurse swore I would need to push only a few times and the baby would come out. I crossed my legs and refused to participate. The doctor asked my husband to help. My husband looked the doctor straight in the eye and said, “Give her what she wants.” I got the epidural. 97 minutes (and many pushes) later, I finally had my daughter in my arms.
Mother always knows best.
5. Rita said:
July 30, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Male or female, it doesn’t matter. One of the worst doctors I had was a woman who kept ignoring my fears over a VBAC with my second pregnancy. She kept assuring me that they had pain control. I wasn’t afraid of PAIN (I mean, c-sections kinda hurt too, afterwards), I was afraid of something going wrong and the baby dying (since my first was an emergency c-section), and she just ignored that. I think she was more concerned about her c-section numbers than she was about the well-being of her patients. I changed doctors in the middle of that pregnancy and the male doctor I ended up with was very sympathetic to all my concerns. Of course then the baby turned breech and the c-section was necessary anyway.
6. Maureen said:
July 30, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
I honestly don’t know why people care so much how other women choose to have their babies. And then attach judgement to whatever is different from what they personally chose to do.
Whether or pushed it out, had the needle stuck in your back or climbed into the tub, honestly. None of it’s a fun experience. Shouldn’t we all be comforting one another on the fact that we survived? I mean, really?
For the record, my birth plan was: Get it out. No, seriously. Just get it out.
7. Allison G_MOD said:
July 31, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
I’ve got to agree with Rita in post #3. The “mommy wars” are everywhere and about every topic. You’ll soon find out Allison J. from the minute you announce your pregnancy, everything you eat or drink, every baby product you buy, every doctor/midwife/birthing center you choose will be scrutinized by other mothers. EVERYTHING. And what you don’t hear directly to your face will be said behind your back. It’s vicious.
8. Mackenzie said:
August 13, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
I don’t understand why women would choose not to have an epidural~shoot I even wanted more after the delivery!!!