This Birthday Business
Posted
July 28, 2008 at
5:04 pm by
Kymberly
It was the use of the phrase “party circuit” that finally put me over the edge. The phrase, you see, was used in conjunction with the word “birthday” as in “are you doing the birthday party circuit?” The term used to explain that any self-respecting modern child must first have their “actual birthday day party” with cake and presents from immediate family followed by their “class party” whereby they take treats into class. This culminates In a blow-out “theme” party for the child’s invited friends at a venue sure to impress other parents and/or break the bank. If a child should happen to suffer the misfortune of having a birthday over the summer holiday, then the only possible way to remedy this tragic situation is with something spectacular. Perhaps you could rent Disney World?
Excess. Clearly, the days of warm party punch in Dixie cups and a cupcakes homemade by the “birthday mom” are long past. Now you’ve got to really put your thinking cap on (and credit card on the line) to plan the “perfect” birthday party.
Examples of over-the-top birthday madness include:
A $250,000 birthday party in Florida for a 7-year old girl, with limos, a grand ballroom, helicopter rides, horses, and wild animals. There was a simultaneous “adult party” with an open bar for guests.
Not to be outdone, a New York father threw a $10 million party for his 13 year old daughter’s birthday, including the rock icon Aerosmith.
The poor judgment implied in allowing any member of Aerosmith anywhere near your thirteen year old daughter notwithstanding, I think I’d need an open bar to make it through any of the aforementioned with a straight face.
Granted, we peasants aren’t much better. Examples abound of perfectly average parents going completely insane in pursuit of decorated honors in the birthday party wars:
One party invitation requested gifts worth at least $35. The mother defended her choice saying that in previous years her child received some gifts worth “only $10,” which did not even cover her costs.
Worse, it is reportedly becoming somewhat common for picky party guests to wait for confirmation of what will be in the “goody bag” that guests take home before accepting an invitation to a friend’s party. So much so that more than once young partygoers, disappointed by parties without gift bags, have been reported to declare: “This is a rip off!”
Finally, even in so called “middle class” households, it is becoming somewhat an “in” thing to have children as young as seven picked up by stretch limos to transport them to a party.
Seriously? Stretch limos for prom I understand, but do you really need a designated driver for a second grade shindig?
Edge. Obviously, I’ve lost my competitive edge, because while the media writes of a strong feeling among Generation X parents that the better the birthday party, the better the parent, I’m just not feeling it anymore.
Sure, I went overboard for a few years. There was the memorable “baby’s first birthday” where I somehow thought it would be “fun” to invite sixty relatives over DURING NAPTIME and force my sobbing one year old to sit and open gifts. Ah sweet memories.The photos could easily be entered into evidence in a Child Protective Services hearing.
Undaunted, I would play on some variation of this “it seemed like a good idea at the time (but clearly wasn’t)” no less than eight more times. What can I say, I’m not exactly quick on the uptake.
So what does my precious remember of his first nine birthday celebrations? Does he remember the dump truck cake and enormous backhoe sandbox from his first birthday?
His response: “What sandbox?”
How about the beloved Disney characters on EVERYTHING short of the wallpaper and both himself and guests decked out in costumes?”
“What Costumes?” he said.
Okay, this one was just a few years ago. He MUST remember the one with the piñata (in the dining room – it rained) and the giant mural of your favorite trading card character and …
“I sorta remember that one mom.”
I had TWENTY THREE hyped-up six year old boys in my house and he “sorta” remembers it?
I’ll never forget it.
Point taken. So what would he like to do for his upcoming birthday party?
He thought for a moment. Then his face lit up with the most MARVELOUS IDEA EVER! “Play with my friends,” he answered. “And maybe do whatever we want to do, and could we have pizza? Not homemade pizza, the kind they bring? The brought kind of pizza, and root beer and some cake. I definitely want cake!”
Go figure. It turns out that you really can leave the costumes and the clowns and the characters and the chaos out of a birthday party and still give a kid what he really, really wants - fun.
Sounds like a piece of cake.
Tags: birthday, birthday parties, children, extravagant, lavish, Money, simple |
10 Responses to “This Birthday Business”
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1. Jen on the Edge
July 28, 2008 @ 6:47 pm
Amen sister!
We always set a firm limit on how much a party costs — more to keep me in line than anything else. We’ve talked to our kids about having a ‘no gifts’ line on the invitation, but they aren’t going for it yet. So, when my kids’ friends’ parents ask what they can get my children, I always have a list of inexpensive items to suggest.
This year, my almost 8 y.o. asked for her party to be a brunch. A brunch? Yes, truly. And all she wants for food is donuts and chocolate milk. No cake or ice cream or anything else. I can live with that.
My almost 10 y.o. wants to have a sleepover, but nothing fancy. Just pizza and a DVD. Again, I can live with that.
2. Allison G_MOD
July 28, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
I think the over-the-top parties are just a big “Look At Me” extravaganza used by parents to compete with each other. What a joke!
I am happy to take the loser position in that contest. My pocketbook can’t afford a rockin’ party AND presents for my kids.
Your son’s idea for a party is the best kind!
3. Rita
July 28, 2008 @ 8:26 pm
Yes, we’ve never been in a position to have an over-the-top party and I’ve been happy with that. My kids like their parties and I like that it’s not the huge thing that I read about like this. There really are some kids (in this country–gasp!) who don’t get to have much of a celebration at all for their birthday’s. So, having pizza, friends, cake, ice-cream and presents is a big extravagance if you look at it globally.
4. Mary Beth
July 28, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
When my youngest son turned 13, he and a friend wanted to have a party together. We all thought this would be great since they have all the same friends. So I told them to make a list of invitees…..they did and it was a list of 75 boys and girls. I asked if they could pare it down a bit and they said this was the pared down number!!! Well I didn’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt about not being invited and since we knew this would most likely be his last big b’day party, we just went for it along with the other family. We had a clubhouse, a big inflatable slide, DDR, two DJs (someone’s big brothers) and lots of kid friendly food. It turned out to be the best party ever and the kids were so well behaved. I kept saying that it was just three hours and surely I could survive that. We had a lot of chaperones and things went very smoothly. Thank goodness the clubhouse had a circle driveway because we had a line as far as we could see of parents cars waiting to pick up kids at 10pm. It was also nice to meet a lot of the kids and their parents that we did not know from school. I still cannot believe we did that though. When they were younger I went by that rule of having as many kids as the age of the bday child, plus one.
5. Stacey S_MOD
July 29, 2008 @ 8:31 am
Don’t knock the Big Birthday parties….it’s my business…it’s what puts food on our table! LOL
Seriously, as an events coordinator (AKA the moonwalk girl) your jaw would DROP if you saw HOW much $$$ people spent on their kids B-day parties who CLEARLY should NOT be spending that kind of dough! When you think that the average moonwalk is around $200 for the day, not to include the invites, goodie bags, food, presents, decoration etc… and the kid is like 4!
I actually try and talk some of these parents into simplifying the party “you don’t need to go all out right now…you’re upping your own anti” They don’t want to hear it because at so & so’s birthday party there was a regular moonwalk, so now they want the one with the slide inside, and these are the PARENTS! Even with the economy in the current state I have only noticed a slight drop in sales over the past few weeks from last years sales. The worst is when some of the kids come in the store & they look DISAPOINTED because mom & dad only handed out $300 for a water slide and they wanted the $900 obstacle course!!! Sometimes the whole thing blows my mind.
6. Mary Beth
July 29, 2008 @ 10:29 am
The moonwalk girl!! I love it! I never did huge parties for my little ones and am so glad because they don’t really remember and they get worn out at their own parties! Glad I saved the blowout for age 13.
Funny, when my older son turned 13 I asked him if he wanted a big party and he said, “No, I just want a Playstation 2.” He is 18 now and we had a big party for his graduation which is what he wanted but at age 13, he was not into it.
Same thing with my daughter. She did not want a big party at 16 but did at 18. There is one thing for sure…I am not having a party unless the child really wants it.
Stacy, I bet you have got the best stories!!
7. Stacey S_MOD
July 29, 2008 @ 11:36 am
OMG you have NO idea! Let’s just say I’ll never look at our mechanical bull the same.
8. Kymberly
July 29, 2008 @ 2:02 pm
Snort!
9. Mary Beth
July 29, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
Oh Stacey….do tell!!
You have a mechanical bull, too? I vaguely remember one of those “back in the day”!!
10. Stacey S_MOD
July 30, 2008 @ 8:57 am
We have 4 of em`! All I’m going to say is Cape Cod, Bartender’s Association Bash, Mechanical Bull, Strippers, Cotton Candy Bikini’s, and a dunk tank. I can’t even LOOK at Texas Pete (that particular bull) without blushing!